Two cockney gravediggers find their lives turned upside
when Dr. Frankenstein threatens to replace them with
(Eps. 1, 3-5 & 7-8)
(Eps. 5 & 7-8)
Songs by Richard
Levinson, KJ Middlebrooks & Robert Sylvester Kelly (Ep. 8)
Marianne Davis (Ep. 8)
by C.M. Gonzalez
EPISODE ONE (4/3/10)
The trials and tribulations of Dr. Frankenstein's gravediggers.
In the dead of night, gravediggers Timmy (Heather Klinke) and
Tommy (Chad Fifer) dig for bodies for their employer, Dr.
They overhear American efficiency expert Mr. Friday (Sean
advise Dr. Frankenstein (Eric Curtis Johnson) to invent a
gravedigging machine to replace the gravediggers.
Dr. Frankenstein would dig the graves himself, but "watching
my impetuous young daughter Vera takes up all my time."
Our heroes, who have discovered buried sacks of money, decide to
money and become proper gentlemen... and take their revenge on the "good"
Enter the Monster (Colin Willkie).
Dr. Frankenstein's daughter Vera (Mandi Moss) plans to run off
with the Monster,
supporting themselves with the money she's buried... but when
she finds the money
is gone, she commands the Monster to find the gravediggers...
and kill them.
EPISODE TWO (4/10/10)
The gravediggers re-bury the money to hide it after taking some
to buy top hats - "which, as far as we know, is the
one item that separates a couple of dirty bastards
like us from a couple of gentleman geezers!"
Monster keeps ripping up the gravedigging machines.
Now Dr. Frankenstein has no gravediggers to dispose of
the bodies left by the Monster, thanks to Mr. Friday.
Friday realizes what's up between the
Monster and Vera, and the money the gravediggers
have stolen... and plans to scam them.
Meanwhile, the gravediggers plan their revenge against Dr.
Buy top hats. Pretend to be gentlemen. Timmy will offer to
and then "poke her with his creamstick" while Dr. Frankenstein
watches... then rip away his fake moustache so that Dr.
Frankenstein can see he's really a gravedigger, not a gentleman.
Mr. Friday arrives, claiming he'll sell them top hats.
Monster spots the gravediggers.
EPISODE THREE (4/17/10)
Our heroes are back to digging graves after spending time as
Oh, what larks they've had! They remember...
Friday offers to sell them property in the Everglades, "where
are the gentlemen
are buying their estates these days." He takes their money and
gives them his top hat,
claiming he'll come back with another later. Timmy gives
him his hat as "collateral."
A top hat AND land! Timmy's a gentleman at last!
the Monster to kill the next gravedigger he sees
carrying a big sack of money... and here comes the Monster...
The 'Stache Gambit
forgot to grow a moustache for his
disguise, so Tommy becomes his moustache.
Frankenstein welcomes the "gentleman" to his castle.
However, he's already chosen a suitor for the unwilling Vera:
Her suitor is Count Dracula (KJ Middlebrooks), who informs our
that they've been had. Mr. Friday's been selling worthless
As our heroes head home, they find that
Friday has been strangled right in front of
the school. The teacher (Megan Crockett) pays them two pounds
each to bury his body.
Thus returning them to their lives as gravediggers, and bringing
us full circle.
a new idea: buy some land and go into business for themselves.
But where to get the bodies? Kill them themselves! "If only we
could find a third
partner with loads of cash and no qualms about stranglin'
EPISODE FOUR (4/24/10)
Our heroes are digging their own graves...
...to advertise for their new gravedigging business.
Reminiscing about the Devil and a very, very friendly ghost.
Vera is upset to find the Monster is has invested her money
in the gravedigging business, and breaks up with him.
She runs off with Dracula.
The Monster is upset at the gravediggers for ruining his only
Dr. Frankenstein is grief-stricken to find Tommy and Timmy's
Assuming them dead, he runs off to find their bodies.
The Monster kills the gravediggers.
"Misery has made me a beast!"
Dr. Frankenstein finds their bodies still warm.
"Don't worry, my friends. I'm going to bring you back,
healthier and stronger than ever. And I have a few ideas
about certain alterations I can make as well!
Certain strange and quite useless alterations!"
EPISODE FIVE (5/29/10) - PLAYOFFS WEEK TWO!
On a stormy night, Dr. Frankenstein brings the gravediggers back
...now almost totally unrecognizable. It has nothing to do with
actors being out of town and unavailable for the playoffs, nope,
not at all.
(Anthony Backman as "Tommy" and Victor Isaac as "Timmy")
They at first decide that as they're monsters, they should do
some rampaging, but
ultimately decide to return to their original plan to get
revenge on Dr. Frankenstein.
Vera is dining her friend Elizabeth (Rebecca Larsen). They
went to Oxford together,
but were promptly kicked out because they were women. Elizabeth
has a new suitor!
Said suitor - the Monster - is working as an environmentalist.
"PONDS AND FOREST GOOD! INDUSTRY BAD!"
When Dracula starts flirting with Elizabeth, Vera
wonders if Dracula really needs yet another wife.
The Monster arrives. "AWKWARD."
EPISODE SIX (6/5/10) - PLAYOFFS WEEK THREE!
Dr. Frankenstein finally discovers that he was successful in
reviving the gravediggers. Where
can they be? He must find them at once! With THREE monsters on
the loose, lives are at stake!
However, he is distracted by the arrival of Igor (Joseph Beck),
back from his sabbatical.
They decide to pop around the pub to kidnap a prostitute and
turn her into a proper lady.
Latest scheme to get top hats to become gentlemen: "Excuse me!
We two are quite fearsome monsters! May
we have whatever money you have?" But they can't scare the
Dickens out of him... because he IS Charles Dickens!
Dickens (Peter Fluet) agrees to be their benefactor... if they
will kill his houseguest: Hans Christian Andersen.
Dracula and the Monster share awkward conversation while the
ladies are in the bathroom.
And that conversation goes a little like this.
Hans Christian Andersen (Jacob Sidney) arrives, orders a drink
from the waiter (JJ Mayes), and is a bit too flirty with
When Dracula takes Hans to meet his third "baby bat momma,"
the Monster is stuck with the bill. "DOUCHEBAGS!"
EPISODE SEVEN (6/12/10) - PLAYOFFS WEEK FOUR!
Dr. Frankenstein prepares to turn Lilly (Jaime Andrews), a
into a "proper lady"... by killing and then reviving her
as a monster.
Charles Dickens provides the gravediggers with top
hats so they may pose as his nephews at his party.
The Monster arrives with Elizabeth... and Dickens flirts with
Hans Christian Andersen leads the party in a game of "Secret
Incoherent Lilly has no trouble communicating her secret word,
"Tower of London."
The Monster's word: "Trancendentalism."
The Monster and Dracula get into an argument.
"Steal girlfriend. Asshole!" A fight breaks out.
The gravediggers cut the lights. When they come back on... it
seems they've accidentally killed Dracula, as well as stabbing
EPISODE EIGHT (6/19/10) - PLAYOFFS WEEK FIVE!
The Monster catches us up on the story so far.
The gravediggers flee, and meet a blind old man (David LM
believing them to be cold, gives them scarves they use to hide
The monsters are imprisoned together - and love blooms.
Song: "Our Little Dungeon of Love"
It seems that Hans was stabbed in his appendix, which was
about to burst... saving his life. Dickens has been foiled!
So Dickens tries to smother him with a pillow.
As the gravediggers bury bodies for the old man, Igor shows up
with a flower for Timmy. Timmy, who
doesn't see him, speaks of how disgusting Igor is. "I'm an
idiot," says Igor as he leaves, heartbroken.
Meanwhile, the gravediggers decide to break the monsters out of
prison... for once, not
for revenge... but simply because it's the right thing to do.
Vera mourns Dracula... who was actually buried alive. Or undead.
Something like that.
Dracula is trapped in a coffin. "C'mon, help a Dracula
out." But nobody can hear him.
In court - Judge Grant (Sean Sweeney, center) presides, and
Abraham Van Helsing (Joe Hendrix, left)
is the prosecution, while the Constable (Jay Bogdanowitsch)
It looks grim... until young Abraham Lincoln (Brian Frates)
shows up from America to defend the monsters.