SUMMARY: A very serious Peter, stung by the death
of Me and My Friend Marian last season, decides to
lecture us on the true meaning of Christmas: dramatic irony.
Julia sings "Do You Wanna Do a Show, Man?" to try to get him to
lighten up, but it's not until Marian tells Peter he can't be
friends with him any more that Peter's goofy side returns, and
he and the rest of his friends and enemies host the show.
He tries to get Julia to play "Slutsy the Sailor" which she
still says is never gonna happen, though she'd be happy to play
Godzilla again. They play "Fuck, Marry, Christmas" as they
read through the cast list of the first serial of the night.
Later, as they pimp Sacred Fools' current productions, they get
Peter's adopted "twin" sister Monica to do the promo.
Peter and Monica try to read the next serial's cast list simultaneously, but they can't manage it; however, Monica and
Mr. Montabello, who are genuinely brother and sister - and had
developed a romantic attraction to one another before they found
out - are able to read the cast list for a serial in perfect
sync, all the while fighting their passion for one another.
Before the final serial of the night, they need to stretch for
time while actors are changing, so Peter forces Mr. Montabello
to wear a wig and read a terrible script in which Peter is a
Catholic gypsy priest in 1938 Berlin questioning his faith, and
Mr. Montabello is Hildegard, a 19-year-old Jewish girl hiding
from the Nazis. Marian and Avril Lavigne don't want to
play Nazis, so they instead dress up as a reindeer and a cat.
At the end of the show, Peter finally gets his Christmas wish:
how Me and My Friend Marian would have ended after the
serial died back in June: "We travel through time, we stop being
friends, we become friends again, and it turns out Monica and
Mr. Montabello were never twins after all and they could finally
find happiness and love." As Monica and Mr. Montabello make out passionately, Peter
and Marian wave goodbye to us all, along with Julia, in costume
as Slutsy at last. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO US ALL!