SUMMARY: Jane Austen, wanting to get in on the recent
trend for mash-ups, shares with us her newest novel, Emma
Frankenstein. We meet the three young Woodhouse sisters - Jane, the pretty
one; Emma, the smart one (and, at 17, the eldest); and Harriet,
the lesbian one. Nice Mr. Knightley, who Emma has known all her
life, wants to marry her, but Emma wants to hold out for true
love - for a real man who can ignite her passions. Knightley
informs the sisters that a Dr. Frankenstein - now known as Dr.
Frankenberry in the "new country" - has moved to town, and has a
wealthy son. They meet the good doctor at a ball, where
Frankenberry measures everybody's heads while denying any
knowledge of the stories of grave-robbing and brain-stealing in
the town he came from (Ipswich). Suddenly, his son, Frank, comes
barreling through the room, screaming and knocking people over
with brute force. When Emma and Frank meet, there is a moment of
connection - just before he knocks her to the ground too and
rampages off. Emma is taken; this, at last, is a real man.
EPISODE TWO (4/15/17)
SUMMARY: Jane Austen lets us know she doesn't mind that
her books keep getting adapted and reinvented for the movies,
because it has made her very rich. Back in the story, Emma
despairs of making Frank into a proper gentleman so they can
marry, so Mama throws a ball to make an attempt. The insistent
Mr. Knightley inadvertently gives Emma a crazy idea when she
wishes that his brain could be put into Frank's body. But of
course, that idea is nonsense, isn't it? At the ball, Frank
stuns Emma when hearing some opera causes him to begin singing
in a beautiful, operatic voice. However, the moment is broken
when a cake is brought out and Frank goes into a rampage at the
sight of the blazing candles.
EPISODE THREE (4/22/17)
SUMMARY: Jane Austen is annoyed by the presence of Mary
Shelley, who has arrived to make sure her masterpiece is not
degraded by Austen's writing. The two fight over the worth of
their literary careers, and Mary needles Jane over the fact that
she was never married. In telling the story, Jane and Mary fight
over the portrayal of Frank, who Mary wants to make more
eloquent, but fortunately for Jane, Frank's bestial ways have
already been established. Emma despairs over Frank ever
expressing his love for her, but when she says that all men
leave her, Frank manages to get out a "Not all men." Later, Dr.
Frankenberry says that Frank will be proposing to somebody that
night... but Emma is devastated when Frank proposes to youngest
and prettiest sister Jane.
Photos by Aaron
EPISODE FOUR (5/6/17)
- PLAYOFFS ROUND 1!
SUMMARY: Emma’s heart breaks over Frank’s proposal to
Jane, and Frank tells her, "It's not you... it's me"... the very
same line she uses on Mr. Knightley to fend off his advances.
Dr. Frankenberry introduces his new assistant, Igor – a woman
who Harriet immediately falls for. Are all the sisters to find
love except for Emma?
EPISODE FIVE (6/3/17)
- PLAYOFFS ROUND 2!
SUMMARY: Mary Shelley's lawyers have earned her the right
to compensation from Jane Austen for appropriating her
characters, and she takes Jane's tiara. In the story, Jane is
distressed to learn that Frank loves her not for her brains, but
for her body. Mama is briefly willing to consider letter Jane
marry whoever she wants, while she opposes Harriet's newfound
love with the female Igor... but when she learns that Dr.
Frankenberry's vast fortune will be split between Frank and Igor
upon his death, she gives the blessing for both relationships.
Emma, left alone, is about to settle and accept Mr. Knightley's
advances... but just at that moment, a handsome and libertine
stranger, Mr. Church, arrives, and immediately wins Emma's
attentions. Outside the story, Mary Shelley requires Jane Austen
to pay up once more - this time by taking Mr. Fitzwhickham from
EPISODE SIX (6/10/17)
- PLAYOFFS ROUND 3!
SUMMARY: Everybody seems to have found love except for
the forlorn Mr. Knightley, who peevishly points out the
deficiencies in everybody's relationship, and insults the women
for not dating a "nice guy" like him. This earns him a beating
from Frank - which briefly recaptures Emma's interest from Mr.
Church. Soon after, Dr. Frankenberry declaims to a rapturous
Igor and an uncomprehending Frank that his evil scheme is going
exactly to plan...
EPISODE SEVEN (6/17/17)
- PLAYOFFS ROUND 4!
SUMMARY: Jane Austen is now destitute thanks to Mary
Shelley, but she continues her story: all of the Woodhouse women
have found love... including Mama, who has a burgeoning
flirtation with Dr. Frankenberry. Mr. Knightley arrives to
apologize for his behavior last week, but when Mr. Church
reveals himself as a terrible sexist, Mr. Knightley defends
Emma's honor, winning her respect. Meanwhile, Dr. Frankenberry's
newfound feelings for Mama make him doubt his evil plan: to gain
the Woodhouse fortune via the various marriages, and then kill
the Woodhouse girls and use their brains for his experiments.
However, Igor - who is only feigning her love for Harriet -
points out that Frank's brain is deteriorating; they must press
on and get Frank a new brain or he'll die. And Igor finds
herself attracted to the caddish Mr. Church. The story is
interrupted by an apologetic Mary Shelley, who has realized she
shouldn't be cattily fighting with Jane Austen, but supporting
her against the patriarchy. And Jane is moved to tears to learn
that Mary considers "Sense and Sensibility" a masterpiece, even
though she hates romcoms. The two forge a truce.
EPISODE EIGHT (6/24/17)
- PLAYOFFS ROUND 5!
SUMMARY: Jane Austen and Mary Shelley are now friends,
and Mary (somewhat reluctantly) returns Jane's jewels to her.
They narrate the conclusion of the story together. Emma
considers marrying Mr. Knightley, while Mama frets that Dr.
Frankenberry won't make a move on her. Jane is increasingly
distressed about her impending marriage to Frank, who only wants
her for her beauty. Harriet is heartbroken at
Igor's treachery. Dr. Frankenberry admits Frank's true nature to
the Woodhouses. He says that had always wanted children, but
when he spent his life alone and childless, he turned to evil. Mama forgives
him, but he must run before the mob arrives. Meanwhile, Jane
gives Mama a makeover. Mr. Knightley earns Emma's
respect; Mr. Church nearly charms her all over again, leading Knightley to leave, heartbroken, but Emma breaks away from Mr.
Church, saying she needs more than charm. She searches for Mr.
Knightley by horse - while Mr. Knightley finds a weak and dying Frank,
who desperately needs a new brain, and
takes him to Frankenberry's lab. Mama arrives at the lab, and
her "Bride of Frankenberry" makeover attracts the Doctor over Igor's protests. Emma
arrives, declaring her love for Mr. Knightley, and Igor, blaming
her for ruining everything, draws a pistol on her - but Mr.
Knightley jumps between them and takes the bullet for Emma. Frank hits his head attempting to rescue Knightley and becomes briefly eloquent. As Knightley lies there
dying, Dr. Frankenberry switches his brain with Frank's. Frank (with Mr. Knightley's brain) and Emma
declare their love, as do Mama and Dr. Frankenberry. And Jane
announces she's found somebody loyal to be with who isn't
interested in her looks: a dog. Only Harriet is left alone and bereft... until she
learns that she's earned a scholarship to a writing workshop in
the United States with Gertrude Stein. As the story concludes,
Mary returns the one final thing to Jane Austen she had taken
away: Mr. Fitzwickham. Grateful, Jane says she no longer needs a
servant... but she does need a partner. And Mr. Fitzwickham is
glad to oblige.
Lauren Van Kurin
(Eps. 1-5 & 8)
(Eps. 3 & 5-8)
JJ Mayes & Colin
Jane's True Love
built by Allison Faith Sulock