THE COMEDY OF ERRORS 

DRAMATIS PERSONAE
SOLINUS 	Duke of Ephesus. (DUKE SOLINUS) 	
EGEON 	a merchant of Syracuse. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	| 
| twin brothers, and sons to Egeon and Emilia. 
| 
	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	| 
| twin brothers, and attendants on the two Antipholuses. 
| 	
BALTHAZAR 	a merchant 	
ANGELO 	a goldsmith. 	
First Merchant 	friend to Antipholus of Syracuse. 	
Second Merchant 	to whom Angelo is a debtor. 	
PINCH 	a schoolmaster. 	
EMILIA 	wife to Egeon, an abbess at Ephesus. 	
ADRIANA 	wife to Antipholus of Ephesus. 	
LUCIANA 	her sister. 	
LUCE 	servant to Adriana. 	
	A Courtesan. 	
	Jailer, Officers, and other Attendants 
(Jailer:) 
(Officer:) 
(Servant:) 	

Scene
Ephesus, a small island off the coast of Brazil.  Today.

Act I
Scene I A hall in DUKE SOLINUS'S palace.
	[Enter DUKE SOLINUS, EGEON, Jailer, Officers, and other Attendants] 	
EGEON 	Proceed, Solinus, to procure my fall 
And by the doom of death end woes and all. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Merchant of Syracusa, plead no more; 
I am not partial to infringe our laws: 
The enmity and discord which of late 
Sprung from the rancorous outrage of your duke 
To merchants, our well-dealing countrymen, 
Who wanting guilders to redeem their lives 
Have seal'd his rigorous statutes with their bloods, 
Excludes all pity from our threatening looks. 
For, since the mortal and intestine jars 
'Twixt thy seditious countrymen and us, 
It hath in solemn synods been decreed 
Both by the Syracusians and ourselves, 
To admit no traffic to our adverse towns Nay, more, 
If any born at Ephesus be seen 
At any Syracusian marts and fairs; 
Again: if any Syracusian born 
Come to the bay of Ephesus, he dies, 
His goods confiscate to the duke's dispose, 
Unless a thousand marks be levied, 
To quit the penalty and to ransom him. 
Thy substance, valued at the highest rate, 
Cannot amount unto a hundred marks; 
Therefore by law thou art condemned to die. 	
EGEON 	Yet this my comfort: when your words are done, 
My woes end likewise with the evening sun. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Well, Syracusian, say in brief the cause 
Why thou departed'st from thy native home 
And for what cause thou camest to Ephesus. 	
EGEON 	A heavier task could not have been imposed 
Than I to speak my griefs unspeakable: 
Yet, that the world may witness that my end 
Was wrought by nature, not by vile offence, 
I'll utter what my sorrows give me leave. 
In Syracusa was I born, and wed 
Unto a woman, happy but for me, 
And by me, had not our hap been bad. 
With her I lived in joy; our wealth increased 
By prosperous voyages I often made 
To Epidamnum; till my factor's death 
And the great care of goods at random left 
Drew me from kind embracements of my spouse: 
From whom my absence was not six months old 
Before herself, almost at fainting under 
The pleasing punishment that women bear, 
Had made provision for her following me 
And soon and safe arrived where I was. 
There had she not been long, but she became 
A joyful mother of two goodly sons; 
And, which was strange, the one so like the other, 
As could not be distinguish'd but by names. 
That very hour, and in the self-same inn, 
A meaner woman was delivered 
Of such a burden, male twins, both alike: 
Those,--for their parents were exceeding poor,-- 
I bought and brought up to attend my sons. 
My wife, not meanly proud of two such boys, 
Made daily motions for our home return: 
Unwilling I agreed. Alas! too soon, 
We came aboard. 
A league from Epidamnum had we sail'd, 
Before the always wind-obeying deep 
Gave any tragic instance of our harm: 
But longer did we not retain much hope; 
For what obscured light the heavens did grant 
Did but convey unto our fearful minds 
A doubtful warrant of immediate death; 
Which though myself would gladly have embraced, 
Yet the incessant weepings of my wife,  
And piteous plainings of the pretty babes
Forced me to seek delays for them and me. 
And this it was, for other means was none: 
The sailors sought for safety by our boat, 
And left the ship, then sinking-ripe, to us: 
My wife, more careful for the latter-born, 
Had fasten'd him unto a small spare mast, 
Such as seafaring men provide for storms; 
To him one of the other twins was bound, 
Whilst I had been like heedful of the other: 
The children thus disposed, my wife and I, 
Fixing our eyes on whom our care was fix'd, 
Fasten'd ourselves at either end the mast; 
And floating straight, obedient to the stream, 
Was carried towards Corinth, as we thought. 
At length the sun, gazing upon the earth, 
Dispersed those vapours that offended us; 
And by the benefit of his wished light, 
The seas wax'd calm, and we discovered 
Two ships from far making amain to us, 
Of Corinth that, of Epidaurus this: 
But ere they came,--O, let me say no more! 
Gather the sequel by that went before. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Nay, forward, old man; do not break off so; 
For we may pity, though not pardon thee. 	
EGEON 	O, had the gods done so, I had not now 
Worthily term'd them merciless to us! 
For, ere the ships could meet by twice five leagues, 
We were encounterd by a mighty rock; 
Which being violently borne upon, 
Our helpful ship was splitted in the midst; 
So that, in this unjust divorce of us, 
Fortune had left to both of us alike 
What to delight in, what to sorrow for. 
Her part, poor soul! seeming as burdened 
With lesser weight but not with lesser woe, 
Was carried with more speed before the wind; 
And in our sight they three were taken up 
By fishermen of Corinth, as we thought. 
At length, another ship had seized on us; 
And, knowing whom it was their hap to save, 
Gave healthful welcome to their shipwreck'd guests; 
And would have reft the fishers of their prey, 
Had not their bark been very slow of sail; 
And therefore homeward did they bend their course. 
Thus have you heard me sever'd from my bliss; 
That by misfortunes was my life prolong'd, 
To tell sad stories of my own mishaps. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	And for the sake of them thou sorrowest for, 
Do me the favour to dilate at full 
What hath befall'n of them and thee till now. 	
EGEON 	My youngest boy, and yet my eldest care, 
At eighteen years became inquisitive 
After his brother: and importuned me 
That his attendant--so his case was like, 
Reft of his brother, but retain'd his name-- 
Might bear him company in the quest of him: 
Whom whilst I labour'd of a love to see, 
I hazarded the loss of whom I loved. 
Five summers have I spent in furthest Greece, 
Roaming clean through the bounds of Asia, 
And, coasting homeward, came to Ephesus; 
Hopeless to find, yet loath to leave unsought 
Or that or any place that harbours men. 
But here must end the story of my life; 
And happy were I in my timely death, 
Could all my travels warrant me they live. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Hapless Egeon, whom the fates have mark'd 
To bear the extremity of dire mishap! 
Now, trust me, were it not against our laws, 
Against my crown, my oath, my dignity, 
Which princes, would they, may not disannul, 
My soul would sue as advocate for thee. 
But, though thou art adjudged to the death 
And passed sentence may not be recall'd 
But to our honour's great disparagement, 
Yet I will favour thee in what I can. 
Therefore, merchant, I'll limit thee this day 
To seek thy life by beneficial help: 
Try all the friends thou hast in Ephesus; 
Beg thou, or borrow, to make up the sum, 
And live; if no, then thou art doom'd to die. 
Jailer, take him to thy custody. 	
Jailer 	I will, my lord. 	
EGEON 	Hopeless and helpless doth Egeon wend, 
But to procrastinate his lifeless end. 	
	[Exeunt] 	

Scene II The Mart.
	[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse, DROMIO of Syracuse, and First Merchant] 	
First Merchant 	Therefore give out you are of Epidamnum, 
Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate. 
This very day a Syracusian merchant 
Is apprehended for arrival here; 
And not being able to buy out his life 
According to the statute of the town, 
Dies ere the weary sun set in the west. 
There is your money that I had to keep. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE	Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host, 
And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee. 
Within this hour it will be dinner-time: 
Till that, I'll view the manners of the town, 
Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings, 
And then return and sleep within mine inn, 
For with long travel I am stiff and weary. 
Get thee away. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Many a man would take you at your word, 
And go indeed, having so good a mean. 	
	[Exit] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	A trusty villain, he, that very oft, 
When I am dull with care and melancholy, 
Lightens my humour with his merry jests. 
What, will you walk with me about the town, 
And then go to my inn and dine with me? 	
First Merchant 	I am invited, sir, to certain merchants, 
Of whom I hope to make much benefit; 
I crave your pardon. Soon at five o'clock, 
Please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart 
And afterward consort you till bed-time: 
My present business calls me from you now. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Farewell till then: I will go lose myself 
And wander up and down to view the city. 	
First Merchant 	Sir, I commend you to your own content. 	
	[Exit] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	She that commends me to mine own content 
Commends me to the thing I cannot get. 
I to the world am like a drop of water 
That in the ocean seeks another drop, 
Who, falling there to find his fellow forth, 
Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself: 
So I, to find a mother and a brother, 
In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself. 	
	[Enter DROMIO of Ephesus] 	
	Here comes the almanac of my true date. 
What now? how chance thou art return'd so soon? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too late: 
The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit, 
The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell; 
My mistress made it one upon my cheek: 
She is so hot because the meat is cold; 
The meat is cold because you come not home; 
You come not home because you have no stomach; 
You have no stomach having broke your fast; 
But we that know what 'tis to fast and pray 
Are penitent for your default to-day. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Stop in your wind, sir: tell me this, I pray: 
Where have you left the money that I gave you? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	O,--sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last 
To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper? 
The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	I am not in a sportive humour now: 
Tell me, and dally not, where is the money? 
We being strangers here, how darest thou trust 
So great a charge from thine own custody? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	I pray you, air, as you sit at dinner:  
Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock, 
And strike you home without a messenger. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season; 
Reserve them till a merrier hour than this. 
Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	To me, sir? why, you gave no gold to me. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness, 
And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	My charge was but to fetch you from the mart 
Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner: 
My mistress and her sister stays for you. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	In what safe place you have bestow'd my money, 
Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours 
That stands on tricks when I am undisposed: 
Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	I have some marks of yours upon my pate, 
Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders, 
But not a thousand marks between you both. 
If I should pay your worship those again, 
Perchance you will not bear them patiently. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Thy mistress' marks? what mistress, slave, hast thou? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix; 
She that doth fast till you come home to dinner. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face, 
Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	What mean you, sir? for God's sake, hold your hands! 
Nay, and you will not, sir, I'll take my heels. 	
	[Exit] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Upon my life, by some device or other 
The villain is o'er-raught of all my money. 
They say this town is full of cozenage, 
As, nimble jugglers that deceive the eye, 
Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind, 
Soul-killing witches that deform the body, 
Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks, 
And many such-like liberties of sin: 
If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner. 
I'll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave: 
I greatly fear my money is not safe. 	
	[Exit] 	

Act II
Scene I The house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.
	[Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA] 	
ADRIANA 	Neither my husband nor the slave return'd, 
That in such haste I sent to seek his master! 
Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock. 	
LUCIANA 	Perhaps some merchant hath invited him, 
And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner. 
Good sister, let us dine and never fret: 
A man is master of his liberty: 
Time is their master, and, when they see time, 
They'll go or come: if so, be patient, sister. 	
ADRIANA 	Why should their liberty than ours be more? 	
LUCIANA 	Because their business still lies out o' door. 	
ADRIANA 	Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill. 	
LUCIANA 	O, know he is the bridle of your will. 	
ADRIANA 	There's none but asses will be bridled so. 	
LUCIANA 	Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe. 
There's nothing situate under heaven's eye 
But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky: 
The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls, 
Are their males' subjects and at their controls: 
Men, more divine, the masters of all these, 
Lords of the wide world and wild watery seas, 
Indued with intellectual sense and souls, 
Of more preeminence than fish and fowls, 
Are masters to their females, and their lords: 
Then let your will attend on their accords. 	
ADRIANA 	This servitude makes you to keep unwed. 	
LUCIANA 	Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed. 	
ADRIANA 	But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway. 	
LUCIANA 	Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey. 	
ADRIANA 	How if your husband start some other where? 	
LUCIANA 	Till he come home again, I would forbear. 	
ADRIANA 	Patience unmoved! no marvel though she pause; 
They can be meek that have no other cause. 
A wretched soul, bruised with adversity, 
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry; 
But were we burdened with like weight of pain, 
As much or more would we ourselves complain: 
So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee, 
With urging helpless patience wouldst relieve me, 
But, if thou live to see like right bereft, 
This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left. 	
LUCIANA 	Well, I will marry one day, but to try. 
Here comes your man; now is your husband nigh. 	
	[Enter DROMIO of Ephesus] 	
ADRIANA 	Say, is your tardy master now at hand? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Nay, he's at two hands with me, and that my two ears 
can witness. 	
ADRIANA 	Say, didst thou speak with him? know'st thou his mind? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear: 
Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it. 	
LUCIANA 	Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst not feel his meaning? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well feel his 
blows; and withal so doubtfully that I could scarce 
understand them. 	
ADRIANA 	But say, I prithee, is he coming home? It seems he 
hath great care to please his wife. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS	Why, mistress, sure my master is stark mad.
When I desired him to come home to dinner, 
He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold: 
''Tis dinner-time,' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he; 
'Your meat doth burn,' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he: 
'Will you come home?' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he. 
'Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?' 
'The pig,' quoth I, 'is burn'd;' 'My gold!' quoth he: 
'My mistress, sir' quoth I; 'Hang up thy mistress! 
I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!' 	
LUCIANA 	Quoth who? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Quoth my master: 
'I know,' quoth he, 'no house, no wife, no mistress.' 
So that my errand, due unto my tongue, 
I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders; 
For, in conclusion, he did beat me there. 	
ADRIANA 	Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Go back again, and be new beaten home? 
For God's sake, send some other messenger. 	
ADRIANA 	Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	And he will bless that cross with other beating: 
Between you I shall have a holy head. 	
ADRIANA 	Hence, prating peasant! fetch thy master home. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Am I so round with you as you with me, 
That like a football you do spurn me thus? 
You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither: 
If I last in this service, you must case me in leather. 	
	[Exit] 	
LUCIANA 	Fie, how impatience loureth in your face! 	
ADRIANA 	His company must do his minions grace, 
Whilst I at home starve for a merry look. 
Hath homely age the alluring beauty took 
From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it: 
Are my discourses dull? barren my wit? 
If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd, 
Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard: 
Do their gay vestments his affections bait? 
That's not my fault: he's master of my state: 
What ruins are in me that can be found, 
By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground 
Of my defeatures. My decayed fair 
A sunny look of his would soon repair. 	
LUCIANA 	Self-harming jealousy! fie, beat it hence! 	
ADRIANA 	Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense. 
I know his eye doth homage otherwhere, 
Or else what lets it but he would be here? 
Sister, you know he promised me a chain; 
Would that alone, alone he would detain, 
So he would keep fair quarter with his bed!  
Since that my beauty cannot please his eye, 
I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die. 	
LUCIANA 	How many fond fools serve mad jealousy! 	
	[Exeunt] 	

Scene II A public place.
	[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up 
Safe at the Centaur; and the heedful slave 
Is wander'd forth, in care to seek me out,
By computation and mine host's report. 
I could not speak with Dromio since at first 
I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes. 	
	[Enter DROMIO of Syracuse] 	
	How now sir! is your merry humour alter'd? 
As you love strokes, so jest with me again. 
You know no Centaur? you received no gold? 
Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner? 
My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad, 
That thus so madly thou didst answer me? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	What answer, sir? when spake I such a word? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Even now, even here, not half an hour since. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	I did not see you since you sent me hence, 
Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Villain, thou didst deny the gold's receipt, 
And told'st me of a mistress and a dinner; 
For which, I hope, thou felt'st I was displeased. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	I am glad to see you in this merry vein: 
What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell me. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Yea, dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth? 
Think'st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and that. 	
	[Beating him] 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Hold, sir, for God's sake! now your jest is earnest: 
Upon what bargain do you give it me? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Because that I familiarly sometimes 
Do use you for my fool and chat with you, 
Your sauciness will jest upon my love 
And make a common of my serious hours.  
If you will jest with me, know my aspect, 
And fashion your demeanor to my looks, 
Or I will beat this method in your sconce. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Sconce call you it? so you would leave battering, I 
had rather have it a head: an you use these blows 
long, I shall seek my wit in my shoulders. 
But, I pray, sir why am I beaten? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Dost thou not know? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Shall I tell you why? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Ay, sir, and wherefore; for they say every why hath 
a wherefore. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Why, first,--for flouting me; and then, wherefore-- 
For urging it the second time to me. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season, 
When in the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme 
nor reason? 
Well, sir, I thank you. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Thank me, sir, for what? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	I'll make you amends next, to give you nothing for 
something. But say, sir, is it dinner-time? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	No, sir; I think the meat wants that I have. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	In good time, sir; what's that? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Basting. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Well, sir, then 'twill be dry. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	If it be, sir, I pray you, eat none of it. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Your reason? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Lest it make you choleric and purchase me another 
dry basting. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Well, sir, learn to jest in good time: there's a time for all things. But, soft! Who wafts us yonder?	
	[Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA] 	
ADRIANA 	Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown: 
Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects; 
I am not Adriana nor thy wife. 
The time was once when thou unurged wouldst vow 
That never words were music to thine ear, 
That never object pleasing in thine eye, 
That never touch well welcome to thy hand, 
That never meat sweet-savor'd in thy taste, 
Unless I spake, or look'd, or touch'd, or carved to thee. 
How comes it now, my husband, O, how comes it, 
That thou art thus estranged from thyself? 
Thyself I call it, being strange to me, 
That, undividable, incorporate, 
Am better than thy dear self's better part. 
Ah, do not tear away thyself from me! 
For know, my love, as easy mayest thou fall 
A drop of water in the breaking gulf, 
And take unmingled that same drop again, 
Without addition or diminishing, 
As take from me thyself and not me too. 
How dearly would it touch me to the quick, 
Shouldst thou but hear I were licentious 
And that this body, consecrate to thee, 
By ruffian lust should be contaminate! 
Wouldst thou not spit at me and spurn at me 
And hurl the name of husband in my face 
And tear the stain'd skin off my harlot-brow 
And from my false hand cut the wedding-ring 
And break it with a deep-divorcing vow? 
I know thou canst; and therefore see thou do it. 
I am possess'd with an adulterate blot; 
My blood is mingled with the crime of lust: 
For if we too be one and thou play false, 
I do digest the poison of thy flesh, 
Being strumpeted by thy contagion. 
Keep then far league and truce with thy true bed; 
I live unstain'd, thou undishonoured. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not: 
In Ephesus I am but two hours old, 
As strange unto your town as to your talk; 
Who, every word by all my wit being scann'd, 
Want wit in all one word to understand. 	
LUCIANA 	Fie, brother! how the world is changed with you! 
When were you wont to use my sister thus? 
She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	By Dromio? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	By me? 	
ADRIANA 	By thee; and this thou didst return from him, 
That he did buffet thee, and, in his blows, 
Denied my house for his, me for his wife. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Did you converse, sir, with this gentlewoman?  	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	I, sir? I never saw her till this time. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Villain, thou liest; for even her very words 
Didst thou deliver to me on the mart. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	I never spake with her in all my life. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	How can she thus then call us by our names, 
Unless it be by inspiration. 	
ADRIANA 	How ill agrees it with your gravity 
To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave, 
Abetting him to thwart me in my mood!  
Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine: 
Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine, 
Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state, 
Makes me with thy strength to communicate: 
If aught possess thee from me, it is dross, 
Usurping ivy, brier, or idle moss; 
Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion 
Infect thy sap and live on thy confusion. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme: 
What, was I married to her in my dream? 
Or sleep I now and think I hear all this? 
What error drives our eyes and ears amiss? 
Until I know this sure uncertainty, 
I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy. 	
LUCIANA 	Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner. 
This is the fairy land: O spite of spites! 
We talk with goblins, owls and sprites: 
If we obey them not, this will ensue, 
They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue. 	
LUCIANA 	Why pratest thou to thyself and answer'st not? 
Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot! 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	I am transformed, master, am I not? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	I think thou art in mind, and so am I. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Thou hast thine own form. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	No, I am an ape. 	
LUCIANA 	If thou art changed to aught, 'tis to an ass. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	'Tis true; she rides me and I long for grass. 
'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be 
But I should know her as well as she knows me. 	
ADRIANA 	Come, sir, to dinner. Dromio, keep the gate. 
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day 
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks. 
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master, 
Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter. 
Come, sister. Dromio, play the porter well. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell? 
Sleeping or waking? mad or well-advised? 
Known unto these, and to myself disguised! 
I'll say as they say and persever so, 
And in this mist at all adventures go. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Master, shall I be porter at the gate? 	
ADRIANA 	Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate. 	
LUCIANA 	Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late. 	
	[Exeunt] 	

Act III
Scene I Before the house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.
	[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all; 
My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours: 
Say that I lingered with you at your shop 
To see the making of her golden chain, 
And that to-morrow you will bring it home. 
But here's a villain that would face me down 
He met me on the mart, and that I beat him, 
And charged him with a thousand marks in gold, 
And that I did deny my wife and house. 
Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know; 
That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show: 
If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink, 
Your own handwriting would tell you what I think. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	I think thou art an ass. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Marry, so it doth appear 
By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear. 
I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that pass, 
You would keep from my heels and beware of an ass. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	You're sad, Signior Balthazar: pray God our cheer 
May answer my good will and your good welcome here. 	
BALTHAZAR 	I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your 
welcome dear. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	O, Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish, 
A table full of welcome make scarce one dainty dish. 	
BALTHAZAR 	Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words. 	
BALTHAZAR 	Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest: 
But though my cates be mean, take them in good part; 
Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart. 
But, soft! my door is lock'd. Go bid them let us in. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicel, Gillian, Ginn! 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	[Within] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, 
idiot, patch! 
Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch. 
Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st 
for such store, 
When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	What patch is made our porter? My master stays in 
the street. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	[Within] Let him walk from whence he came, lest he 
catch cold on's feet. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Who talks within there? ho, open the door! 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	[Within] Right, sir; I'll tell you when, an you tell 
me wherefore. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Wherefore? for my dinner: I have not dined to-day. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	[Within] Nor to-day here you must not; come again 
when you may. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	What art thou that keepest me out from the house I owe? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	[Within] The porter for this time, sir, and my name 
is Dromio. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	O villain! thou hast stolen both mine office and my name. 
The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame. 
If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place, 
Thou wouldst have changed thy face for a name or thy 
name for an ass. 	
LUCE 	[Within] What a coil is there, Dromio? who are those 
at the gate? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Let my master in, Luce. 	
LUCE 	[Within] Faith, no; he comes too late; 
And so tell your master. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	O Lord, I must laugh! 
Have at you with a proverb--Shall I set in my staff? 	
LUCE 	[Within] Have at you with another; that's--When? 
can you tell? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	[Within] If thy name be call'd Luce--Luce, thou hast 
answered him well. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, I hope? 	
LUCE 	[Within] I thought to have asked you. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	[Within] And you said no. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	So, come, help: well struck! there was blow for blow. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Thou baggage, let me in. 	
LUCE 	[Within] Can you tell for whose sake? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Master, knock the door hard. 	
LUCE 	[Within] Let him knock till it ache. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down. 	
LUCE 	[Within] What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town? 	
ADRIANA 	[Within] Who is that at the door that keeps all 
this noise? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	[Within] By my troth, your town is troubled with 
unruly boys. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Are you there, wife? you might have come before. 	
ADRIANA 	[Within] Your wife, sir knave! go get you from the door. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	If you went in pain, master, this 'knave' would go sore. 	
ANGELO 	Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome: we would 
fain have either. 	
BALTHAZAR 	In debating which was best, we shall part with neither. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	You would say so, master, if your garments were thin. 
Your cake there is warm within; you stand here in the cold: 
It would make a man mad as a buck, to be so bought and sold. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Go fetch me something: I'll break ope the gate. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	[Within] Break any breaking here, and I'll break your 
knave's pate. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	A man may break a word with you, sir, and words are but wind, 
Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	[Within] It seems thou want'st breaking: out upon 
thee, hind! 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Here's too much 'out upon thee!' I pray thee, 
let me in. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	[Within] Ay, when fowls have no feathers and fish have no fin. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Well, I'll break in: go borrow me a crow. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	A crow without feather? Master, mean you so? 
For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a feather; 
If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow together. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Go get thee gone; fetch me an iron crow. 	
BALTHAZAR 	Have patience, sir; O, let it not be so! 
Herein you war against your reputation 
And draw within the compass of suspect 
The unviolated honour of your wife. 
Once this,--your long experience of her wisdom, 
Her sober virtue, years and modesty, 
Plead on her part some cause to you unknown: 
And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse 
Why at this time the doors are made against you. 
Be ruled by me: depart in patience, 
And let us to the Tiger all to dinner, 
And about evening come yourself alone 
To know the reason of this strange restraint. 
If by strong hand you offer to break in 
Now in the stirring passage of the day, 
A vulgar comment will be made of it, 
And that supposed by the common rout 
Against your yet ungalled estimation 
That may with foul intrusion enter in 
And dwell upon your grave when you are dead; 
For slander lives upon succession, 
For ever housed where it gets possession. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	You have prevailed: I will depart in quiet, 
And, in despite of mirth, mean to be merry. 
I know a wench of excellent discourse, 
Pretty and witty; wild, and yet, too, gentle: 
There will we dine. This woman that I mean, 
My wife--but, I protest, without desert-- 
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal: 
To her will we to dinner. 	
	[To Angelo] 	
	Get you home 
And fetch the chain; by this I know 'tis made: 
Bring it, I pray you, to the Porpentine; 
For there's the house: that chain will I bestow-- 
Be it for nothing but to spite my wife-- 
Upon mine hostess there: good sir, make haste. 
Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me, 
I'll knock elsewhere, to see if they'll disdain me. 	
ANGELO 	I'll meet you at that place some hour hence. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Do so. This jest shall cost me some expense. 	
	[Exeunt] 	

Scene II The same.
	[Enter LUCIANA and ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse] 	
LUCIANA 	And may it be that you have quite forgot 
A husband's office? shall, Antipholus. 
Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot? 
Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous? 
If you did wed my sister for her wealth, 
Then for her wealth's sake use her with more kindness: 
Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth; 
Muffle your false love with some show of blindness: 
Let not my sister read it in your eye; 
Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator; 
Look sweet, be fair, become disloyalty; 
Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger; 
Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted; 
Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint; 
Be secret-false: what need she be acquainted? 
What simple thief brags of his own attaint? 
Alas, poor women! make us but believe, 
Being compact of credit, that you love us; 
Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve; 
We in your motion turn and you may move us. 
Then, gentle brother, get you in again; 
Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife: 
'Tis holy sport to be a little vain, 
When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Sweet mistress--what your name is else, I know not, 
Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine,-- 
Less in your knowledge and your grace you show not 
Than our earth's wonder, more than earth divine. 
Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak; 
Lay open to my earthy-gross conceit, 
Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak, 
The folded meaning of your words' deceit. 
Against my soul's pure truth why labour you 
To make it wander in an unknown field? 
Are you a god? would you create me new? 
Transform me then, and to your power I'll yield. 
But if that I am I, then well I know 
Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, 
Nor to her bed no homage do I owe 
Far more, far more to you do I decline. 
O, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note, 
To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears: 
Sing, siren, for thyself and I will dote: 
Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs, 
And as a bed I'll take them and there lie, 
And in that glorious supposition think 
He gains by death that hath such means to die: 
Let Love, being light, be drowned if she sink! 	
LUCIANA 	What, are you mad, that you do reason so? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Not mad, but mated; how, I do not know. 	
LUCIANA 	It is a fault that springeth from your eye. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by. 	
LUCIANA 	Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night. 	
LUCIANA 	Why call you me love? call my sister so. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Thy sister's sister. 	
LUCIANA 	That's my sister. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	No; 
It is thyself, mine own self's better part, 
Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart, 
My food, my fortune and my sweet hope's aim, 
My sole earth's heaven and my heaven's claim. 	
LUCIANA 	All this my sister is, or else should be. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Call thyself sister, sweet, for I am thee. 
Thee will I love and with thee lead my life: 
Thou hast no husband yet nor I no wife. 
Give me thy hand. 	
LUCIANA 	O, soft, sir! hold you still: 
I'll fetch my sister, to get her good will. 	
	[Exit] 	
	[Enter DROMIO of Syracuse] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Why, how now, Dromio! where runn'st thou so fast? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Do you know me, sir? am I Dromio? am I your man? 
am I myself? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	I am an ass, I am a woman's man and besides myself. 	
ANTIPHOLUS 	What woman's man? and how besides thyself?	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; one 
that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	What claim lays she to thee? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Marry sir, such claim as you would lay to your 
horse; and she would have me as a beast: not that, I 
being a beast, she would have me; but that she, 
being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	What is she? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	A very reverent body; I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	How dost thou mean a fat marriage? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Marry, sir, she's the kitchen wench and all grease; 
and I know not what use to put her to but to make a 
lamp of her and run from her by her own light. I 
warrant, her rags and the tallow in them will burn a 
Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, 
she'll burn a week longer than the whole world. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	What complexion is she of? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing half so 
clean kept: for why, she sweats; a man may go over 
shoes in the grime of it. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	That's a fault that water will mend. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	No, sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	What's her name? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Nell, sir; but her name and three quarters, that's 
an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from 
hip to hip. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Then she bears some breadth? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip: 
she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out 
countries in her. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	In what part of her body stands Ireland? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Marry, in her buttocks: I found it out by the bogs. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Where Scotland? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	I found it by the barrenness; hard in the palm of the hand. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Where France? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	In her forehead; armed and reverted, making war 
against her heir. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Where England? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no 
whiteness in them; but I guess it stood in her chin, 
by the salt rheum that ran between France and it. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Where Spain? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it hot in her breath. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Where America, the Indies? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Oh, sir, upon her nose all o'er embellished with 
rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich 
aspect to the hot breath of Spain. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Oh, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this 
drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me, call'd me 
Dromio; swore I was assured to her; told me what 
privy marks I had about me, as, the mark of my 
shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my 
left arm, that I amazed ran from her as a witch. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Go hie thee presently, post to the road: 
An if the wind blow any way from shore, 
I will not harbour in this town to-night: 
If any bark put forth, come to the mart, 
Where I will walk till thou return to me. 
If every one knows us and we know none, 
'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack and be gone. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	As from a bear a man would run for life, 
So fly I from her that would be my wife. 	
	[Exit] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	There's none but witches do inhabit here; 
And therefore 'tis high time that I were hence. 
She that doth call me husband, even my soul 
Doth for a wife abhor. But her fair sister, 
Possess'd with such a gentle sovereign grace, 
Of such enchanting presence and discourse, 
Hath almost made me traitor to myself: 
But, lest myself be guilty to self-wrong, 
I'll stop mine ears against the mermaid's song. 	
	[Enter ANGELO with the chain] 	
ANGELO 	Master Antipholus,-- 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Ay, that's my name. 	
ANGELO 	I know it well, sir, lo, here is the chain. 
I thought to have ta'en you at the Porpentine: 
The chain unfinish'd made me stay thus long. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	What is your will that I shall do with this? 	
ANGELO 	What please yourself, sir: I have made it for you. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not. 	
ANGELO 	Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have. 
Go home with it and please your wife withal; 
And soon at supper-time I'll visit you 
And then receive my money for the chain. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	I pray you, sir, receive the money now, 
For fear you ne'er see chain nor money more. 	
ANGELO 	You are a merry man, sir: fare you well. 	
	[Exit] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	What I should think of this, I cannot tell: 
But this I think, there's no man is so vain 
That would refuse so fair an offer'd chain. 
I see a man here needs not live by shifts, 
When in the streets he meets such golden gifts. 
I'll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay 
If any ship put out, then straight away. 	
	[Exit] 	

Act IV
Scene I A public place.
	[Enter Second Merchant, ANGELO, and an Officer] 	
Second Merchant 	You know since Pentecost the sum is due, 
And since I have not much importuned you; 
Nor now I had not, but that I am bound 
To Persia, and want guilders for my voyage: 
Therefore make present satisfaction, 
Or I'll attach you by this officer. 	
ANGELO 	Even just the sum that I do owe to you 
Is growing to me by Antipholus, 
And in the instant that I met with you 
He had of me a chain: at five o'clock 
I shall receive the money for the same. 
Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house, 
I will discharge my bond and thank you too. 	
	[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and DROMIO of Ephesus from the Courtesan's] 	
Officer 	That labour may you save: see where he comes. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou 
And buy a rope's end: that will I bestow 
Among my wife and her confederates, 
For locking me out of my doors by day. 
But, soft! I see the goldsmith. Get thee gone; 
Buy thou a rope and bring it home to me. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	I buy a thousand pound a year: I buy a rope. 	
	[Exit] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	A man is well holp up that trusts to you: 
I promised your presence and the chain; 
But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me. 
Belike you thought our love would last too long, 
If it were chain'd together, and therefore came not. 	
ANGELO 	Saving your merry humour, here's the note 
How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat, 
The fineness of the gold and chargeful fashion. 
Which doth amount to three odd ducats more 
Than I stand debted to this gentleman: 
I pray you, see him presently discharged, 
For he is bound to sea and stays but for it. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	I am not furnish'd with the present money; 
Besides, I have some business in the town. 
Good signior, take the stranger to my house 
And with you take the chain and bid my wife 
Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof: 
Perchance I will be there as soon as you. 	
ANGELO 	Then you will bring the chain to her yourself? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	No; bear it with you, lest I come not time enough. 	
ANGELO 	Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain about you? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	An if I have not, sir, I hope you have; 
Or else you may return without your money. 	
ANGELO 	Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain: 
Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman, 
And I, to blame, have held him here too long. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Good Lord! you use this dalliance to excuse 
Your breach of promise to the Porpentine. 
I should have chid you for not bringing it, 
But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl. 	
Second Merchant 	The hour steals on; I pray you, sir, dispatch. 	
ANGELO 	You hear how he importunes me;--the chain! 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Why, give it to my wife and fetch your money. 	
ANGELO 	Come, come, you know I gave it you even now. 
Either send the chain or send me by some token. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Fie, now you run this humour out of breath, 
where's the chain? I pray you, let me see it. 	
Second Merchant 	My business cannot brook this dalliance. 
Good sir, say whether you'll answer me or no: 
If not, I'll leave him to the officer. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	I answer you! what should I answer you? 	
ANGELO 	The money that you owe me for the chain. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	I owe you none till I receive the chain. 	
ANGELO 	You know I gave it you half an hour since. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	You gave me none: you wrong me much to say so. 	
ANGELO 	You wrong me more, sir, in denying it: 
Consider how it stands upon my credit. 	
Second Merchant 	Well, officer, arrest him at my suit. 	
Officer 	I do; and charge you in the duke's name to obey me. 	
ANGELO 	This touches me in reputation. 
Either consent to pay this sum for me 
Or I attach you by this officer. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Consent to pay thee that I never had! 
Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou darest. 	
ANGELO 	Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer, 
I would not spare my brother in this case, 
If he should scorn me so apparently. 	
Officer 	I do arrest you, sir: you hear the suit. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	I do obey thee till I give thee bail. 
But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear 
As all the metal in your shop will answer. 	
ANGELO 	Sir, sir, I will have law in Ephesus, 
To your notorious shame; I doubt it not. 	
	[Enter DROMIO of Syracuse, from the bay] 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Master, there is a bark of Epidamnum 
That stays but till her owner comes aboard, 
And then, sir, she bears away. Our fraughtage, sir, 
I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought 
The oil, the balsamum and aqua-vitae. 
The ship is in her trim; the merry wind 
Blows fair from land: they stay for nought at all 
But for their owner, master, and yourself. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	How now! a madman! Why, thou peevish sheep, 
What ship of Epidamnum stays for me? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope; 
And told thee to what purpose and what end. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	You sent me for a rope's end as soon: 
You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	I will debate this matter at more leisure 
And teach your ears to list me with more heed. 
To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight: 
Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk 
That's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry, 
There is a purse of ducats; let her send it: 
Tell her I am arrested in the street 
And that shall bail me; hie thee, slave, be gone! 
On, officer, to prison till it come. 	
	[Exeunt Second Merchant, Angelo, Officer, and 
Antipholus of Ephesus] 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	To Adriana! that is where we dined, 
Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband: 
She is too big, I hope, for me to compass. 
Thither I must, although against my will, 
For servants must their masters' minds fulfil. 	
	[Exit] 	

Scene II The house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.
	[Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA] 	
ADRIANA 	Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so? 
Mightst thou perceive austerely in his eye 
That he did plead in earnest? yea or no? 
Look'd he or red or pale, or sad or merrily? 
What observation madest thou in this case 
Of his heart's meteors tilting in his face? 	
LUCIANA 	First he denied you had in him no right. 	
ADRIANA 	He meant he did me none; the more my spite. 	
LUCIANA 	Then swore he that he was a stranger here. 	
ADRIANA 	And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were. 	
LUCIANA 	Then pleaded I for you. 	
ADRIANA 	And what said he? 	
LUCIANA 	That love I begg'd for you he begg'd of me. 	
ADRIANA 	With what persuasion did he tempt thy love? 	
LUCIANA 	With words that in an honest suit might move. 
First he did praise my beauty, then my speech. 	
ADRIANA 	Didst speak him fair? 	
LUCIANA 	Have patience, I beseech. 	
ADRIANA 	I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still; 
My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will. 
He is deformed, crooked, old and sere, 
Ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere; 
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; 
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind. 	
LUCIANA 	Who would be jealous then of such a one? 
No evil lost is wail'd when it is gone. 	
ADRIANA 	Ah, but I think him better than I say, 
And yet would herein others' eyes were worse. 
Far from her nest the lapwing cries away: 
My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse. 	
	[Enter DROMIO of Syracuse] 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Here! go; the desk, the purse! sweet, now, make haste. 	
LUCIANA 	How hast thou lost thy breath? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	By running fast. 	
ADRIANA 	Where is thy master, Dromio? is he well? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	No, he's in Tartar limbo, worse than hell. 
A devil hath him; one that countermands 
The passages of creeks and narrow lands; 
A hound that runs counter, yet draws dryfoot well; 
One that before judgement carries poor souls to hell. 	
ADRIANA 	Why, man, what is the matter? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	I do not know the matter: he is 'rested on the case. 	
ADRIANA 	What, is he arrested? Tell me at whose suit. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	I know not at whose suit he is arrested well; 
But he's in a suit of buff which 'rested him, that can I tell. 
Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in his desk? 	
ADRIANA 	Go fetch it, sister. 	
	[Exit Luciana] 	
	This I wonder at, 
That he, unknown to me, should be in debt. 
Tell me, was he arrested on a band? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Not on a band, but on a stronger thing; 
A chain, a chain! Do you not hear it ring? 	
ADRIANA 	What, the chain? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	No, no, the bell: 'tis time that I were gone: 
It was two ere I left him, and now the clock 
strikes one. 	
ADRIANA 	The hours come back! that did I never hear. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	O, yes; if any hour meet a sergeant, a' turns back for 
very fear. 	
ADRIANA 	As if Time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason! 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he's 
worth, to season. 
Nay, he's a thief too: have you not heard men say 
That Time comes stealing on by night and day? 
If Time be in debt and theft, and a sergeant in the way, 
Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day? 	
	[Re-enter LUCIANA with a purse] 	
ADRIANA 	Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it straight; 
And bring thy master home immediately. 
Come, sister: I am press'd down with conceit-- 
Conceit, my comfort and my injury. 	
	[Exeunt] 	

Scene III A public place.
	[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	There's not a man I meet but doth salute me 
As if I were their well-acquainted friend; 
And every one doth call me by my name. 
Some tender money to me; some invite me; 
Some other give me thanks for kindnesses; 
Some offer me commodities to buy: 
Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop 
And show'd me silks that he had bought for me, 
And therewithal took measure of my body. 
Sure, these are but imaginary wiles 
And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here. 	
	[Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Master, here's the gold you sent me for. What, have 
you got the picture of old Adam new-apparelled? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	What gold is this? what Adam dost thou mean? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Not that Adam that kept the Paradise but that Adam 
that keeps the prison: he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	I understand thee not. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	No? why, the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob and 'rests them; he that brings any man to answer it that breaks his band; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men and gives them suits of durance.	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	What, thou meanest an officer? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band, one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, 'God give you good rest!' 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any 
ship puts forth tonight?   May we be gone?	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the 
bark Expedition put forth to-night; and then were 
you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy 
Delay. Here are the angels that you sent for to 
deliver you. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	The fellow is distract, and so am I; 
And here we wander in illusions: 
Some blessed power deliver us from hence! 	
	[Enter a Courtesan] 	
Courtesan 	Well met, well met, Master Antipholus. 
I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now: 
Is that the chain you promised me to-day? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Master, is this Mistress Satan? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	It is the devil. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here 
she comes in the habit of a light wench: and thereof 
comes that the wenches say 'God damn me'; that's as 
much to say 'God make me a light wench.' It is 
written, they appear to men like angels of light: 
light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; 
ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her. 	
Courtesan 	Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir. 
Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat; or bespeak a 
long spoon. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Why, Dromio? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with 
the devil. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me of supping? 
Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress: 
I conjure thee to leave me and be gone. 	
Courtesan 	Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner, 
Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised, 
And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Some devils ask but the parings of one's nail, 
A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, 
A nut, a cherry-stone; 
But she, more covetous, would have a chain. 
Master, be wise: an if you give it her, 
The devil will shake her chain and fright us with it. 	
Courtesan 	I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain: 
I hope you do not mean to cheat me so. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	'Fly pride,' says the peacock: mistress, that you know. 	
	[Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse] 	
Courtesan 	Now, out of doubt Antipholus is mad, 
Else would he never so demean himself. 
A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats, 
And for the same he promised me a chain: 
Both one and other he denies me now. 
The reason that I gather he is mad, 
Besides this present instance of his rage, 
Is a mad tale he told to-day at dinner, 
Of his own doors being shut against his entrance. 
Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits, 
On purpose shut the doors against his way. 
My way is now to hie home to his house, 
And tell his wife that, being lunatic, 
He rush'd into my house and took perforce 
My ring away. This course I fittest choose; 
For forty ducats is too much to lose. 	
	[Exit] 	

Scene IV A street.
	[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and the Officer] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Fear me not, man; I will not break away: 
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money, 
To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for. 
My wife is in a wayward mood to-day, 
And will not lightly trust the messenger.
That I should be attach'd in Ephesus, 
I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears. 	
	[Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope's-end] 	
	Here comes my man; I think he brings the money. 
How now, sir! have you that I sent you for? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	But where's the money? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	To what end did I bid thee hie thee home? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	To a rope's-end, sir; and to that end am I returned. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	And to that end, sir, I will welcome you. 	
	[Beating him] 	
Officer 	Good sir, be patient. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity. 	
Officer 	Good, now, hold thy tongue. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Thou whoreson, senseless villain! 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel 
your blows. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS	Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an 
ass. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long 
ears. I have served him from the hour of my 
nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his 
hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he 
heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me 
with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep; 
raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with 
it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when 
I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a 
beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath 
lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder. 	
	[Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the Courtesan, and PINCH] 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end; or 
rather, the prophecy like the parrot, 'beware the 
rope's-end.' 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Wilt thou still talk? 	
	[Beating him] 	
Courtesan 	How say you now? is not your husband mad? 	
ADRIANA 	His incivility confirms no less. 
Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer; 
Establish him in his true sense again, 
And I will please you what you will demand. 	
LUCIANA 	Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks! 	
Courtesan 	Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy! 	
PINCH 	Give me your hand and let me feel your pulse. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	There is my hand, and let it feel your ear. 	
	[Striking him] 	
PINCH 	I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man, 
To yield possession to my holy prayers 
And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight: 
I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven! 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad. 	
ADRIANA 	O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul! 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	You minion, you, are these your customers? 
Did this companion with the saffron face 
Revel and feast it at my house to-day, 
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut 
And I denied to enter in my house? 	
ADRIANA 	O husband, God doth know you dined at home; 
Where would you had remain'd until this time, 
Free from these slanders and this open shame! 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Dined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut out? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Perdie, your doors were lock'd and you shut out. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	And did not she herself revile me there? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Sans fable, she herself reviled you there. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	And did not I in rage depart from thence? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	In verity you did; my bones bear witness, 
That since have felt the vigour of his rage. 	
ADRIANA 	Is't good to soothe him in these contraries? 	
PINCH 	It is no shame: the fellow finds his vein, 
And yielding to him humours well his frenzy. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me. 	
ADRIANA 	Alas, I sent you money to redeem you, 
By Dromio here, who came in haste for it. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Money by me! heart and goodwill you might; 
But surely master, not a rag of money. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats? 	
ADRIANA 	He came to me and I deliver'd it. 	
LUCIANA 	And I am witness with her that she did. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	God and the rope-maker bear me witness 
That I was sent for nothing but a rope! 	
PINCH 	Mistress, both man and master is possess'd; 
I know it by their pale and deadly looks: 
They must be bound and laid in some dark room. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day? 
And why dost thou deny the bag of gold? 	
ADRIANA 	I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	And, gentle master, I received no gold; 
But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out. 	
ADRIANA 	Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all; 
And art confederate with a damned pack 
To make a loathsome abject scorn of me: 
But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes 
That would behold in me this shameful sport. 	
	[Enter three or four, and offer to bind him. He strives] 	
ADRIANA 	O, bind him, bind him! let him not come near me. 	
PINCH 	More company! The fiend is strong within him. 	
LUCIANA 	Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks! 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	What, will you murder me? Thou jailer, thou, 
I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them 
To make a rescue? 	
Officer 	Masters, let him go 
He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him. 	
PINCH 	Go bind this man, for he is frantic too. 	
	[They offer to bind Dromio of Ephesus] 	
ADRIANA 	What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer? 
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man 
Do outrage and displeasure to himself? 	
Officer 	He is my prisoner: if I let him go, 
The debt he owes will be required of me. 	
ADRIANA 	I will discharge thee ere I go from thee: 
Bear me forthwith unto his creditor, 
And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it. 
Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd 
Home to my house. O most unhappy day! 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	O most unhappy strumpet! 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Master, I am here entered in bond for you. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master: 
cry 'The devil!' 	
LUCIANA 	God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk! 	
ADRIANA 	Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me. 	
	[Exeunt all but Adriana, Luciana, Officer and 
Courtesan] 	
	Say now, whose suit is he arrested at? 	
Officer 	One Angelo, a goldsmith: do you know him? 	
ADRIANA 	I know the man. What is the sum he owes? 	
Officer 	Two hundred ducats. 	
ADRIANA 	Say, how grows it due? 	
Officer 	Due for a chain your husband had of him. 	
ADRIANA 	He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not. 	
Courtesan 	When as your husband all in rage to-day 
Came to my house and took away my ring-- 
The ring I saw upon his finger now-- 
Straight after did I meet him with a chain. 	
ADRIANA 	It may be so, but I did never see it. 
Come, jailer, bring me where the goldsmith is: 
I long to know the truth hereof at large. 	
	[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse with his rapier drawn, and DROMIO of Syracuse] 	
LUCIANA 	God, for thy mercy! they are loose again. 	
ADRIANA 	And come with naked swords. 
Let's call more help to have them bound again. 	
Officer 	Away! they'll kill us. 	
	[Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio 
of Syracuse] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	I see these witches are afraid of swords. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	She that would be your wife now ran from you. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence: 
I long that we were safe and sound aboard. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us 
no harm: you saw they speak us fair, give us gold: 
methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for 
the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of 
me, I could find in my heart to stay here still and 
turn witch. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	I will not stay to-night for all the town; 
Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard. 	
	[Exeunt] 	

Act V
Scene I A street before a Priory.
	[Enter Second Merchant and ANGELO] 	
ANGELO 	I am sorry, sir, that I have hinder'd you; 
But, I protest, he had the chain of me, 
Though most dishonestly he doth deny it. 	
Second Merchant 	How is the man esteemed here in the city? 	
ANGELO 	Of very reverend reputation, sir, 
Of credit infinite, highly beloved, 
Second to none that lives here in the city: 
His word might bear my wealth at any time. 	
Second Merchant 	Speak softly; yonder, as I think, he walks. 	
	[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse and DROMIO of Syracuse] 	
ANGELO 	'Tis so; and that self chain about his neck 
Which he forswore most monstrously to have. 
Good sir, draw near to me, I'll speak to him. 
Signior Antipholus, I wonder much 
That you would put me to this shame and trouble; 
And, not without some scandal to yourself, 
With circumstance and oaths so to deny 
This chain which now you wear so openly: 
Beside the charge, the shame, imprisonment, 
You have done wrong to this my honest friend, 
Who, but for staying on our controversy, 
Had hoisted sail and put to sea to-day: 
This chain you had of me; can you deny it? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	I think I had; I never did deny it. 	
Second Merchant 	Yes, that you did, sir, and forswore it too. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Who heard me to deny it or forswear it? 	
Second Merchant 	These ears of mine, thou know'st did hear thee. 
Fie on thee, wretch! 'tis pity that thou livest 
To walk where any honest man resort. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Thou art a villain to impeach me thus: 
I'll prove mine honour and mine honesty 
Against thee presently, if thou darest stand. 	
Second Merchant 	I dare, and do defy thee for a villain. 	
	[They draw] 	
	[Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the Courtesan, and others] 	
ADRIANA 	Hold, hurt him not, for God's sake! he is mad. 
Some get within him, take his sword away: 
Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house. 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Run, master, run; for God's sake, take a house! 
This is some priory. In, or we are spoil'd! 	
	[Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse to the Priory] 	
	[Enter the Lady Abbess, AEMILIA] 	
EMELIA 	Be quiet, people. Wherefore throng you hither? 	
ADRIANA 	To fetch my poor distracted husband hence. 
Let us come in, that we may bind him fast 
And bear him home for his recovery. 	
ANGELO 	I knew he was not in his perfect wits. 	
Second Merchant 	I am sorry now that I did draw on him. 	
EMELIA 	How long hath this possession held the man? 	
ADRIANA 	This week he hath been heavy, sour, sad, 
And much different from the man he was; 
But till this afternoon his passion 
Ne'er brake into extremity of rage. 	
EMELIA 	Hath he not lost much wealth by wreck of sea? 
Buried some dear friend? Hath not else his eye 
Stray'd his affection in unlawful love? 
A sin prevailing much in youthful men, 
Who give their eyes the liberty of gazing. 
Which of these sorrows is he subject to? 	
ADRIANA 	To none of these, except it be the last; 
Namely, some love that drew him oft from home. 	
EMELIA 	You should for that have reprehended him. 	
ADRIANA 	Why, so I did. 	
EMELIA 	Ay, but not rough enough. 	
ADRIANA 	As roughly as my modesty would let me. 	
EMELIA 	Haply, in private. 	
ADRIANA 	And in assemblies too. 	
EMELIA 	Ay, but not enough. 	
ADRIANA 	It was the copy of our conference: 
In bed he slept not for my urging it; 
At board he fed not for my urging it; 
Alone, it was the subject of my theme; 
In company I often glanced it; 
Still did I tell him it was vile and bad. 	
EMELIA 	And thereof came it that the man was mad. 
The venom clamours of a jealous woman 
Poisons more deadly than a mad dog's tooth. 
It seems his sleeps were hinder'd by thy railing, 
And therefore comes it that his head is light. 
Thou say'st his meat was sauced with thy upbraidings: 
Unquiet meals make ill digestions; 
Thereof the raging fire of fever bred; 
And what's a fever but a fit of madness? 
Thou say'st his sports were hinderd by thy brawls: 
Sweet recreation barr'd, what doth ensue 
But moody and dull melancholy, 
Kinsman to grim and comfortless despair, 
And at her heels a huge infectious troop 
Of pale distemperatures and foes to life? 
In food, in sport and life-preserving rest 
To be disturb'd, would mad or man or beast: 
The consequence is then thy jealous fits 
Have scared thy husband from the use of wits. 	
LUCIANA 	She never reprehended him but mildly, 
When he demean'd himself rough, rude and wildly. 
Why bear you these rebukes and answer not? 	
ADRIANA 	She did betray me to my own reproof. 
Good people enter and lay hold on him. 	
EMELIA 	No, not a creature enters in my house. 	
ADRIANA 	Then let your servants bring my husband forth. 	
EMELIA 	Neither: he took this place for sanctuary, 
And it shall privilege him from your hands 
Till I have brought him to his wits again, 
Or lose my labour in assaying it. 	
ADRIANA 	I will attend my husband, be his nurse, 
Diet his sickness, for it is my office, 
And will have no attorney but myself; 
And therefore let me have him home with me. 	
EMELIA 	Be patient; for I will not let him stir 
Till I have used the approved means I have, 
With wholesome syrups, drugs and holy prayers, 
To make of him a formal man again: 
It is a branch and parcel of mine oath, 
A charitable duty of my order. 
Therefore depart and leave him here with me. 	
ADRIANA 	I will not hence and leave my husband here: 
And ill it doth beseem your holiness 
To separate the husband and the wife. 	
EMELIA 	Be quiet and depart: thou shalt not have him. 	
	[Exit] 	
LUCIANA 	Complain unto the duke of this indignity. 	
ADRIANA 	Come, go: I will fall prostrate at his feet 
And never rise until my tears and prayers 
Have won his grace to come in person hither 
And take perforce my husband from the abbess. 	
Second Merchant 	By this, I think, the dial points at five: 
Anon, I'm sure, the duke himself in person 
Comes this way to the melancholy vale, 
The place of death and sorry execution, 
Behind the ditches of the abbey here. 	
ANGELO 	Upon what cause? 	
Second Merchant 	To see a reverend Syracusian merchant, 
Who put unluckily into this bay 
Against the laws and statutes of this town, 
Beheaded publicly for his offence. 	
ANGELO 	See where they come: we will behold his death. 	
LUCIANA 	Kneel to the duke before he pass the abbey. 	
	[Enter DUKE SOLINUS, attended; EGEON bareheaded; with the Headsman and other Officers] 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Yet once again proclaim it publicly, 
If any friend will pay the sum for him, 
He shall not die; so much we tender him. 	
ADRIANA 	Justice, most sacred duke, against the abbess! 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	She is a virtuous and a reverend lady: 
It cannot be that she hath done thee wrong. 	
ADRIANA 	May it please your grace, Antipholus, my husband, 
Whom I made lord of me and all I had, 
At your important letters,--this ill day 
A most outrageous fit of madness took him; 
That desperately he hurried through the street, 
With him his bondman, all as mad as he-- 
Doing displeasure to the citizens 
By rushing in their houses, bearing thence 
Rings, jewels, any thing his rage did like. 
Once did I get him bound and sent him home, 
Whilst to take order for the wrongs I went, 
That here and there his fury had committed. 
Anon, I wot not by what strong escape, 
He broke from those that had the guard of him; 
And with his mad attendant and himself, 
Each one with ireful passion, with drawn swords, 
Met us again and madly bent on us, 
Chased us away; till, raising of more aid, 
We came again to bind them. Then they fled 
Into this abbey, whither we pursued them: 
And here the abbess shuts the gates on us 
And will not suffer us to fetch him out, 
Nor send him forth that we may bear him hence. 
Therefore, most gracious duke, with thy command 
Let him be brought forth and borne hence for help. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Long since thy husband served me in my wars, 
And I to thee engaged a prince's word, 
When thou didst make him master of thy bed, 
To do him all the grace and good I could. 
Go, some of you, knock at the abbey-gate 
And bid the lady abbess come to me. 
I will determine this before I stir. 	
	[Enter a Servant] 	
Servant 	O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself! 
My master and his man are both broke loose, 
Beaten the maids a-row and bound the doctor 
Whose beard they have singed off with brands of fire; 
And ever, as it blazed, they threw on him 
Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair: 
My master preaches patience to him and the while 
His man with scissors nicks him like a fool, 
And sure, unless you send some present help, 
Between them they will kill the conjurer. 	
ADRIANA 	Peace, fool! thy master and his man are here, 
And that is false thou dost report to us. 	
Servant 	Mistress, upon my life, I tell you true; 
I have not breathed almost since I did see it. 
He cries for you, and vows, if he can take you, 
To scorch your face and to disfigure you. 	
	[Cry within] 	
	Hark, hark! I hear him, mistress. fly, be gone! 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Come, stand by me; fear nothing. Guards! 	
ADRIANA 	Ay me, it is my husband! Witness you, 
That he is borne about invisible: 
Even now we housed him in the abbey here; 
And now he's there, past thought of human reason. 	
	[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and DROMIO of Ephesus] 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Justice, most gracious duke, O, grant me justice! 
Even for the service that long since I did thee, 
When I bestrid thee in the wars and took 
Deep scars to save thy life; even for the blood 
That then I lost for thee, now grant me justice. 	
EGEON 	Unless the fear of death doth make me dote, 
I see my son Antipholus and Dromio. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there! 
She whom thou gavest to me to be my wife, 
That hath abused and dishonour'd me 
Even in the strength and height of injury! 
Beyond imagination is the wrong 
That she this day hath shameless thrown on me. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Discover how, and thou shalt find me just. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me, 
While she with harlots feasted in my house. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	A grievous fault! Say, woman, didst thou so? 	
ADRIANA 	No, my good lord: myself, he and my sister 
To-day did dine together. So befall my soul 
As this is false he burdens me withal! 	
LUCIANA 	Ne'er may I look on day, nor sleep on night, 
But she tells to your highness simple truth! 	
ANGELO 	O perjured woman! They are both forsworn: 
In this the madman justly chargeth them. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	My liege, I am advised what I say, 
Neither disturbed with the effect of wine, 
Nor heady-rash, provoked with raging ire, 
Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad. 
This woman lock'd me out this day from dinner: 
That goldsmith there, were he not pack'd with her, 
Could witness it, for he was with me then; 
Who parted with me to go fetch a chain, 
Promising to bring it to the Porpentine, 
Where Balthazar and I did dine together. 
Our dinner done, and he not coming thither, 
I went to seek him: in the street I met him 
And in his company that gentleman. 
There did this perjured goldsmith swear me down 
That I this day of him received the chain, 
Which, God he knows, I saw not: for the which 
He did arrest me with an officer. 
I did obey, and sent my peasant home 
For certain ducats: he with none return'd 
Then fairly I bespoke the officer 
To go in person with me to my house. 
By the way we met 
My wife, her sister, and a rabble more 
Of vile confederates. Along with them 
They brought one Pinch, a hungry lean-faced villain, 
A fortune-teller and a mountebank,
A needy, hollow-eyed, sharp-looking wretch, 
A living dead man: this pernicious slave, 
Forsooth, took on him as a conjurer, 
And, gazing in mine eyes, feeling my pulse,  
Cries out, I was possess'd. Then all together 
They fell upon me, bound me, bore me thence 
And in a dark and dankish vault at home 
There left me and my man, both bound together; 
Till, gnawing with my teeth my bonds in sunder, 
I gain'd my freedom, and immediately 
Ran hither to your grace; whom I beseech 
To give me ample satisfaction 
For these deep shames and great indignities. 	
ANGELO 	My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him, 
That he dined not at home, but was lock'd out. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	But had he such a chain of thee or no? 	
ANGELO 	He had, my lord: and when he ran in here, 
These people saw the chain about his neck. 	
Second Merchant 	Besides, I will be sworn these ears of mine 
Heard you confess you had the chain of him 
After you first forswore it on the mart: 
And thereupon I drew my sword on you; 
And then you fled into this abbey here, 
From whence, I think, you are come by miracle. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	I never came within these abbey-walls, 
Nor ever didst thou draw thy sword on me: 
I never saw the chain, so help me Heaven! 
And this is false you burden me withal. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Why, what an intricate impeach is this! 
I think you all have drunk of Circe's cup. 
If here you housed him, here he would have been; 
If he were mad, he would not plead so coldly: 
You say he dined at home; the goldsmith here 
Denies that saying. Sirrah, what say you? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Sir, he dined with her there, at the Porpentine. 	
Courtesan 	He did, and from my finger snatch'd that ring. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	'Tis true, my liege; this ring I had of her. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Saw'st thou him enter at the abbey here? 	
Courtesan 	As sure, my liege, as I do see your grace. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Why, this is strange. Go call the abbess hither. 
I think you are all mated or stark mad. 	
	[Exit one to Abbess] 	
EGEON 	Most mighty duke, vouchsafe me speak a word: 
Haply I see a friend will save my life 
And pay the sum that may deliver me. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Speak freely, Syracusian, what thou wilt. 	
EGEON 	Is not your name, sir, call'd Antipholus? 
And is not that your bondman, Dromio? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Within this hour I was his bondman sir, 
But he, I thank him, gnaw'd in two my cords: 
Now am I Dromio and his man unbound. 	
EGEON 	I am sure you both of you remember me. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Ourselves we do remember, sir, by you; 
For lately we were bound, as you are now.
You are not Pinch's patient, are you, sir? 	
EGEON 	Why look you strange on me? you know me well. 	
ANTIPHOLUS 	I never saw you in my life till now. 	
EGEON 	O, grief hath changed me since you saw me last, 
And careful hours with time's deformed hand 
Have written strange defeatures in my face: 
But tell me yet, dost thou not know my voice? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Neither. 	
EGEON 	Dromio, nor thou? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	No, trust me, sir, nor I. 	
EGEON 	I am sure thou dost. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Ay, sir, but I am sure I do not; and whatsoever a 
man denies, you are now bound to believe him. 	
EGEON 	Not know my voice! O time's extremity, 
Hast thou so crack'd and splitted my poor tongue 
In seven short years, that here my only son 
Knows not my feeble key of untuned cares?  	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	I never saw my father in my life. 	
EGEON 	But seven years since, in Syracusa, boy, 
Thou know'st we parted: but perhaps, my son, 
Thou shamest to acknowledge me in misery. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	The duke and all that know me in the city 
Can witness with me that it is not so.
I ne'er saw Syracusa in my life. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	I tell thee, Syracusian, twenty years 
Have I been patron to Antipholus, 
During which time he ne'er saw Syracusa: 
I see thy age and dangers make thee dote. 	
	[Re-enter EMILIA, with ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse and DROMIO of Syracuse] 	
EMELIA 	Most mighty duke, behold a man much wrong'd. 	
	[All gather to see them] 	
ADRIANA 	I see two husbands, or mine eyes deceive me. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	One of these men is Genius to the other; 
And so of these. Which is the natural man, 
And which the spirit? who deciphers them? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	I, sir, am Dromio; command him away. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	I, sir, am Dromio; pray, let me stay. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Egeon art thou not? or else his ghost? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	O, my old master! who hath bound him here? 	
EMELIA 	Whoever bound him, I will loose his bonds 
And gain a husband by his liberty. 
Speak, old Egeon, if thou be'st the man 
That hadst a wife once call'd Emilia 
That bore thee at a burden two fair sons: 
O, if thou be'st the same Egeon, speak, 
And speak unto the same Emilia! 	
EGEON 	If I dream not, thou art Emilia: 
If thou art she, tell me where is that son 
That floated with thee on the fatal raft? 	
EMELIA 	By men of Epidamnum he and I 
And the twin Dromio all were taken up; 
But by and by rude fishermen of Corinth 
By force took Dromio and my son from them 
And me they left with those of Epidamnum. 
What then became of them I cannot tell 
I to this fortune that you see me in. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Why, here begins his morning story right; 
These two Antipholuses, these two so like, 
And these two Dromios, one in semblance,-- 
Besides her urging of her wreck at sea,--  
Antipholus, thou camest from Corinth first? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	No, sir, not I; I came from Syracuse. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	Stay, stand apart; I know not which is which. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	I came from Corinth, my most gracious lord -- 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	And I with him. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Brought to this town by that most famous warrior, 
Duke Menaphon, your most renowned uncle. 	
ADRIANA 	Which of you two did dine with me to-day? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	I, gentle mistress. 	
ADRIANA 	And are not you my husband? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	No; I say nay to that. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	And so do I; yet did she call me so: 
And this fair gentlewoman, her sister here, 
Did call me brother. 	
	[To Luciana] 	
	What I told you then, 
I hope I shall have leisure to make good; 
If this be not a dream I see and hear. 	
ANGELO 	That is the chain, sir, which you had of me. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	I think it be, sir; I deny it not. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	And you, sir, for this chain arrested me. 	
ANGELO 	I think I did, sir; I deny it not. 	
ADRIANA 	I sent you money, sir, to be your bail, 
By Dromio; but I think he brought it not. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	No, none by me. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	This purse of ducats I received from you, 
And Dromio, my man, did bring them me. 
I see we still did meet each other's man, 
And I was ta'en for him, and he for me, 
And thereupon these errors are arose. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	These ducats pawn I for my father here. 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	It shall not need; thy father hath his life. 	
Courtesan 	Sir, I must have that diamond from you. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	There, take it; and much thanks for my good cheer. 	
EMELIA 	Renowned duke, vouchsafe to take the pains 
To go with us into the abbey here 
And hear at large discoursed all our fortunes: 
And all that are assembled in this place, 
That by this sympathized one day's error 
Have suffer'd wrong, go keep us company, 
And we shall make full satisfaction. 
Twenty-five years have I gone in travail 
Of you, my sons; and till this present hour 
My heavy burden ne'er delivered. 
The duke, my husband and my children both, 
And you the calendars of their nativity, 
Go to a gossips' feast and go with me; 
After so long grief, such festivity! 	
DUKE SOLINUS 	With all my heart, I'll gossip at this feast. 	
	[Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse, Antipholus 
of Ephesus, Dromio of Syracuse and Dromio of Ephesus] 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Master, shall I fetch your stuff from shipboard? 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS 	Dromio, what stuff of mine hast thou embark'd? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Your goods that lay at host, sir, in the Centaur. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	He speaks to me. I am your master, Dromio: 
Come, go with us; we'll look to that anon: 
Embrace thy brother there; rejoice with him. 	
	[Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Antipholus of Ephesus] 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	There is a fat friend at your master's house, 
That kitchen'd me for you to-day at dinner: 
She now shall be my sister, not my wife. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Methinks you are my glass, and not my brother: 
I see by you I am a sweet-faced youth. 
Will you walk in to see their gossiping? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	Not I, sir; you are my elder. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	That's a question: how shall we try it? 	
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE 	We'll draw cuts for the senior: till then lead thou first. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Nay, then, thus: 
We came into the world like brother and brother; 
And now let's go hand in hand, not one before another. 	
	[Exeunt]