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written by Patagonia Chambers
directed by Pat Towne

Winner of the Herschfeld Prize
for Billionaire Werewolf Erotica.

9 Episodes
Original Run: 4 Eps, 3/5/16 - 3/26/16
Playoffs Run: 5 Eps, 4/9/16, 4/23/16 - 5/14/16

EPISODE ONE (3/5/16)

SUMMARY: The beautiful and sophisticated Clarissaton Flumpenflumpf is spending an erotic evening with the handsome, rich and hirsute Lord Wolfbane. However, just as things get passionate, she mentions that it's a full moon, and Wolfbane begs her to leave. She does not, and he begins transforming into a wolf. We cut to Clarissaton narrating her story, filling us in from the beginning. She's a lawyer who went to Scotland on behalf of a client to see if she could get the mysterious publishing magnate Lord Wolfbane to settle. Something seems strange about Wolfbane immediately - he has dog toys, but insists that he ISN'T a dog, before he corrects himself and says he HAS a dog. Still, the attraction between the two is impossible to resist, and she makes plans to stay as Lord Wolfbane's guest, despite his secretary Katie's futile attempts to warn her to leave while she can.

Photos by Mandi Moss

EPISODE TWO (3/12/16)

SUMMARY: Scottish reporter Angus McDuff is convinced there's a werewolf prowling the land and killing people, but can't convince his editor, Fiona, to take his claims seriously. Instead, she sends him on a puff piece to interview billionaire publisher Lord Wolfbane. Meanwhile, Clarissaton's court case is finished, but she has chosen to stay with Lord Wolfbane, drawn to him, though she doesn't know why. She's starting to feel that something's not quite right a feeling enhanced when she finds a dog toy in her bed, which Lord Wolfbane is a bit too eager to fetch. But they are interrupted when Angus arrives...


SUMMARY: Clarissaton and Lord Wolfbane attend a fancy cocktail party at which the star speaker will be wealthy American businessman Fronald Drumpf, who has been buying up a lot of land in Scotland - and who Lord Wolfbane swears to stop. Katie's warnings to Clarissaton to leave before Wolfbane destroys her and everyone who loves are finally heard... but when Katie declines to provide details, Clarissaton won't take her seriously. Angus arrives at the party raving about werewolves, but is quickly removed by Drumpf's security guards. Drumpf himself arrives, and he quickly wins over the room... but Wolfbane begins his transformation and flees the party... then returns as a werewolf and tears Drumpf apart. The werewolf then nearly attacks Clarissaton, but manages to stop himself and run away instead. Katie leads a shaken Clarissaton away... and Angus appears from behind a couch, having observed the entire strange scene.

EPISODE FOUR (3/26/16)

SUMMARY: Angus cannot convince his editor, Fiona, that he's actually seen a werewolf; the story the press is going with is that the murders were committed by a hippo that's escaped from the zoo. She demands Angus drop the story and work on something else, but, undaunted, Angus returns to Lord Wolfbane's castle, where Katie is busy cleaning up Drumpf's remains. Katie also claims the murder was committed by the errant hippo. Clarissaton, meanwhile, sees Lord Wolfbane for the first time since the werewolf's appearance; his clothes are torn and his mannerisms are still most doglike. He tries (badly) to dodge her questions, but she tricks him into a confession by telling him there's a full moon tonight. But it turns out that Clarissaton doesn't care that he's a werewolf; she wants to stay with him anyway. However, their passion is interrupted by the arrival of Tony - Clarissaton's heretofore-unmentioned husband.


SUMMARY: Angus wears down Fiona until she finally allows him to continue investigating his werewolf story. Meanwhile, Tony, Clarissaton's husband, turns out to be a sexist douchebag. When Wolfbane transforms into a werewolf once more, Clarissaton encourages him to tear Tony apart... and Angus is hiding in the shadows, taking pictures of it all.


SUMMARY: Fiona continues to dismiss Angus' werewolf story, even though he's got photos of Wolfbane killing Tony and witnesses the transformation himself. She produces her own photo she says proves the existence of Nessie, which is clearly people on a water park ride. Back at Wolfbane's castle, Woflbane is disturbed by how aroused Clarissaton is by what he considers his curse, and by how pleased she is that he killed Tony. Before they can discuss the matter further, Angus arrives with a tape recorder in tow to interview Wolfbane, on the record...


SUMMARY: Angus' interview of Wolfbane is interrupted by the arrival of a panicked Katie, who swears she's just seen... the Loch Ness Monster. Angus is frustrated and dismisses her claim. He and Wolfbane begin their interview, in which Angus links Wolfbane's activism to combat climate change to the very scientific fact that the full moon is affected by tides, which have changed because of climate change, so now full moons are completely unpredictable. Wolfbane denies any interest in the full moon, but Angus persists. Meanwhile, Katie confides to Clarissaton that she was once Wolfbane's lover... until the day he transformed and bit her arm clean off. The arm she has now is a prosthetic. The full moon rises - and though Wolfbane attempts to hide, Angus takes video of the transformation on his phone so that he can expose him once and for all. Back at the offices of the newspaper, Fiona is still obsessed with the Loch Ness monster, and, with Angus obsessed with Wolfbane, decides to send her eager young assistant Colin to investigate an old lady's claim that Nessie is eating her vegetable garden. Colin finds the house creepily deserted... until he finds the old lady's severed head, and sees something terrible bearing down upon him...


SUMMARY: Angus' triumph in getting a video of Wolfbane's transformation is short-lived, as the fully-transformed werewolf crushes Angus' phone. Angus and Katie flee, but Clarissaton stays to confront him, believing she can still get through to the man beneath the beast... and finding herself more turned on than ever. As Angus and Katie run, Katie is unwilling to betray her master... but she accidentally lets slip about a mysterious woman on the edge of town who sells silver bullets. Meanwhile, Fiona goes searching for Colin, and finds him at the McGillicuddy residence begging her to kill him... and gets a glimpse of the creature responsible, sending her fleeing into the night. Back at Wolfbane's castle, Clarissaton undertakes a dangerous seduction... and pays with her life, as Wolfbane, unable to control himself, literally eats her out.


SUMMARY: A horrified Wolfbane, now human again, has taken the now-comatose Clarissaton to a doctor - the only one in the world qualified to save her from her injuries - though Wolfbane claims she fell into her coma after tripping and bumping her head on a "fanged" table. As Wolfbane confers wit the doctor, Katie confides in the insensate Clarissaton that she's the only female friend she has. And said friendship seems to be attraction, as she mounts Clarissaton's unconscious form. Meanwhile, Angus visits the witch on the edge of town that sells silver bullets... and is upset when she assumes he's hunting the Loch Ness Monster. The witch is avoiding his questions, but when Angus realizes that the cryptic riddles she's speaking in are just Led Zeppelin lyrics, and that she's a fraud, he demands the silver bullets in exchange for not betraying her secret. Back at Wolfbane's castle, the full moon rises once again, and the transformed creature kills the doctor before he can save Clarissaton. Upon reverting to human form and learning what has happened, he is consumed with grief... just as Angus arrives, ready to shoot him dead with the silver bullets. Wolfbane, unable to bear his curse any longer, resigns himself to his fate... pissing off Angus, who would prefer Wolfbane put up some sort of fight. Just before Angus can take care of Wolfbane once and for all, Fiona runs in, screaming about the Loch Ness Monster. Angus is angry once more... but the Loch Ness Monster is genuinely in pursuit, and gobbles up Fiona whole. Nessie goes for Angus next... and Wolfbane saves his life, and shoos the beast away. Angus, penitent, makes a truce with Wolfbane, and the two, along with Katie, resolve to hunt down the Loch Ness Monster and kill it. As the three freeze-frame en route, Clarissaton, in a voiceover from beyond the grave, says that the three were never seen again. She doesn't know if they succeeded in their quest, since she's dead... but she'll never forget a moment of her thrilling, erotic time as Lord Wolfbane's Mistress.


Jaime Andrews

Clarissaton (Eps. 1-9)

Curt Bonnem

Lord Kittridgely Wolfbane (Eps. 1-9)

Carrie Keranen

Katie (Eps. 1-3, 5 & 7-9)

Rebecca Larsen

Katie (Ep. 4)

Joe Fria

Angus McDuff (Eps. 2-9)

Gabby Sanalitro

Fiona McGuffin (Eps. 2 & 4-9)

Colin Willkie

Fronald Drumpf (Ep. 3)
Tony (Eps. 4-5)
Colin McWillkie (Eps. 7-8)
Dr. Robens (Ep. 9)

Evan Arnold & Troy Vincent

Drumpf's Security Guards (Ep. 3)

Corey Klemow, Emily Donn, Natasha Lee Martin,
Elizabeth McIntire & Terry Tocantins

Scottish Partygoers (Ep. 3)

Erik Engman

Victim (Ep. 8)

Lauren Van Kurin

The Witch (Ep. 9)

Terry Tocantins

Terry McManservant (Ep. 9)

Aaron Francis

The Loch Ness Monster (Ep. 9)

Thanks to Jeremy Aldridge (Ep. 5)