written & directed by Henry Dittman
music by The Futtbuckerz (episode 3)
Next Time: Episode 3
Original Run: 2 Episodes - 1/16/10 - 1/23/10
Playoffs: 1 Episode - 5/22/10
Ladies and Gentlemen? Prepare
to get bucked... in
Gary the Roadie
The Hype Man
Perry the Roadie
by C.M. Gonzalez
EPISODE ONE (1/16/10)
Meet 80s hair metal band Futtbuckerz, the highest-grossing band
in rock music!
They treat women like garbage like it's their job! 'Cause
it IS their job!
(L-R: Henry Dittman as "Bunk," Troy Vincent as "Dickie,"
Scott Leggett as "Melvin" and Sean Sweeney as "Crab")
A couple of hot female fans (Julia Griswold & Colin Willkie) are
for the concert by the hype of the Hype Man (Bruno Oliver).
Gary the Roadie (Bryan Krasner) is ready to service the band at all
The Futtbuckerz thank Gary for his help, and he brings a woman
Melanie Granitetop (Sarah McElligott), an "ice queen" from the
visits the band backstage. She's not even wearing
Melanie gives them an edict:
It's the 90s.
The new sound is Grunge. They need to
change their look and sound, and start treating women with
respect... or they're through.
"I'm gonna give you one simple choice. Either get the fuck out
of this room...
or else take off that top and show us those sexy milkers."
Melanie wastes no time putting the boys in their place. Ow!
Really, friggin' OW!
They're gonna find whoever's responsible for grunge... and
they're gonna KICK HIS ASS!
EPISODE TWO (1/23/10)
But forget that plot thread! There's a note! Gary's
Bunk thinks it's a dick move of Crab to ask them what the
note says when Crab's the only one who can read.
An unseen voice taunts Gary.
"Do you remember the days when you were MY roadie?
When you were MY toady? When that was... MY goatee?"
The kidnapper is Trick Hickson (Joe Fria), who was lead singer
before Bunk, when they were a glam metal band called "The
Now Trick will take away the only thing they love! Which is...
"Hot lady tail?"
"Hot guitar licks?"
"Rubbers on boners?"
Trick's going to KILL GARY!
EPISODE THREE: "FUTTBUCKERZ!: AMERICAN HEROES" (5/22/10)
PLAYOFFS WEEK ONE! (WILD CARD WEEK) Photos by Aaron Francis
But forget that plot thread! It's just a night for all the
Futtbuckerz to be hangin' out together.
R-L: Bunk, Dickie, Crab, Perry the Roadie (Pat Towne) and
hitherto-unknown Futtbucker P.P. (Joe Fria)
and memories around the campfire.
Dickie explains once again why he doesn't like rubbers.
P.P. and Perry share a memory they didn't know that they shared.
Crab has an idea: maybe it's time to do some good in the
The Futtbuckerz decide to travel the country fighting crime.
they ARE America's Heroes! Or so they say. "They"
being the Futtbuckerz.