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created by Carrie Keranen & Corey Klemow
directed by Alexander Yannis Stephano

Ep. 1 by Carrie Keranen & Corey Klemow
Ep. 2 by Alexander Yannis Stephano
Eps. 3-4 by Carrie Keranen, Alexander Yannis Stephano & Corey Klemow
Ep. 5 by Alexander Yannis Stephano & Carrie Keranen

It ain't happening here!

5 Episodes
Original Run: 2 Eps, 4/21/12 - 4/28/12
Playoffs: 3 Eps, 5/26/12, 6/9/12 & 6/16/12


Corey Klemow

Jenkins (Eps. 1-5)

Carrie Keranen

Pfister (Eps. 1-5)

Rick Steadman

Stevens (Ep. 1)
Alien Leader (Ep. 3)
Infant Voice (Ep. 4)

Monica Greene

Yarnell (Ep. 1)
Infant Voice (Ep. 4)
The Voice of God (Eps. 4-5)

David Ross Paterson

Boss (Ep. 1)

Adam Bitterman

Alien Leader (Eps. 1-2 & 4)
The Devil (Ep. 5)

Brian Allen

Jesus (Ep. 5)

EPISODE ONE (4/21/12)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez
Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  Bitter rivals Pfister and Jenkins are both up for a big promotion, but they just can't stop fighting with one another.  Their uncooperative antics in the boardroom end up getting them fired; they can't even share a box of donuts without it turning into a knock-down, drag-out scuffle.  But before they can get into a fight over whose fault it was that they got fired, an alien spaceship lands, and their leader informs them that they must cooperate... or the human race will be annihilated! 

Mr. Jenkins and Ms. Pfister have a spat in the board room of a major corporation.

EPISODE TWO (4/28/12)
Photos by Drew Vandiver
Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  Pfister and Jenkins are horrified to discover that the aliens want them to reproduce.  They awkwardly attempt to court.  However, their fight over a box of donuts is misinterpreted by the aliens as a mating ritual, and they are told they have done well... but are now expected to give birth.  And with a pair of zaps, both Pfister AND Jenkins find themselves pregnant!

Mr. Jenkins and Ms. Pfister receive further instructions on how the aliens plan to test them.

Photos by Addi Gaash
Video by Annette Fasone

SUMMARY:  Pfister and Jenkins try to deal with their newfound pregnant state, but, as usual, end up fighting.  As they pummel each other's bellies, the unexpectedly pleased alien leader informs them that they have properly softened each others' wombs up for birth, and they are now ready.  And with that, their water breaks...

Softening Rituals.

Video by Ben Rock
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez

SUMMARY:  Pfister and Jenkins are charged with caring for their newborns.  They do a terrible job of it, but when they find that their fighting is the only thing that quiets the infants' crying, they willingly strangle each other to death, thus satisfying the alien that they are willing to do anything for their children.  Pfister and Jenkins awake in heaven, where God tells them fighting isn't allowed... and failure to comply will mean annihilation of their souls.

The office workers that have been forced into cooperative activities
by the alien care for their offspring in the bleakest way possible.

EPISODE FIVE (6/16/12)
Photos by C.M. Gonzalez

SUMMARY:  The deceased Pfister and Jenkins try and fail to stop fighting in heaven, despite entreaties from Jesus himself.  They end up accidentally killing Jesus, and are cast down into Hell, where the Devil gloats that he's been waiting for them.