Page Boy (Eddie)
(Eps. 1-4 & 6-7)
(Eps. 1 & 3-5)
(Eps. 1-5 & 6-7)
Sam the Bartender
Singing Saloon Piano Player
Singing Pirate Piano Player
Cave Den Club Performer
(Ep. 6) Betsy
Music & Lyrics
by Richard Levinson:
"The Cabin Boy's Lament"
(Air of the Madri-gals)"
EPISODE ONE (9/19/09) Photos this week by Aaron Francis
strikes a sleepy Southern California beach, a group
of midnight surfing surfers are called to action, resulting in a
showdown with uninvited guests of a violence-loving motorcycle
gang. However, everyone is not who they seem to be…
Virginal Sandy (Vivian Kerr) and her Moondoggie
boyfriend Mitch (Paul Byrne) flirt on the beach, but
night is cut short by an attack by the vampire Sajen
Meet surfing vampires, ebullient Vladimir (Mikhail Blokh) and
emo Ian (Bruno Oliver).
Ian's bummed... 1000 years, and they've never yet caught the
Fellow surfing vampire Sue Beth (Andrea Ruth) arrives to
warn them that Sajen is trying to break his curse again.
Sandy is being forced to wed Sajen! (Priest - Joseph Beck)
A troublemaking trio of vampires, Svetlana (Mandi Moss),
Victoria (Juliette Storace) and Jessie (Julia Griswold).
The ritual is ineffective. Turns out Sandy's not really a
virgin after all.
It's vampire surfers vs. vampire... vampires... in a bloody
EPISODE TWO (9/26/09)
But forget that showdown. The surfing vampires - who can
apparently travel in time -
have been following Ian in his quest to find the perfect wave.
Vladimir is tired,
but Ian says, "It's not a tragedy to die doing what you love."
A saloon in
the Old West,
1875. L-R: two strangers, the bartender (Joseph Beck),
dance hall girl Rose (Vivian Kerr) and Sheriff Tex (Paul Byrne).
Tex demands that the piano player (Richard Levinson) get to
The surfing vampires arrive and try to act inconspicuous.
However, when Tex gets fresh with Rose, Ian can't help but butt
The strangers turn out to be Svetlana - who has a terrible
scheme to become all-powerful, and, it transpires, has
already turned Rose into a vampire - and Jessie.
another cliffhanger showdown.
EPISODE THREE (10/3/09)
But forget that showdown. Instead, flashback. Ian
been trapped in a bottle by an unknown enemy.
Said enemy is the pirate Edward (Brian Wallis), here
the ship of Haworth (Paul Byrne) while a still-human Sue Beth
and his daughter, Sylvia (Vivian Kerr) look on.
Annnnnd guess who's here.
Haworth soon finds that bullets won't stop Edward.
Sylvia is held hostage by cabin boy George (Joseph Beck).
Pirate Piano Player (Richard Levinson) sings The Cabin Boy's
Vladimir meets Sue Beth, and it's love at first sight.
As Vladimir is restrained, Sue Beth willingly allows
herself to be transformed into a vampire.
EPISODE FOUR (10/10/09)
Elsewhen. On the beach. Ian and Vladimir must travel
to the Middle Ages.
Eddie the Page Boy (Vivian Kerr).
The Fool (Jay Bogdanowitsch).
The Black Knight and compatriots (guess who in disguise...)
King Albert (Paul Byrne) and Princess Isabella (Andrea Ruth).
Whosoever shall best the Black Knight in a joust
shall have the Princess' hand in marriage.
Ian jousts the Black Knight...
...and loses, staked through the heart with a wooden joust!
The Black Knight was Svetlana... and Ian dies in Vladimir's
EPISODE FIVE (10/17/09)
Vladimir takes Ian's body to a powerful sorcerer (Joseph Beck)
and asks him to bring Ian back to life.
The sorcerer's assistants, the Tribal Drummer (Aaron Mendelson)
and the Tribal Dancer (Natasha Norman).
The Big Kahuna (David Mayes) tells Vladimir he can find
what he seeks... but first... he must remember.
What he remembers is visiting a sitcom caveman family with Ian.
(L-R: Paul Byrne as "Oppa," Vivian Kerr as "Oppa" and Andrea
Ruth as "Jo Jo Beth")
The M.C. (Brian Wallis) at Club Cave Den.
Jokes from the Dawn of Time. Literally.
"The Temptresses" are up next... guess who? Vladimir and
are helpless to prevent them from turning Jo Jo Beth into a
Back in the present, the sorcerer has revived Ian...
but shrunk him to doll size.
EPISODE SIX (5/29/10) - PLAYOFFS WEEK TWO!
But heck, forget that storyline... what was it, nine months ago?
A new story begins
as Ian and Vladimir bathe in the moonlight. Ian insists
that Vladimir join him
in calling out to the ocean to show them the way to the most
an astral projection from Mary Lou (Vivian Kerr) tells them that
Sue Beth is being held hostage by evil vampire Sajen on a film
set in 1921.
Said film set - a vampire flick, natch. (Vampire: Brian
The producer (David Mayes) over-rules the director (Paul Byrne,
far R) as the A.D. (Colin Willkie) looks on.
The producer gets his way: there's now a tap-dancing
girl (Josie Gundy) in the vampire flick.
The lead vampire is really Sajen! And Svetlana and Jessie
are there, too.
Sajen says that Sue Beth will soon give birth to the most
powerful undead being
to ever walk this planet - and he's about to impregnate Mary Lou
Peaceful Ian calls for peace and tranquility... but Cherry's
annoys him so much, he breaks her neck in a fit of rage.
EPISODE SEVEN (6/5/10) - PLAYOFFS WEEK THREE!
December 21, 2012. Mary Lou, after her impending childbirth,
is the sacrifice that will bring about the end of the world.
However, the ritual doesn't seem to be working.
Jessie and Svetlana are bored because Sajen won't let them bite
(Joseph Beck), ruler of all vampires, is here to celebrate the
apocalypse, accompanied by his loyal acolyte Betsy (Josie
hunters Bolt (Colin Willkie) and
Ice Pick (Paul Byrne) are here to save mankind.
Vladimir arrive through the time portal. Ian's still bummed.
Ian throws himself into the volcano - precipitating Doomsday.