by Heather Hopkins
directed by Nathan Oliver
4/12/08 - 4/19/08
Chastity is a virtue.
by C.M. Gonzalez
It's Cathy's (Franci Montgomery) birthday, and
clown (Scott Leggett), who only she can see, won't let her
get it on with her asshole boyfriend Trey (Michael Lanahan).
Shy Neil (Joe Fria) gives Cathy a birthday
...and then sings "She's So High" to express his
The Clown can't juggle. Not all clowns
can juggle. That's stereotypical bullshit.
Neil also has a chastity clown - Taffy (Alexandra
She and Cathy's Clown don't get along. CLOWN OFF!
passed out during the clown-off, while Neil hid.
Cathy's mom (Jenelle Riley) cheerfully explains
that she cursed
Cathy with the Chastity Clown via an ancient Chinese puzzle box.
Cathy's Clown returns, gloating over his victory
over Taffy - she's dead.
Neil unexpectedly grieves for
Taffy - the only friend he ever had.
Uh oh. Trey's found the puzzle box.
Meanwhile, Cathy and Neil hatch a scheme to have
sex in hopes of
banishing Cathy's Clown once and for all... but a sinister
Clowns are too involved with fighting each
other to prevent Cathy and Neil from getting it on. Oops.
This might have been a happy ending, except that Cathy didn't
really want to have sex with Neil and the Clowns are so
that it's a sure thing that something TERRIBLE is about to
because of their failure to carry out their Chastity Clown duty
Trey's about to open the puzzle box and WHAT COULD HAPPEN NEXT?
Well, nothing, because this was where the story ended.