About     Get Involved     Archives     Search

written & directed by Henry Dittman
music by The Futtbuckerz (episode 3)

Next Time: Episode 3
Original Run: 2 Episodes - 1/16/10 - 1/23/10
Playoffs: 1 Episode - 5/22/10

Ladies and Gentlemen?  Prepare
to get bucked... in the FUTT.


Henry Dittman

Bunk (Eps. 1-3)

Scott Leggett

Melvin (Eps. 1-2)

Sean Sweeney

Crab (Eps. 1-3)

Troy Vincent

Dickie (Eps. 1-3)

Bryan Krasner

Gary the Roadie (Eps. 1-2)

Sarah McElligott

Melanie Granitetop (Ep. 1)

Julia Griswold

Fan #1 (Ep. 1)

Colin Willkie

Fan #2 (Ep. 1)

Bruno Oliver

The Hype Man (Ep. 1)

Joe Fria

Trick Hickson (Ep. 2)
(Ep. 3)

Pat Towne

Perry the Roadie (Ep. 3)

by C.M. Gonzalez

EPISODE ONE (1/16/10)

Meet 80s hair metal band Futtbuckerz, the highest-grossing band in rock music!
They treat women like garbage like it's their job!  'Cause it IS their job!
(L-R: Henry Dittman as "Bunk," Troy Vincent as "Dickie,"
Scott Leggett as "Melvin" and Sean Sweeney as "Crab")

A couple of hot female fans (Julia Griswold & Colin Willkie) are hyped
for the concert by the hype of the Hype Man (Bruno Oliver).

Gary the Roadie (Bryan Krasner) is ready to service the band at all times.

The Futtbuckerz thank Gary for his help, and he brings a woman backstage.

Melanie Granitetop (Sarah McElligott), an "ice queen" from the label,
visits the band backstage.  She's not even wearing hairspray!

Melanie gives them an edict:
It's the 90s. The new sound is Grunge.  They need to
change their look and sound, and start treating women with respect... or they're through.

"I'm gonna give you one simple choice. Either get the fuck out of this room...
or else take off that top and show us those sexy milkers."

Melanie wastes no time putting the boys in their place.  Ow!

Really, friggin' OW!

They're gonna find whoever's responsible for grunge... and they're gonna KICK HIS ASS!

EPISODE TWO (1/23/10)

But forget that plot thread!  There's a note!  Gary's been kidnapped!

Bunk thinks it's a dick move of Crab to ask them what the
note says when Crab's the only one who can read.

An unseen voice taunts Gary.
"Do you remember the days when you were MY roadie?
When you were MY toady?  When that was... MY goatee?"

The kidnapper is Trick Hickson (Joe Fria), who was lead singer
before Bunk, when they were a glam metal band called "The LickDickers."
Now Trick will take away the only thing they love! Which is...

"Hot lady tail?"

"Hot guitar licks?"

"Rubbers on boners?"

NO!  Trick's going to KILL GARY!

Photos by Aaron Francis

But forget that plot thread!  It's just a night for all the Futtbuckerz to be hangin' out together.
R-L: Bunk, Dickie, Crab, Perry the Roadie (Pat Towne) and hitherto-unknown Futtbucker P.P. (Joe Fria)

Lifestyle choices
and memories around the campfire.

Dickie explains once again why he doesn't like rubbers.

P.P. and Perry share a memory they didn't know that they shared.

Crab has an idea:  maybe it's time to do some good in the world.

The Futtbuckerz decide to travel the country fighting crime.  After all...
they ARE America's Heroes!  Or so they say.  "They" being the Futtbuckerz.