Welcome to Sacred Fools Theater Company, est. 1997

THE UNLUCKY STIFF
written by Bill Robens
directed by JJ Mayes

Follow the adventures of glamorous and sophisticated
Steve and Delia Cartwright while they in no way
rip off the old "Thin Man" movies.

5 Episodes
Original Run: 4 Eps, 11/22/14 - 1/24/15
Playoffs Run: 1 Ep, 4/4/15

EPISODE ONE (11/22/14)

SUMMARY:  When a boxer is found dead, Detectives Stan, Phil and Dutch are having trouble solving the crime - or even having a conversation that doesn't ramble all over the place.  Barnaby the Cop thinks Benny did it, but it quickly becomes clear that Benny is innocent because he's blind.  Dashing Steve Cartwright can't believe what a hard time everyone is having with the case.  As Benny is released and stumbles all over the place, and the detectives argue whether risotto is a pasta or whether it's rice, classy Delia - Steve's wife - arrives, and she quickly makes some important deductions.

Photos by Marian Gonzalez

EPISODE TWO (12/6/14)

SUMMARY:  Our intrepid and not-so-intrepid investigators come across a filthy young urchin named Luka, who may have seen something important.  Luka is terrified to speak at first, but after a drink courtesy of Delia (and Steve's personal valet, Enrique, who serves everybody a round of martinis), Luka opens up and tells them of the terrible thing she saw.  Everybody is in tears at her story of a great leader stabbed in the back by his best friends, who had to put their ideals above friendship... until they realize that Luka was just telling the story of Julius Caesar.  Still, as Blind Benny continues to stumble about trying to find his way home, Delia and Steve somehow tease out enough clues from Luka's story to deduce that the dead boxer is none other than Joe Spumanti, the Mad Italian.  Delia and Steve split up, Delia going to investigate the place where he trained, and Steve to interrogate Joe's girl, the lead dancer at the Follies.  The others decide to lock Luka up "just in case," just as Blind Benny discovers Enrique's martini cart and declares himself to be home.

Photos by Marian Gonzalez

EPISODE THREE (12/13/14)

SUMMARY:  At the Folies Bergere, a musical number is in progress involving a shaky, polio-stricken FDR.  Also shaky is dancer Betty, the worst dancer in the Follies, and impressario Fluffy Diamonds fires her.  Steve arrives; as the dancers swoon over the famous detective, he interrogates Fluffy about the death of Joe Spumanti, but Fluffy claims to know nothing... nor does hard-bitten Meredith, the leader of the chorus girls.  But Steve's still got his suspicions...

Photos by Scott Golden

EPISODE FOUR (1/24/15)

SUMMARY:  Delia investigates at the ring where the late Joe Spumanti trained.  She interrogates notoriously shady trainer Sonny (who is trying to train Blind Benny), but it's a dead end - he loved Joe like a brother.  But another boxer, the monosyllabic Ungher, has a lead for Delia - a Broadway producer who made Joe mad.  Meanwhile, Steve asks questions of Bruno, the bartender across the street, but mostly just ends up giving the bartender a rather violent what-for over the correct way to make a martini.

Steve teaches bartender Bruno (David LM McIntyre) a violent lesson in the proper way to make a martini. Sonny (Pat Towne), Blind Benny (Mike Mahaffey), Delia (Bonnie Kathleen Ryan) and Ungher (Joshua Benton) in the boxing ring. Not-so-gentle giant Ungher has knocked out Blind Benny. Delia gets some important information from the monosyllabic boxer.

Photos by Marian Gonzalez

EPISODE FIVE (4/4/15) - PLAYOFFS ROUND 1!

SUMMARY:  Steve and Delia circle back to the Follies to question Fluffy Diamonds further, as well as his collaborator, Meredith.  They get nowhere... but after they leave, Meredith confesses to Fluffy that she killed Joe Spumanti.  She has an evil plan to make millions by paying actors less than minimum wage in plays by people nobody's ever heard of in houses of less than 100 seats and charging "up to ten dollars per seat."  Spumanti was a Councilor with Actors' Equity who got in her way.  She's had a gaggle of actors trapped in the basement at the Follies to break their will so they'll agree to her plans, and she cackles insanely as she releases the staggering thespians from the basement.

Fluffy Diamonds (Stephen Simon) and Meredith (Heather Schmidt), a couple of theater producers. Blind Benny puts in an appearance as Delia and Steve question Fluffy and Meredith. Fluffy wonders what comes next. Meredith reveals her evil plan.

Photos by Marian Gonzalez

CAST

Will McMichael

Steve Cartwright (Eps. 1-5)

Rebecca Larsen

Delia Cartwright (Eps. 1-2 & 5)

Bonnie Kathleen Ryan

Delia Cartwright (Ep. 4)

Pete Caslavka

Phil (Ep. 1)

Corey Klemow

Phil (Ep. 2)

Eric Curtis Johnson

Stan (Eps. 1-2)

Matt Merchant

The Corpse (Ep. 1)
Caesar (Ep. 2)

Julia Griswold

Cass (Ep. 1)
Chorus Girl (Ep. 3)

JJ Mayes

Cass / Enrique (Ep. 2)

Peter Fluet

Blind Benny (Eps. 1-3 & 5)

Mike Mahaffey

Blind Benny (Ep. 4)

Leon Russom

Dutch (Eps. 1-2)

Chairman Barnes

Barnaby (Eps. 1-2)

Dana DeRuyck

Luka (Ep. 2)

Bruno Oliver

Brutus (Ep. 2)

Marz Richards

Cassius (Ep. 2)

Colin Willkie

Sulpicius (Ep. 2)
Clyde (Ep. 4)

Mike Mahaffey

Ligarious (Ep. 2)

Vanessa Claire Stewart

Meredith (Ep. 3)

Heather Schmidt

Betty (Ep. 3)
Meredith (Ep. 5)

Monica Greene

Flumbo (Ep. 3)

Stephen Simon

Fluffy (Eps. 3 & 5)

Natalie Rose

Chorus Girl (Ep. 3)

Victor Isaac

FDR (Ep. 3)

David LM McIntyre

Bruno (Ep. 4)

Pat Towne

Sonny (Ep. 4)

Joshua Benton

Ungher (Ep. 4)

Emily Donn, Julia Griswold, Corey Klemow,
David Mayes, Lisa Anne Nicolai & Amir Talai

99 Seat Actors (Ep. 5)

Choreography by Cj Merriman (Ep. 3)

"There's Money Coming!" - Music & Lyrics by Richard Levinson & Bill Robens (Ep. 3)