Welcome to Sacred Fools Theater Company, est. 1997
CLOSE SEASON ONE, July 2005 - July 2006       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio
CLOSE SEASON TWO, Oct. 2006 - July 2007       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio
CLOSE SEASON THREE, Sept. 2007 - July 2008       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio
CLOSE SEASON FOUR, Sept. 2008 - July 2009       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow = Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON FIVE, Sept. 2009 - June 2010       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow = Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON SIX, Sept. 2010 - June 2011       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow = Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON SEVEN, Sept. 2011 - June 2012       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON EIGHT, Sept. 2012 - July 2013       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON NINE, Sept. 2013 - Aug. 2014       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON TEN, Sept. 2014 - May 2015       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON ELEVEN, Sept. 2015 - May 2016       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON TWELVE, Oct. 2016 - May 2017       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE THE NIGHTCAP and Other Miscellany      
10/27/07: A Halloween Song - a song by Richard Levinson
 4/05/08: An Easter Song - a song by Richard Levinson
07/12/08: Patrick Duffy Pays Tribute - Patrick Duffy pays tribute to fallen serials at the 3rd Annual Thurstys
07/12/08: The Proposal Song - a song at the 3rd Annual Thurstys becomes a real marriage proposal!
10/18/08: Biting Political Satire - a song by Richard Levinson
 2/21/09: High Five City - celebrations at our 100th episode
 4/04/09: All The Leaves Are Brown - Terry helps us pass time at vote count
 4/11/09: Dear Back Pain - Joe Hernandez-Kolski wites a breakup letter
 5/02/09: Klagdor & Keely - Klagdor the aspiring-actor robot auditions for "Louis & Keely"
 4/02/11: Send in the Carnies - a song by Richard Levinson
 5/28/11: The Serial Killers Dancers: Bad Karma
 6/25/11: The Serial Killers Dancers: Cannibal
10/08/11: The Serial Killers Dancers: Hell on Heels
 2/11/12: Elvis Prestello: Tramp the Dirt Down
 4/21/12: The Serial Killers Dancers: Backstabber Lady
 6/09/12: The Serial Killers Dancers: Do It Like a Dude
10/06/12: The Serial Killers Dancers: Promises
10/20/12: The Hip News: Vote Dizzy - The Hip News swings the election!
 2/23/13: The Serial Killers Dancers: Hey, Big Spender
 3/02/13: Bela Lugosi's Passion - Cabaret act For Lovers Only combines two great songs.
 4/27/13: The Serial Killers Dancers: Black Sheep
 7/13/13: Joe Dances Dirty - Joe Hernandez-Kolski talks about wanting to be Patrick Swayze
 7/20/13: The Engagement Dance of Walter Trey Perkins & Donnelle Fuller - Our second live-on-stage real-life proposal!
 9/28/13: Russell Sings - Cub Sinatra
10/19/13: Only a Lad - Marz Richards sings to round out your evening.
11/23/13: Karl and Little Joey - Karl describes an outrageous act to his pal Joey.
12/07/13: Karl and Little Joey Apologize - An abject Karl apologizes for last week's act.
12/14/13: Smooth Movementz - The dancing sensation that's sweeping the nation.
02/15/14: For Singles Only - Marz Richards will turn you into a lover.
02/08/14: Khan Khan - A musical number from China: The Whole Enchilada.
02/22/14: Roar and Jump - Michelle Gardner performs dances in American Sign Language.
03/01/14: Smooth Moviementz - Smooth Movementz returns with a salute to the movies.
04/12/14: Lovers Dance Apart - "For Lovers Only" presents a lovers musical mashup.
04/19/14: Giter Brider Itzik & Better Off Without a Wife - The dulcet tones of Bryan Krasner.
04/26/14: Rhune Kincaid - Songs of love and doom.
05/03/14: Zachary Bernstein - Zach sings "I've Got My Eye on You" and "Crispy Crispy Clementine."
05/24/14: Devil Doll - Disturbing doings from Marz Richards.
05/24/14: An Encounter with Sates - Sates sings "Encounter."
07/05/14: Tribute to America - Smooth Movementz presents a July 4 weekend patriotic tribute.
07/19/14: Big Finish - A big finish as many of the Season 9 Nightcaps combine for one mega-Nightcap.
09/13/14: Maral Adams - Stand-up comedy from Maral Adams.
09/20/14: Mr. Snapper & Mr. Buddy Make Whoopee - Thoughts on the most important part of matrimony.
09/20/14: Mr. Snapper & Mr. Buddy Cowboy Up - An old cowhand on the Rio Grande.
09/27/14: Glen Frazier - Stand-up comic Glen Frazier.
10/04/14: Milo Martin - Utopian nihilist and master of poetry Milo Martin performs a new work.
10/11/14: Korey Simeone - A short history lesson about fiddle music.
10/25/14: Your Host, Birthday Clown - Birthday Clown performs Renfield's "Stuntshow."
01/31/15: Karl Herlinger & Little Joey's Dating Tips - Questionable advice.
02/21/15: Michelle Gardner - Lip-sync sign language dance.
02/28/15: Before Dawn - Musical duo from Austin, Texas.
03/07/15: For Lovers Only - "Thunderbass" - Another musical mashup from "For Lovers Only."
04/04/15: A Word From the Producers of 99 Seat Theater - We're in the money.
04/11/15: The Awesome Gentleman's Society - Gentrifying the hip-hops.
04/18/15: Zachary Bernstein & Friends & Enemies - A "No Scrubs" musical interlude.
04/25/15: Jeremy Gayhorse & Uni - Famed stallion Jeremy Gayhorse visits with insight and poetry.
05/02/15: Orange Blossom Special - Korey Simeone (fiddle), Ryan Johnson (keyboard) and Chris Novicki (drum).
05/16/15: Smooth TV Movementz - Smooth Movementz returns with their tribute to television.
09/20/15: The Radioactive Chickenheads - Punk band The Radioactive Chickenheads rock the Nightcap.
09/26/15: Tyler Tyler - The magic of Tyler Tyler.
10/03/15: Red Light District - Red Light District perform a stripped-down version of their music.
10/10/15: Korey Simeone - Maybe - Korey Simeone may or may not be our entertainment tonight.
11/21/15: Nikki Muller - The Cole Porter of vagina songs.
12/05/15: Dinah Steward - A jazzy "Ghostbusters" and an original song from this classy vocalist.
12/12/15: Ari Radousky's Game Show Thing - High-speed trivia, loud and lightning-fast! Can YOU keep up with Ari?
12/19/15: Smooth Movementz - They're back with a salute to one-hit wonders!
02/20/16: Einstein's Girl - Science and romance collide in this musical performance.
02/27/16: Brendan Sings Bowie - Brendan Hunt and Zachary Bernstein pay tribute to the Starman.
03/12/16: Smokey Miles - Three bespoke songs from the human alter-ego of cult-favorite Count Smokula.
04/16/16: Brandon McCulloch - Three songs from balladeer Brandon McCulloch.
10/08/16: Doa Oxford - Doa Oxford sings "Something You Got"
10/15/16: Nate Shelkey - Nate performs the seasonally appropriate "Halloween 1987."
10/22/16: les petits guignolers - in "La Petit Mort" (The Little Death).
10/29/16: SKULLDUGGERY: "Eight Phases" - A musical number from our mainstage show, a prequel to Hamlet.
11/12/16: R.J. Comer - The Gentleman Outlaw sings "Smothered," "Leave Your Light On" and "St. James Infirmary"
02/04/17: Host Segment: Victor Isaac - Handsome can't compensate for some things.
02/25/17: Michelle Gardner: "Creep" & "F*** You" - w/Rodnesha K. Green, Monica Greene & Cj Merriman.
04/08/17: Amir Levi w/Brenda Varda - Excerpts from Amir Levi's cabaret show, with Brenda Varda on keys.
04/15/17: Joe Hernandez-Kolski: "Letter to My Future Wife" - Award-winning Spoken word artist Joe H-K returns.
04/22/17: Ian Smith - Original music.
04/29/17: Tina B. - Spoken word artist Tina B.
05/06/17: Fire Chief Charlie - Local band Fire Chief Charlie perform "Boris" and "We On the Radio."

written by Jenelle Riley
Eps. 1 & 3-8 directed by JJ Mayes
Ep. 2 directed by Colin Willkie
Eps. 9-11 directed by Jenelle Riley
music & lyrics by Brenda Varda

11 Episodes
Original Run: 8 Episodes - 10/2/10 - 12/11/10
Playoffs: 3 Episodes - 5/21/11 - 6/4/11

The world's first second newest vampire musical.


Vanessa Perkins

Anna (Eps. 1-2, 4 & 6-11)
Girlfriend (Ep. 5)

French Stewart

Van (Eps. 1-2, 4, 6-7 & 9-11)

Jaime Andrews

Minnie (Eps. 1 & 3)

Michael Lanahan

Rod (Ep. 1)

Colin Willkie

Todd (Eps. 1 & 3)
Taye (Eps. 7-8)

Henry Dittman

Taye (Eps. 1-2 & 9)

Prince Myshkin

Taye (Ep. 2)


Taye (Ep. 7)

Megan Crockett

Waitress (Ep. 2)

Erin Matthews

Zombira, Concubine of the Night (Eps. 3-8 & 10-11)

Matt Valle

Bob (Ep. 3)
Earl (Eps. 6-7)

Julia Griswold

Young Van (Eps. 3 & 5)
Vanna (Ep. 11)

Alyssa Preston

Van's Mom (Eps. 3, 5-7 & 10-11)

Eric Curtis Johnson

Sheriff Goose (Ep. 4)

Rick Steadman

Sheriff Goose (Ep. 7)

Michael Lanahan

Deputy (Ep. 4)

Curt Bonnem

Dad (Eps. 5-7)

Matthew Merchant

Frankenstein (Eps. 5-7)
Dr. Romero (Ep. 11)

CJ Merriman

Normal Daughter (Eps. 5-7)

Ceasar F. Barajas

Hansel (Eps. 7-8)


Hansel (Ep. 7)

Brendon Broms

Liam (Eps. 7-8)


Liam (Ep. 7)


Himself (Ep. 7)

Brian Wallis &
Scott & Brigitte Lessard

Dog Handlers (Ep. 7)

Lisa Anne Nicolai

Rabbit Handler (Ep. 7)

Marianne Davis

Tricia (Ep. 8)

Mandi Moss

Lupita (Ep. 8)

Jennifer Fenten

Pepita (Ep. 8)

Suzanne Karpinski

Greta (Ep. 8)

Choreography by Marianne Davis (Ep. 5)

"Every Vampire" - Music & Lyrics by Richard Levinson (Ep. 1)
"How Do You Choose?" - Music by Suzanne Karpinski, Lyrics by Jenelle Riley (Ep. 2)

All other songs: Music & Lyrics by Brenda Varda
"Nothing's Going to Stop You"
(Ep. 3)
"Treat Her Well" (Ep. 4)
"Company For Dinner" (Ep. 5)
 (Ep. 6)
"Hurt"  (Ep. 7)
"Hot Under the Collar" (Ep. 8),
"That Ain't Bad"  (Ep. 9)
"Bloodsuckin' Baby Daddy"  (Ep. 10)
"Little Monsters" (Ep. 11)

EPISODE ONE (10/2/10)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez
Video by Ceasar F. Barajas

SUMMARY:  High-schooler Anna moves to a new town, where she meets Van Hansen, the coolest kid in class... and a vampire.  Van Hansen woos her, but she frets that she's in for heartbreak... because every vampire is gay.  Still, she begins to succumb... but their union is protested by Anna's childhood friend Taye, who is in love with her.

'Hey, it's the new girl!  She's new.' (Michael Lanahan, Jaime Andrews & Colin Willkie) Anna (Vanessa Perkins) has no interests or anything that makes her remotely well-rounded as a human being. The local dating scene is lame. However, even the guys agree that Van Hansen is dreamy. Everybody but Anna tries to impress Van Hansen. Van Hansen (French Stewart) Van Hansen woos Anna, and asks her out to dinner at Applebees. 'I HATE YOU!  And I want to be you!' Song: 'Every Vampire.'  Accompanist: Richard Levinson (see video) Vampires #1!  Yah! Anna's childhood friend Taye (Henry Dittman), now all grown up, warns Van Hansen to stay away from Anna. Curtain Call

Anna meets and is wooed by Van Hansen, and expresses her trepidation in song.

EPISODE TWO (10/9/10)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez
Video by Ceasar F. Barajas

SUMMARY:  Van Hansen takes Anna on their first date - dinner at Applebees.  Their date is interrupted by Taye, who continues to warn her away from Van.  Anna sings of her romantic confusion.  Taye hurts Van's feelings, and he runs off... and Taye transforms into a werewolf.  A very small, very cute werewolf.

Dinner at Applebees (Waitress: Megan Crockett) Ordering dinner. (see video) 'One... two... three cups of coffee!  Ah hah hah!' 'I want to ravage you right here, in this economical family-style restaraunt!' Taye arrives to protest again.  'I know you're really handsome and wonderful and treat me like a princess... so you can see why it would never work.' Taye's not transforming into a werewolf... it's just the steroids. Competition. Anna sings of her romantic confusion. (see video) Van, insulted by Taye, leaves. Taye transforms into a 'werewolf' (Prince Myshkin). Curtain Call

Van Hansen orders his dinner.

Van Hansen and Taye compete for Anna's love.  Song: "How Do You Choose?"

EPISODE THREE (10/16/10)
Photos by Andrew Post
Video by Jay Bogdanowitsch

SUMMARY:  Horror-film host Zombira narrates this flashback episode, in which we learn of Van's childhood as a nerdy, unpopular young vampire, teased and tormented by the kids at school.  He runs home crying to his mother, who sings him an inspirational song.  With a renewed sense of purpose and self-worth, Van returns to school the next day... and bites the fuck out of one of his tormentors.  From that point on, he's the coolest kid in school.

Zombira (Erin Matthews), your host for tonight. Van's Mom (Alyssa Preston) and Young Van (Julia Griswold). Van's mom comforts him. Van takes his revenge on his tormentors.

Your host this week: Zombira, Concubine of the Night.

Song: "Nothing's Going to Stop You"

EPISODE FOUR (11/6/10)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez
Video by Jay Bogdanowitsch

SUMMARY:  Anna takes Van home to meet her father, Sheriff Goose, who she's sure will embarass her. It transpires that he has no problem with his daughter dating a thousands-of-years-old vampire... in fact, he encourages Van to sleep with her.  Suddenly, the Deputy rushes in and reports there's been another teenager murdered, her body drained of blood, and the Sheriff vows to catch the killer.

Zombira introduces this week's episode. Van Hansen: Shadow of the Bat Van's worried about meeting Anna's dad. A shadowy figure polishes his gun. Van meets Anna's dad, Sheriff Goose (Eric Curtis Johnson). She begs her father not to embarass her. 'I will treat your daughter with the utmost of respect.  I would not lay a finger in her!' Singing 'Treat Her Well' Singing 'Treat Her Well' The Deputy (Michael Lanahan) reports another dead teen drained of blood. The Sherrif suspects the Mummy, Frankenstein... or possibly an Eskimo. Off on their date as the Shriff vows to catch the killer. Polishing his gun.

Song: "Treat Her Well"

EPISODE FIVE (11/13/10)
Photos by Aaron Francis
Video by Jay Bogdanowitsch

SUMMARY:  Zombira says she's been taken to task for her bad jokes - to no avail.  She tells of the time Young Van took his high school girlfriend home to meet his family.  She loves vampires, but it turns out his family is a confusing melange of monsters - mom's a ghoul, dad's a fairy, brother is a Frankenstein's monster, and sister Esther... well, she's the worst of them all.  Van's sweetheart thinks Esther is completely normal, but after a musical number ("Company For Dinner"), she discovers that Esther is a cannibal, and she's on the menu.

Zombira addresses complaints about her bad jokes. (see video) Young Van brings his girlfriend home. Mom says not to question the logic of their magical universe. Dad (Curt Bonnem) is a fairy. Brother (Matthew Merchant) is a Frankenstein's monster. He's actually quite eloquent.  Don't buy into the stereotypes. Like this one. Sister Esther (CJ Merriman) seems normal.  The family's terrified of her. Song: 'Company For Dinner' (see video) Song: 'Company For Dinner' (see video) Esther's a cannibal. Van despairs - his family ruins everything. Tucking into dinner.  Yum!

Zombira addresses complaints about her bad jokes.

Song: "Company For Dinner"

EPISODE SIX (11/20/10)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez

SUMMARY:  Van takes Anna to meet his family for Thanksgiving. He hasn't been home in years, and is shocked to find his home a dump and his family in a degenerate state. It seems they've all switched from drinking real blood to drinking blood substitute "Real Gore." The family, prodded by Esther, cajoles Van to try it... and he goes wild and attacks Anna.

Zombira once again gets us up to speed. These are the jokes, folks! Family Reunion Mom thinks she's got a gentleman caller, while Frank has a migraine. Esther is more evil than ever - she's working for BP. Van samples the 'Real Gore' blood substitute. Van says he feels fine... just before attacking Anna. Van's about to attack Zombira.  'NO MORE FUCKING JOKES!' Curtain Call

Photos by C.M. Gonzalez
Video by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY:  Taye brings his werewolf friends to save Anna from Van's cannibal family. There's a dogfight (with actual dogs portraying the werewolves), and they manage to rescue Anna. Later, Van calls to apologize, and Anna sings a song ("Hurt") about how much he hurt her.  Will Anna ever trust Van again?

Zombira hasn't really thought her jokes through.  So what else is new? The voracious, virile, vampire Van... ...and boring old Anna. Anna is beset by Van's cannibal family. Clueless Sherriff Goose (Rick Steadman) is no help. Taye (Colin Willkie) and his werewolf friend Liam (Brendon Broms). Hurty hurt hurt... oh, how she hurts.

Zombira starts to catch us up on the story so far,
but, as usual, gets distracted with her jokes.

Song: "Hurt"

EPISODE EIGHT (12/11/10)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez

SUMMARY:  Taye, attempting to woo Anna, introduces her to other human/werewolf couples, showing her how happy they are despite the danger of being mauled.  They all sing a song about the pleasures of dating a werewolf ("Hot Under the Collar").  However, Lupita, a she-werewolf arrives.  She says she's destined for Taye, who turned her as a baby, "which is totally not creepy at all"... and she wants to fight Anna for him.

Zombira says that Anna is 'so dense, she could get hit by a parked car.' Zombira says that Anna is 'so stupid, she tried to drop acid and the car battery fell on her foot.' Anna overhears Zombira's jokes. 'I can hear you... I have feelings...' 'No, you don't.' 'Thank goodness when my relationship turned life-threatening, I had another relationship on the side to save me.' Greta (Suzanne Karpinski). Liam (Brendan Broms) and Tricia (Marianne Davis). Song: 'Hot Under the Collar' Song: 'Hot Under the Collar' Song: 'Hot Under the Collar' She-wolves Lupita (Mandi Moss) and Pepita (Jennifer Fenten). Lupita's willing to fight Anna for Taye. Time for the dogfight to become a catfight. Curtain Call

EPISODE NINE (5/21/11)

Photos by C.M. Gonzalez * Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  Anna writes to her pen pal about her romantic confusion, trying to decide between Van and Taye.  They once again compete for her love in song ("That Ain't Bad"), but once Anna reveals that she's pregnant and doesn't know who the father is, they both skedaddle.

Anna writes to her pen pal. "Things are exciting as always. My lupus is acting up again." Van's such a charmer. "Van... take me away from this dull and dreary life." "Yes! I will take you to Applebee's! I got a Groupon!" The return of Taye, who's totally not a werewolf. Competing for Anna's love. Woof. Their ardor is cooled when Anna reveals she's pregnant and doesn't know who the father is.

Anna and Van profess their love for one another.

Anna is wooed with an uptempo number by eternal vampire Van and totally-not-a-werewolf Taye.

EPISODE TEN (5/28/11)

Photos by C.M. Gonzalez * Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  Van runs home to his mother, hoping to ditch Anna and resume his swinging bachelor lifestyle.  However, once it becomes clear that Van is the father and not Taye, his mother is thrilled at the thought of being a grandma, and pressures Van in song to return to Anna ("Bloodsuckin' Baby Daddy").  Van is finally persuaded to return to Anna's arms... just as her water breaks.

"Your father works hard to put blood on the table and give you a coffin to sleep in!" "I had to dump Anna 'cause she got so fat. Am I right?" "She did it with a werewolf!  People style, not doggie style! I HATE THE BABY!" Anna knows Van's the father. She's craving steak tartare. The baby doesn't just kick: he bites. Her morning sickness goes away when she listens to the Smiths. And the ultrasound sparkles! Van is convinced through song to return to Anna's arms. "My water just broke." "Well, don't just stand there... mop it up!" Van panics. "Take me to Applebee's! WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE ME TO APPLEBEE'S?"

Vampire Van gets some advice from his mom regarding his impending fatherhood.


Photos by C.M. Gonzalez * Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  At Muskatonic Hospital, Anna is about to give birth, attended by Dr. Romero, a zombie. Van still isn't convinced the baby is his. Her pregnancy has progressed at an alarming late, and she gives birth to a full-grown child named Vanna. Despite the child's appearance, Van still isn't sure the baby's his.

"Why do vampires make such good artists? 'Cause they're always drawing blood!" "What is a vampire's favorite flavor ice cream? Vein-illa!" Anna's getting nervous about her pregnancy. Dr. Romero (Matthew Marchant), a zombie. The zombie doctor eats his loose skin, and Van joins in. "The skin is the best part! Crispy!" Van is unsympathetic. "Oh, you don't wanna burst into flames?" This pregnancy sounds worse and worse. Vanna (Julia Griswold) is born. Van's still not sure the child is his.