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written by Heather Hopkins
directed by Nathan Oliver

2 Episodes
/12/08 - 4/19/08

Chastity is a virtue.


Franci Montgomery

Cathy (Eps. 1-2)

Joe Fria

Neil (Eps. 1-2)

Scott Leggett

Clown (Eps. 1-2)

Michael Lanahan

Trey (Eps. 1-2)

Alexandra Billings

Taffy (Eps. 1-2)

Jenelle Riley

Mom (Eps. 1-2)

by C.M. Gonzalez

EPISODE ONE (4/12/08)

It's Cathy's (Franci Montgomery) birthday, and her chastity
clown (Scott Leggett), who only she can see, won't let her
get it on with her asshole boyfriend Trey (Michael Lanahan).

Shy Neil (Joe Fria) gives Cathy a birthday present...

...and then sings "She's So High" to express his unrequited love.

The Clown can't juggle.  Not all clowns
 can juggle.  That's stereotypical bullshit.

Neil also has a chastity clown - Taffy (Alexandra Billings).
She and Cathy's Clown don't get along.  CLOWN OFF!

EPISODE TWO (4/19/08)

Cathy passed out during the clown-off, while Neil hid.
What happened?

Cathy's mom (Jenelle Riley) cheerfully explains that she cursed
Cathy with the Chastity Clown via an ancient Chinese puzzle box.

Cathy's Clown returns, gloating over his victory over Taffy - she's dead.

Neil unexpectedly grieves for
Taffy - the only friend he ever had.

Uh oh.  Trey's found the puzzle box.

Meanwhile, Cathy and Neil hatch a scheme to have sex in hopes of
banishing Cathy's Clown once and for all... but a sinister figure looms...


However, the Clowns are too involved with fighting each
other to prevent Cathy and Neil from getting it on.  Oops.
This might have been a happy ending, except that Cathy didn't
really want to have sex with Neil and the Clowns are so horrified
that it's a sure thing that something TERRIBLE is about to happen
because of their failure to carry out their Chastity Clown duty and
Trey's about to open the puzzle box and WHAT COULD HAPPEN NEXT?
Well, nothing, because this was where the story ended.