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written by Curt Bonnem & Jimmy Swan
directed by Curt Bonnem
theme composed & performed by Michael Teoli

3 Episodes
12/4/10 - 1/22/11

The story of a young girl's unique gift which launches her
on an amazing adventure through life, love, fame and fortune.
One woman's sh*t is another man's gold...

Theme From "Memoirs of a Scheissefrau"


Erin Holt

Scheissefrau (Eps. 1-3)

Jaime Robledo

Old Scheissefrau (Eps. 1-3)

Marz Richards

Helmut (Eps. 1 & 3)
Capra (Ep. 2)

Alyssa Preston

Mutter (Ep. 1)

Nipper Seaturtle

Mutter (Ep. 2)

Matt Valle

The Dancer (Eps. 1-3)

Jimmy Swan

Charlie (Ep. 1)
Mick (Ep. 2)

Kyle Nudo, Suzanne Karpinksi,
Charlotte Gallagher, David McCallum
& Michelle Faraone

Schoolchildren & Hippie Partners (Ep. 1)

Michael Lanahan

Greta (Ep. 2)

Terry Tocantins

Jimmy (Ep. 2)

Jesse Merlin

Andy (Ep. 2)

Trey Perkins, Jimmy Swan, David Mayes,
Mikaela Richmond & Brian Wallis

Ensemble (Ep. 2)

Sean Sweeney

Rubell (Ep. 3)

Colin Willkie

Sylvester (Ep. 3)

Trey Perkins & Brendan Broms

Club Goers / Acting Students (Ep. 3)

EPISODE ONE (12/4/10)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez

SUMMARY:  The aged Scheissefrau recalls her long and storied life.  As a child, the other kids wouldn't let her play - except for kind Helmut, who loved her. She dropped her first scheisse and everyone made fun of her. She ran home to Mutter, who told her she was gifted and special. However, fearing she'd grow up like her grandmother, they traveled the world. On her 15th birthday, on a trip to L.A., she met Charles Manson... and, after an acid trip, dropped scheisse on his face.

The aged Scheissefrau (Jaime Robledo) tells her story. The schoolchildren shun young Scheissefrau (Erin Holt). Young Helmut (Marz Richards) loves Scheissefrau. A major movement in her life is about to happen. Joy!  The Scheissefrau's first scheisse. Helmut is the only one who understands. Seeking comfort in the arms of Mutter (Alyssa Preston). They plan a long trip overseas. Scheissefrau meets Charlie Manson (Jimmy Swan). She makes the scheisse upon his face.

EPISODE TWO (12/11/10)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez
Video by Joseph Beck

SUMMARY:  Mutter tells Scheissefrau about her grandmother, Greta, who also had the scheisse "it factor." In 1945, she was to star in "It's a Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart, playing Mary. She made scheisse on the set, and that was the end of her film career. However, Scheissefrau ran away to New York City, where she ended up working with Andy Warhol at the Factory. He tells her that everyone's an artist... even those who are full of shit. When she takes a dump on Andy's tomato soup painting, a new star is born.

Mutter (Nipper Seaturtle) tells Scheissefrau about her grandmother Greta. Hollywood, 1945. Greta (Michael Lanahan) and Jimmy Stewart (Terry Tocantins). Greta demonstrates her special talent. 'It's like you know my secrets,' said Jimmy, just before firing her. Coprophage Capra (Marz Richards). Scheissefrau will not take Mutter's advice. At Andy Warhol's Factory. Meeting Warhol (Jesse Merlin). 'Some people make money.  Some people make love.  Some people make war.  I make all of them.  It's called 'art.'' Oops... that's not soup, it's paint thinner. Scheissefrau feels strange... A new star is ready for her fifteen minutes. Curtain Call

Something goes wrong with The Dancer's dance.

Photos by C.M. Gonzalez
Video by Aaron Francis

SUMMARY:  The mysterious Dancer is interrupted in his dance.  A hooded figure announces to the citizens of the Solar Federation that they have assumed control.  Meanwhile, Old Scheissefrau continues to tell us her life story.  After acting in one of Warhol's films, she became a dancer at Studio 54. The nonstop dancing exhausted her, until Steve Rubell introduced her to "booger sugar" - a.k.a. cocaine. Her schiesse, however, got her fired. She then took acting classes, where her diminutive teacher told her to do "whatever comes natural." And so... she did.

The Dancer's dance is interrupted. My god... he's full of stars. Dancing at Studio 54. Feeling a bit tired after too much dancing. A little 'booger sugar' perks her up. Acting classes with Mick (Jimmy Swan). 'I want you to make a bigger movement than Beethoven's 5th!' Sylvester (Colin Willkie) 'ain't got no heart, kid.' Perspiration plus inspiration. Bowing to the inevitable. 'YO, SCHEISSEFRAU!' Curtain Call

Scheissefrau appears in a Warhol film, then joins an acting class.