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by Vanessa Claire Stewart & French Stewart
(eps. 1-2 by Vanessa Stewart)
directed by Julia Griswold

You can't get to the top if he's the bottom.

9 Episodes
Original Run: 5 eps, 2/25/17 - 4/22/17
Playoffs Run: 4 eps, 4/29/17 - 6/17/17

EPISODE ONE (2/25/17)

SUMMARY: Leslie and Tina of dance troupe Soft Motionz are worried about their troupemate, Jill, who is dating the douchey Thad, the most sexist, mansplainy dick imaginable. They enter the troupe into a dance-off competition at the local mall in Tampa, the prize for which is the chance to audition for a talent agent in Atlanta. If they win, they get to live their dreams - and Thad will have to stay behind in Tampa. They win the contest handily, but it turns out they don't have the money for the trip to Atlanta... and Thad does. They're stuck with him for now...

Photos by Aaron Francis

EPISODE TWO (4/1/17)

SUMMARY: On the way to the competition, Thad insists on playing Gordon Lightfoot's "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." The song goes on forever, and Leslie and Tina can't stand it... at first. By the time the epic song concludes, however, they admit they like it now. And Thad, smirking, announces that via tips he got from both "The Game" and "The Secret," he has MADE them like Gordon Lightfoot, and he is now "inhabiting" them. As they approach the La Quinta Inn, the ladies worry that they are falling under Thad's douchey spell...

Photos by Brendan Broms


SUMMARY: Soft Motionz competes at the Quarterfinals against a slick team called Poppin' & Lockin' - and Jill can't stop crying throughout their act because Thad is missing. Blake, the blandly handsome lead singer of semifinalist white-bread boy band tries to cheer Jill up and make her forget about Thad, but can't make any headway. Three Makes W3 It seems like they're sure to lose, but thanks to the machinations of 9-time winner Rollerskate Gary, Poppin' & Lockin' are disqualified due to testing positive for drugs. Blakes falling for Jill, but his bandmates Bruce and Zeek tell him to forget those romantical thoughts... Soft Motionz is their competition now.

EPISODE FOUR (4/15/17)

SUMMARY: Leslie sits up in horror after somehow having been talked by Thad into a threesome with him and Jill. She also thinks they should be rehearsing, like their competitors are in the adjoining hotel rooms, making quite the ruckus and keeping everyone awake. Jill and Blake run into each other in the hall when they go to get ice, and Blake is disappointed to learn that Jill has a boyfriend. Meanwhile, Linda, secretary to contest judge Phil, confronts him: she knows the contest is a scam. After all, what connections to Hollywood does anybody have in Tampa, Florida? However, Phil thinks that Three Makes W3 are the only competitors in the contest with any talent; he decides to rig the contest so they win, and then make millions as the band's manager. Linda threatens to expose him, so Phil offers to marry her and have her be his beard; Linda agrees to be his "sad wife."

Photos by Brendan Broms

EPISODE FIVE (4/22/17)

SUMMARY: Tina sits up in horror after having a threesome with Rollerskate Gary and Gary Busey. Apparently, she has a thing for Garys. Stumbling out of the room, she runs into a member of Three Makes W3, and they bond over how they seem to be underwritten characters in somebody else's story. But it turns out they know each other's names (he's Zeke), and there may be a spark of potential romance. Meanwhile, Jill is crying because she's finally broken up with Thad... except she thought breaking up with Thad would upset Leslie and Tina, so she got back together with him, problem solved. Also, he's their manager now. ARRRRRGH! Seeking someone to talk to, Jill confides in Blake, who is really really nice 'cause he's Canadian. She tells him her boyfriend makes her so sad sometimes, but it's good to have someone she can talk to - a nice guy who will be her friend. Blake, who is attracted to Jill, sadly absorbs the word "friend." And Lyle, after embarrassing himself by needlessly confessing that he also had an affair with Thad, becomes a turncoat and joins competitors "Poppin' & Lockin'."

Photos by Aaron Francis


SUMMARY: Tina upsets Leslie by saying that she misses the early days of Soft Motionz, before Jill joined, and we flash back to their first dance. But Leslie convinces her that they need Jill; without her, they'd have never made it all the way to this contest. But Thad's gotten into their heads; how will they ever get rid of him?

Photos by Maral Adams


SUMMARY: We see several acts in the competition at the La Quina Inn... including a song from Three Makes W3 in which Blake tries to convince Jill to go for a nice guy like himself. But Jill just can't get over Thad, who she makes excuses for. Meanwhile, Blake is counseled that he's being too nice if he wants to win Jill's heart... so he's introduced to a little book called "The Game."

Photos by Jenelle Riley


SUMMARY: Leslie and Tina - as well as Rollerskate Gary and Gary Busey - turn the nice-guy Blake into a bad boy so that Jill will choose him over Thad. He's reluctant at first, but - after being slipped some meth - ultimately assents to the transformation.

Photos by Jenelle Riley


SUMMARY: Phil and Linda-Denise gloat over their scam talent contest as Gervin, a unicyclist with a head wound, entertains the crowds. Lyle joins Sancho to rehearse a routine for "Poppin' & Lockin'" - and Sancho is worried about being deported. Meanwhile, bad-boy Blake nearly wins Jill away from Thad with his newly-awful ways... but Thad outfoxes him with feigned tears and sincerity that pull Jill back to his side. As the talent show reaches its final round, the finalists are Soft Motionz, Three Makes W3 and Poppin' and Lockin'...

Photos by Jenelle Riley


Erin Matthews

Jill (Eps. 1-4 & 7)

Kristyn Chalker

Jill (Ep. 9)

French Stewart

Thad (Eps. 1-2, 4, 6-7 & 9)
Rollerskate Gary
(Ep. 3, 5 & 8)

Scott Golden

Phil (Eps. 1, 3-4 & 9)

Corey Klemow

Donald (Ep. 1)

Dana DeRuyck

Locusland Trophy Model (Ep. 1)
Linda-Denise (Eps. 4, 7 & 9)

Smooth Movementz
(Lauren Van Kurin, Erin Parks & Davd Haverty)

Soft Motionz (Eps. 1-3 & 5-6)

Lauren Van Kurin

Leslie (Eps. 1-9)

Erin Parks

Tina (Eps. 1-6 & 8)

David Haverty

Lyle (Eps. 1-3, 5-6 & 9)

Jaime Robledo

Sancho (Eps. 3-4 & 9)

Matt Valle

Emilio (Eps. 3-5)

Kristyn Chalker

Extreme Fan (Ep. 3)

Jaime Robledo

Sancho (Eps. 3-5)

Extremely Decent

Three Makes W3 (Eps. 3-5 & 7)

John Edison

Blake (Eps. 3-5 & 7-9)

Peter Fluet, Sondra Mayer,
Cj Merriman & Korey Simeonet

Contestants (Ep. 4)

David LM McIntyre

Gary Busey (Eps. 5 & 8)

Gabby Sanalitro

Lonnie (Ep. 7)

Amir Levi, Curt Bonnem & Tim Kopacz

Man Buns (Ep. 7)

Heather & Julia

Jeather & Hulia (Ep. 7)

Paul Plunkett

Gervin (Ep. 9)