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written & directed by Jenelle Riley

10 Episodes
Original Run: 5 Episodes - 3/26/11 - 4/23/11
Playoffs Run: 5 Episodes - 5/21/11 - 6/25/11

The title says it all.


Eric Giancoli

Narrator (Eps. 1-4 & 6-10)

Carrie Wiita

Ally (Eps. 1-10)

Mike Lanahan

Mark (Eps. 1-5 & 7-10)

Trey Perkins

Mark (Ep. 6)

Rick Steadman

Boy (Ep. 1)
Max (Eps. 2-10)

Erin Matthews

Girl (Ep. 1)
Lucy (Eps. 2, 4-5 & 7-10)

Erin Holt

Lucy (Eps. 3 & 6)

Kat Steel

Belle (Ep. 1)

Michael Holmes

Clark (Ep. 1)

Curt Bonnem

Bob (Eps. 2-7 & 9-10)

Jenelle Riley

Ally's Friend (Ep. 2)

Andrea Wright

Ally's Mom (Ep. 3)

Eric Curtis Johnson

Mark's Dad (Ep. 3)
Narrator (Ep. 5)

Julia Griswold

Juneau Alaska (Ep. 3)

Mathew Merchant

John (Ep. 4)

Shaela Ann Cook

Alice (Eps. 4-10)

Jessica Gardner

Tammy (Ep. 4)

Megan Crockett

Lauren (Ep. 4)

Vanessa Perkins

Brenda (Eps. 4-5)

Alyssa Preston

Kelly (Eps. 5 & 10)

Bryan Bellomo

Dean (Ep. 6)


Petey (Ep. 6)

Joe Egender

Carl (Ep. 7)

Jessica Sherman

Charlotte (Ep. 7)

Jennifer Smith

Molly (Ep. 8)

JJ Mayes

Guy (Ep. 8)

Anthony Backman, Chairman Barnes,
Heather Howe, JJ Mayes,
Erika Salomon & Terry Tocantins

Movie Patrons (Ep. 8)

Victor Isaac

Victor (Ep. 9)

Jaime Robledo

Colin (Ep. 9)

Jill Bennett

Casey (Eps. 9-10)

Gregory Guy Gorden

Stefan (Ep. 10)

EPISODE ONE (3/26/11)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez
Video by Chairman Barnes

SUMMARY:  Ally and Mark have had trouble in love all their lives.  Ally lets herself be a walking doormat for guys, while Mark's a "nice guy" who doesn't understand why just being a really good friend doesn't get him a girlfriend.  Ally takes her romantic cues from Disney films - her imaginary romantic advisor is Belle from "Beauty and the Beast" - while Mark was raised on comic books and gets bad advice from Superman.  Ally and Mark are perfect for each other... but there's a good chance they may never meet.

Meet Ally (Carrie Wiita), a true romantic. She's been walked over by men (Rick Steadman) all her life. Mark (Mike Lanahan) is a 'nice guy' who can't masturbate in his own room because he's afraid his goldfish are watching him. 'If I just hold out and be a really good friend you're bound to fall in love with me! That always works!' (Erin Matthews as 'Girl') No matter how hard they tried to acquiesce, they always wound up the same way... alone. Belle (Kat Steel), Ally's confidant. 'Why, Ally, you look positively glum! What's the matter?' 'And you, closing in on 40.' 'I'm 28!' 'Of course you are, dear.' Mark's main influences came from comic books and Cameron Crowe movies. Clark (Michael Holmes) just has to introduce himself to women - that usually does the trick. That won't work for Mark. Clark advises a grand gesture, but Mark's tried serenades and flowers. Has he tried the earth's rotation and traveling back in time? 'Sounds to me like someone's just not trying.' On meeting a prince: 'After some verbal abuse, you two will fall madly in love.' Clark dictates a personal ad. 'One spectacular guy looking for a like-minded lady looking to share my Fortress of Solitude. I can fly anywhere in the solar system, but only you can take me to heaven.  P.S. - No fatties.' Belle and Clark run off together. Ally and Mark are still alone... and may never meet.

Meet Ally and Mark.

EXCERPT: Ally gets her first kiss.

EXCERPT: Clark helps Mark compose his personal ad.

EPISODE TWO (4/2/11)
Photos by Aaron Francis
Video by Jay Bogdanowitsch

SUMMARY:  Mark and Ally's friends give them conflicting and ultimately useless relationship advice. If this were a movie, it would be the point where Ally and Mark meet the people they realize are perfect for them. Instead, Mark goes on a date with a co-worker he doesn't really think is right for him, a shallow weathergirl named Lucy, while Ally goes invites her douchebag ex-boyfriend Max over. Lucy has multiple dates in one night, and leaves the dinner early, while Max is only interested in getting laid, not talking. She fails to tell him off for his callousness. Lucy does suggest that Mark meet her roommate, but he demurs. Of course, said roomate is Ally. In the end, both Mark and Ally have one consolation they can count on - an evening of pizza and Star Wars... and the belief that there's somebody out there for them.

Mark tries to be hopeful. So does Ally. It's not easy, though. Mark's friend (Curt Bonnem) gives useless dating advice. The advice of Ally's friend (Jenelle Riley) is just plain contradictory. Ally often spends the night with a pint of Haagen-Dazs and Season 2 of 'Sex and the City.' On an awkward date with shallow weather girl Lucy (Erin Matthews). Lucy's sure Mark would have been a local tv star if he were, y'know, attractive. Meanwhile, Ally makes out with an ex-boyfriend. 'Go for Lucy!' Lucy's enjoying her call more than her date. Douchey Max (Rick Steadman) isn't insterested in chatting. Left alone again. Lucy offers to give Ally Mark's number, but she demurs. Alone in their apartments, they enjoy a night of pizza and 'Star Wars.'

Mark goes out with a co-worker, even though she isn't his type.

Ally invites her ex-boyfriend over, even though he's a douchebag.

Friends give useless dating advice, Ally regrets her evening with Max,
and Mark and Ally take comfort where they can find it.

Photos by C.M. Gonzalez
Video by Suze Campagna

SUMMARY:  Mark and Ally's parents weren't terribly good influences.  Mark's macho-guy dad was convinced Mark was gay, while Ally's uptight mother thought there was nothing more important in attracting a man than staying thin by any means necessary.  Ally tries internet dating at Lucy's behest.  Lucy says to be super-specific about what you want, but Ally disregards her advice and writes in her profile that she's more interested in a man's ambitions, interests and hobbies.  She ends up receiving a ton of photos of men's penises, but no real responses.  Mark, for his part, has already been trying internet dating, but only got one response, from a multimedia hipster artist named Juneau Alaska.  He doesn't want to meet her, but his friend persuades him to go on the date.  She turns out to be a thoughtful and funny person... but at the end of the date, Juneau says she's just getting out of a relationship and just wants to be friends, and tells him what a "nice guy" he is.  Mark wants to scream, but instead meekly accepts his fate.  That night, Mark and Ally both muse about taking chances. Are they being naive or noble to keep hoping there's someone out there who will love them not just despite, but because of, their flaws?  Ally finds a profile online that makes her smile and sends a message.  There's a "ding" on Mark's laptop...

Although they've never met, Mark and Ally have lots in common. Mark and Ally agree that Graham Chapman is the most underrated member of Monty Python. Both like to root for the underdog - so they voted Libertarian. And both grew up without the best parental supervision... Mark's dad (Eric Curtis Johnson) is sure that Mark is gay. Ally's mother (Andrea Wright) wasn't much better. 'It's okay to be a little anorexic.' Ally just wants to be herself. Max hits a new low. Ally tries internet dating at Lucy's behest. Ally's screen name... 'InfiniteJester.' Mark's screen name is 'MrMacGuffin.' His only response comes from hipster Juneau Alaska (Julia Griswold). From Juneau's hit youtube video, 'Embracing Lonliness.' From Juneau's hit youtube video, 'Embracing Lonliness.' The a date with Juneau goes better than expected, until... 'The thing is, I'm just getting out of a relationship...' Juneau just wants to be friends. Mark screams inside. 'WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?' Mark goes home, beaten but unbowed. Ally finds a profile online that makes her smile. Mark gets a message. 'Hey, I uh, like your screen name.  I'm a big fan of Hitchcock.' Curtain Call

Lucy and Ally discuss the perils of online dating.

Mark, wary of internet dating, meets a hipster multimedia artist.

EPISODE FOUR (4/16/11)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez
Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  Mark and Ally both feel alone in a crowd - Mark's couple friends don't invite him on their double-dates, while Ally's mean friends won't set her up on any dates with their friends. Ally tries to get through to Max, telling him what she really wants out of a relationship, but Max doesn't understand.  She texts Mark, needing someone to talk to.  They decide to meet, but Max arrives unexpectedly. He suddenly realizes he doesn't want to be alone, and is willing to give a relationship a shot.  He suddenly wants to talk about his feelings.  Ally sends Lucy to meet Mark and let him down gently, but insensitive Lucy, not even realizing that Mark's Ally's date, tells him that she's there to "blow off some loser" because Ally's "getting it from her ex-boyfriend."  Dejected, Mark decides that online dating isn't for him.  He goes home and deletes his account, as Ally starts to learn that sometimes the worst thing that can happen... is getting what you want.

Ally alone. Ally alone in a crowd. Mark's friends are all couples.  (Matthew Merchant as 'John', Jessica Gardner as 'Tammy', Shaela Ann Cook as 'Alice' & Curt Bonnem as 'Bob') 'Everyone's a couple!'  Mark doesn't get invited on their double-date. Ally's mean friends. Ally, Lucy, Lauren (Megan Crockett) and Brenda (Vanessa Perkins). Ally tries to have a talk with Max. She confesses she needs someone special waiting for her at home every day. She knows it's corny, but she's moved by the ending of the film 'Armageddon.' Max doesn't understand. Ally texts Mark, needing someone to talk to. It's rare to find somebody who appreciates both 'Cinema Paradiso' and 'Re-Animator.'  They plan a 'Re-Animator' marathon. They bond, and talk about internet acronyms. They decide to meet IRL (In Real Life). An unexpectedly emotional Max suddenly needs to talk. Mark waits for Ally. Lucy lets him know that Ally ain't comin'. Ally finally gets what she thought she wanted.

Mark is shut out of the fun because he doesn't have a date.

Ally and her mean friends talk about dating.

Ally tries to explain to Max what she needs from a relationship.

EPISODE FIVE (4/23/11)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez
Video by Adina Valerio

SUMMARY:  Mark's ideal couple is Bob and Alice, who have been together since college, but Mark's shocked to find that Bob's thinking of leaving her out of boredom. Ally's perfect couple are Brenda and Sam... who subsequently creep her out when they invite her to join them in a threesome.  Ally, frustrated with Max, plans a girls' night in with her oldest, dearest friend Kelly, who tells her she should leave Max; he'll never change.  Meanwhile, Mark has a boys' night out with Bob, who turns out to be friends with Max.  Bob admires the way Max plays the field, and indeed, Max takes a call from a cute blonde he's seeing on the side... he's cheating on Ally.  Back at Ally's, an increasingly drunken Kelly sings "Hold On for One More Day" to Ally.  Elsewhere, a shell-shocked Mark takes a drunken Bob home to Alice, observing their seemingly perfect relationship.  Mark tells a concerned Alice that he's fine.  Meanwhile, as Ally considers leaving Max, Max meets up with his blonde on the side... Lucy.  As much as we'd like to believe others can change... some people never do.

Mark's ideal couple Alice and Bob. Ally's ideal couple, Brendan and Sam (Anthony Backman). Brenda wants Ally to know they really like her company. Ally turns down a threesome. Ally tries to expand Max's horizons. 'No pictures? Ugh!' Mark and Bob have a boy's night out. Bob says he wants to start playing the field again. Ally and her oldest, dearest friend, Kelly (Alyssa Preston). Kelly exhorts Ally to leave Max. Friendship serenade. 'Are you okay, Mark? Really? You don't have to pretend with us.' Girls' night aftermath. Mark's reading the same book as Ally.

Ally gets to know her favorite couple a little better than she had planned.

Ally's oldest, dearest friend Kelly gives her increasingly
drunken relationship advice, which turns into a serenade.

EPISODE SIX (5/21/11)

Photos by C.M. Gonzalez * Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  Both Mark and Ally have a history of being terrible at flirting.  Mark tried too hard when he met Alice, pretending to hate Disney films, and it turned out she loved them as much as he did... and so she ended up with Bob.  Ally, for her part, couldn't flirt without being upstaged by Lucy.  Although she's found herself dating Max, Max can sense he's losing her, so he tries turning up the charm.  He even gets her a puppy... but it turns out that Max merely stole the dog from a neighbor's yard.  Still, Ally held out, hoping, as in the Disney films she loves as much as Mark does, that someday, her prince will come.

Mark (Trey Perkins), like Ally, has always wanted to make an omelet out of cadbury cream eggs. Both will argue until they're hoarse that the end of "Inception" was not a dream. Mark failed at flirting with Allison when he met her. Ally tries to talk about art with Dean (Bryan Bellomo). Lucy embarasses her. Lucy always steals all the attention. Max knows he's losing Ally. Still, he tries to turn on the charm. Max gets her a puppy.  Whose collar reads "If found, please return me to the O'Leary residence." Uh...

Max makes desperate moves when he begins to lose his grip on Ally.


Photos by C.M. Gonzalez * Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  Mark was often rejected for being too nice by women who tell him what a catch he is, while Ally had a history of going on what she thought were dates, but were really evenings of mixed signals with guys who were actually interested in Lucy.  Ally and Lucy go over the pros and cons of dating Max, and Lucy inadvertently reveals that she knows Max is hung like a horse. Meanwhile, Alice has Mark list the attributes of his perfect woman so they can go out and find her... and Mark describes Allison to a tee, though she doesn't realize it.  Max continues to be horrible, gifting Ally with a pornographic "Tijuana Bible" - which contains an inscription showing it to be regifted and was originally given to Max by a former girlfriend.  Mark and Ally both ponder their lists, wondering if they're asking too much to find somebody who meets all their criteria.

On a date with Charlotte (Jessica Sherman), who says Mark's great, but she's not interested. "So you like dumb, ugly, selfish guys, huh?" "See? You get it." On a date with Carl (Joe Egender). Only it's not a date. He's interested in Lucy. Ally kicks herself to the curb to save time. Max's pros and cons. "Con: He got me a subscription to Penthouse." "Pro: At least he remembered your birthday!" "Con: I can't really trust him." "Pro: He's hung like a horse." Wait... how does she know that? Mark prepares for a blind date with a dental hygienist. Bob and Alice offer support. "'To Max, who gives me max-imum pleasure. Love, Heather.'  Max... did you re-gift this?" Max offers two movie choices: The Fast & The Furious 3... or 4. Alice helps Mark make a list of everything Mark wants in his perfect woman. "If she could see herself through my eyes... she probably wouldn't even recognize herself." "Ally, I was wondering... have you put on weight?"

Ally is asked out on a date with Carl for reasons other than romance.


Photos by C.M. Gonzalez * Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  Both Mark and Ally are flummoxed by the games people play.  Mark finds that a seemingly normal woman he goes on a date with has terrible problems, while Ally idoesn't understand why the very intelligent Lucy acts like a bimbo around men.  Mark and Alice attend a 25th Anniversary screening of The Princess Bride... as to Ally and Max, who has to be dragged along and talks through the whole film.  Afterwards, while Ally is in the bathroom, Max says hello to Alice, who is his neighbor, and calls Mark a schmuck for liking the film.  Mark tells him off... and Ally overhears.  That night, both Mark and Ally reflect that if there was someone truly special for them, they were going to be worth waiting for. What neither of them could have known at that moment was that the wait... was almost over.

Both Ally and Mark share a deep and inexplicable fear of clowns. If they could have sex with any celebrity, both would have chosen Christina Hendricks. A date with Molly (Jennifer Smith) goes bad. "What kind of LINE is that - 'hope to see you soon'? Are you blowing me off!? Who the FUCK do you think you ARE?" "I'm a pretty girl!" Lucy goes from quoting Gloria Steinem... ...to playing the bimbo for some guy (JJ Mayes). Alice and Mark go to see "The Princess Bride." "What kind of jerk has to be dragged to 'The Princess Bride'?"  Enter Max. Max spills popcorn all over Mark. Max talks through the film. Max thinks guys who like this film are schmucks.  Mark retorts, "I never wanted to live in a world where believing love conquers all is a bad thing.  So yeah - I'm a real schmuck." Ally overhears. If there was someone truly special for them, they were going to be worth waiting for. What neither of them could have known at that moment was that the wait... was almost over.

Destinies intertwine at the 24th anniversary screening of The Princess Bride.

EPISODE NINE (6/18/11)

Photos by C.M. Gonzalez * Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  Max twists Ally's words every time she tries to break up with him, making it impossible for her to walk away... and Lucy keeps encouraging her to stay with him.  Meanwhile, Bob breaks up with Alice, and she turns to Mark - and alcohol for comfort.  Mark confesses that he's dreamed of kissing her for the last eighteen years, but when she drunkenly kisses him, he pulls away.  It's just not right.  Not like this.  Meanwhile, Ally has an interview with lesbian activist and author, Casey Collins, who helps Ally realize that Lucy is a "stepsister" - a cruel non-friend who is just bitter because she's never fallen in love herself.  Ally returns home to discover Max and Lucy about to sleep together... and collapses in relieved laughter.  She finally breaks up with Max, and gives Lucy the heave-ho as well.  Sometimes, people say that when you least expect it, love happens. Sometimes they say that the moment you put the wrong person behind you is the moment the universe sends you the right person. And sometimes... they're right.  Casey meets up with Mark.  "Brother," she says, "have I got a girl for you."

When Mark and Ally were kids, they both dressed up as Max from "Where the Wild Things Are." Bob tells Mark he's about to break up with Alice. "You just don't understand the pressures of being in a relationship." Mark doesn't sympathize. Ally can't get any attention when Lucy's around. "I KNOW BANKSKY'S TRUE IDENTITY!" Kicked to the curb again. Max twists everything Ally says when she tries to break up with him. Lucy encourages Ally to stay with Max. Wisdom from Max: "Lesbians. There's no such thing." Alice turns to Mark - and alcohol - for comfort when Bob breaks up with her. Ally interviews with lesbian author and activist Casey Collins (Jill Bennett). Casey says that Lucy is a "stepsister." "Imagine if you had to watch everyone around you fall in love, but you never did. Wouldn't that make you bitter?" Casey tells Ally she'll find someone.  Ally kisses her.  "Ally - you're amazing. But you're also hopelessly straight. I don't need another test run. I've already hit my quota." Mark tells Alice she ruined his dating life. Every girl's a tall order compared to her. Happy but confused after a drunken Alice kisses him. Ally goes home to find Max and Lucy together. They at least have the decency to look abashed. "Brother, have I got a girl for you."

Ally is one-upped by her roommate and unnerved by her boyfriend.

EPISODE TEN (6/25/11)

Photos by C.M. Gonzalez * Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  Mark and Ally, at last finding self-respect, turn down bad dates with, respectively, Lucy and a shallow Hollywood asshole.  As Mark helps Casey prepare for a costume ball, Alice admits she's still in love with Bob. And indeed, Bob is still in love with her, and has been desperately trying to call her. He's furious at Max, who tries to set him up with an increasingly lonely and desperate Lucy. Meanwhile, Ally has moved in with Kelly, and is also getting ready to go to the costume ball. Max barges in to try to get Ally back, but she finally tells him off and sends him packing. At Mark's place, a disheveled Bob arrives to beg Alice to take him back. The moment she walked out, he realized what a fool he'd been. For the first time, he asks what Alice wants out of her life. Ally arrives where Casey told her the party was, and, exhausted, starts to fall asleep. Mark arrives and startles her awake. The party is elsewhere, and they quickly realize that Casey has set them up. They also quickly realize how much they have in common. As Bob and Alice reconcile, and Lucy, who has now read Casey's book and realized what was wrong in her life, meets Casey, and the two are attracted. And it transpires that Max hates Kelly because he's inexplicably - to him - both attracted to and terrified of her. Meanwhile, as Ally and Mark lean in for their first kiss, they have to shush the "Princess Bride"-quoting narrator.  They'll take it from here.  But as they kiss, the Narrator has one more thing to say: "This was the story of two people who were made for each other. A man and a woman destined to fall madly in love - who finally found each other."

Mary and Ally are good people who have wasted too much time chasing bad love. And both had recently come to ther realizatoin that they deserved much better. Lucy, realizing how lonely she is, offers Mark another shot. She's shocked when Mark declines. "I wouldn't date you if you swapped bodies with Angelina Jolie and offered to ride me all the way to the Kentucky Derby." Ally finds the self-respect to decline a come-on by asshole Stefan (Gregory Guy Gorden). Turnabout! Ally pushes Stefan to the ground. "Wow! That feels good! I get why people do it now!" Alice is now staying with Mark and Casey. Mark loves realing Ally's columns. "She's... weird. In the best possible way." Alice sheepishly admits she's still in love with Bob. Alice can't stand thinking of Bob living it up while she's "here crying over him like an idiot." Meanwhile, Bob keeps trying to phone Alice, desperately wanting her back, as Max tries to set him up with Lucy. Kelly and Ally are now roomates, and Ally's getting dressed for the ball. Ally wants "someone who chooses the unusual. Who likes the mutt over the purebred... a guy who, when you mention Herman Melville, doesn't go right to 'Moby Dick' but mentions 'Bartleby.'" Max comes crawling back. "What, you think you can do better? You think you're going to get the white knight on the horse to carry you away? It doesn't happy Ally, not for girls like you." "One day," says Ally, "you're going to find someone you're carzy about. And she's going to break your heart. And you're going to finally realize how horribly you treated me... I just want you to know... that I forgive you." A disheveled Bob arrives to beg Alice to take him back. Bob is briefly jealous of Mark's presence. "The second you left I knew what a fool I'd been... when you're gone, for even a minute, I miss you. I want to share everything that happens with you." "I want to know how I can make you happy. What were your hopes and your dreams, before you made a life with me?" "I thought... I thought you'd never ask." A tired Ally arrives at the address Casey gave her for the party and sits down to rest. Mark arrives and startles the nearly-asleep Ally. Ally: "You recognize my name? I'm not exactly Herman Melville." Mark: "Too bad, because I love 'Bartleby.'" They realize that Casey has set them up. A hopefull but still raw Ally warns Mark, "If you ever fuck with me, I'll hurt you." "If I ever fucked with you," replies Mark, "I'd hurt myself." "Wow. Good answer." Bob and Alice reconcile. "In the history of time, there have been many first kisses," says the Narrator, before getting shushed by Ally and Mark. This was the story of two people who were made for each other. A man and a woman destined to fall madly in love - who finally found each other. Curtain Call Curtain Call

Ally meets her Prince Charming.