ANTIPHOLUS, DROMIO (1)

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	She that commends me to mine own content 
Commends me to the thing I cannot get. 
I to the world am like a drop of water 
That in the ocean seeks another drop, 
Who, falling there to find his fellow forth, 
Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself: 
So I, to find a mother and a brother, 
In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself. 	
	[Enter DROMIO of Ephesus] 	
	Here comes the almanac of my true date. 
What now? how chance thou art return'd so soon? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too late: 
The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit, 
The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell; 
My mistress made it one upon my cheek: 
She is so hot because the meat is cold; 
The meat is cold because you come not home; 
You come not home because you have no stomach; 
You have no stomach having broke your fast; 
But we that know what 'tis to fast and pray 
Are penitent for your default to-day. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Stop in your wind, sir: tell me this, I pray: 
Where have you left the money that I gave you? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	O,--sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last 
To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper? 
The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	I am not in a sportive humour now: 
Tell me, and dally not, where is the money? 
We being strangers here, how darest thou trust 
So great a charge from thine own custody? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	I pray you, air, as you sit at dinner:  
Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock, 
And strike you home without a messenger. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season; 
Reserve them till a merrier hour than this. 
Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	To me, sir? why, you gave no gold to me. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness, 
And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	My charge was but to fetch you from the mart 
Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner: 
My mistress and her sister stays for you. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	In what safe place you have bestow'd my money, 
Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours 
That stands on tricks when I am undisposed: 
Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	I have some marks of yours upon my pate, 
Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders, 
But not a thousand marks between you both. 
If I should pay your worship those again, 
Perchance you will not bear them patiently. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	Thy mistress' marks? what mistress, slave, hast thou? 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix; 
She that doth fast till you come home to dinner. 	
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE 	What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face, 
Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave. 	
DROMIO OF EPHESUS 	What mean you, sir? for God's sake, hold your hands! 
Nay, and you will not, sir, I'll take my heels.