Matthew Patrick Davis
Puppets by Erika
Salomon & Rachel Howe (Ep. 10)
Natasha Norman (Ep. 16)
by C.M. Gonzalez
EPISODE ONE (1/31/09)
Photos this week by Amber Rey
Terrence (Scott Leggett), a novelist,
famous for his great work, "The Tobacconist."
Terrence was just enjoying "a sexy piece of
fruit"... in this case, an apple. He eats
apples like he kisses women: it's lots of fun, but it
doesn't mean you're getting in.
Terrence, whose cat, Twitters, ran away two weeks ago, finds a
manuscript that appears to have been written by... Twitters!
It starts off with
gibberish, then slowly resolves into words, and then
characters and dialogue...
like Twitters was slowly trying to understand what it meant to
Bab (Lauren Nasman) and Dan (Sean Sweeney),
characters in Twitters' play.
Twitters experiments with conflict: a
new character (Brendan Hunt) suddenly
runs in and takes Bab and Dan's food, then is never seen again.
Tonal shift! Suddenly, instead of
discussing food stores, green paper
or emotions, an Accordion Man (Eric Johnson) sings a song about
Twitters addresses Terrence directly through
Bab and Dan's
dialogue. They tell him to look in the basement, where he'll
find... something amazing. "This story is starting to get
says Terrence, taking a big bite of the apple. "Want in?"
EPISODE TWO (2/7/09)
This week, Terrence is accompanied by a
Terrence demonstrates his love of pineapple.
Twitters created the characters of Dan and Bab,
perhaps to start to try to understand human behavior.
Twitters' manuscript inexplicably contains two
characters wholly unrelated
to anything else in his story, Smacky (Henry Dittman) and Chaz
Terrence reads of Smacky and Chaz for the first time.
inexplicable musical number. (Featuring Eric Johnson as
and Kat Bardot and Jennifer Fenten as "Accordion Dancers")
The manuscript instructs Terrence to go to the
basement to find "something amazing."
He finds a kitten (Corey Klemow)... no, a book... no, a kitten. There's a
note on the kitten/book.
Terrence reads it... and says, "You're right, Twitters.
This IS amazing."
EPISODE THREE (2/14/09) Photos this week by Angela Carper Lanahan
This week, Terrance loves a kiwi.
note says the boy is a kitten named Socks, but he says that's
The note also says, "He is not real" - and to ask him about his
But, OH NO...
...Socks' play is about Smacky and Chaz! How can this be?
Socks says that Twitters helped him write it.
Elsewhere, Kit (Heather Klinke) is being read
a bedtime story
by her mother, Jessica (Emily Kosloski). And the story...
Terrence. It's the story we've been following all this
Things get even stranger when Kit stays up to
continue reading... and Terrence begs her not to stop.
It turns out that Kit ALSO has a cat named Twitters who hasn't
come home. Terrence tells her
that she needs to join him in the story. All she has to do
is jump in. He'll catch her...
EPISODE FOUR (2/21/09)
week's naughty fruit: the tomato.
Socks - whose real name is Chad - meets Smacky
blown off course as she fell into the book, is caught by Dan and
They tell her she's in a beautiful story, but a dangerous one...
become scared when she mentions Twitters is her cat.
"You haven't met the Twitters in here," they tell her.
In the real world, Jessica asks Kit's creepy
Lacey (Jennifer Fenten) if she knows where Kit's vanished to.
Lacey creeps Jessica out, and Terrence gives a
history of the tomato.
EPISODE FIVE (2/28/09)
week's naughty fruit: the watermelon.
Terrence talks about his love of watermelon.
A watermelon - somewhat used - for a lucky
Bab and Dan admit they don't know where
Twitters is... they just
wanted Kit to stay with them so they could see what it's like
to have a family. Finding Twitters would be dangerous.
gets stuck in a story written by Smacky and Chaz.
Smacky and Chaz make Chad wear
a funny hat and do a little butt dance.
Chaz write the end of Chad's scene: he
and Kit meet, and instantly fall in love.
Chad's so smitten that when he finds out Kit loves cats, he lets
her call him Socks.
However, Lacey has an evil plan. Shhhhh.
lures Kit back to the real world, and then screams "FUCK YOU,
again and again. Her shouts terrify all the characters in
And with good reason. Twitters (Brendan
Hunt), tended to by the Accordion Man,
just wanted to write a story that would transcend that which is
cat in him and
result result in the sublime, but his creations have turned on
him, and so they
shall be plunged into darkness... forever! He closes his
book, and the lights go out.
can't keep us in darkness forever, Twitters," says Terrance.
make my own light. This story isn't over. Not by a long shot."
EPISODE SIX (3/28/09)
This week's sexy fruit: the blueberry... a
Gargamel's wet dream.
In the dark: ? Kit and Lacey search for Twitters ? Chad is searching for Kit with Dan and Bab, then
off on his own when they're unable to focus on that task ? Terrence finds Twitters' original manuscript, and does
some rewrites in order to bring the lights back up... but the
also come on, initiating an interlude with Smacky and Chaz.
Twitters is upset that he's lost control of
the story, and is even more upset
when the Accordion Man tells him Terrence is responsible.
Terrence loves me!" The Accordion Man says that Twitters
meet Terrence at the catfish pond... and then stab him.
Meanwhile, Kit and Lacey are now lit by
moonlight. Kit reads in Lacey's book
that Lacey will find a cat at the catfish pond, comfort him...
then strangle him.
Where did Lacey get this book? From a man... a man with an
doubt about it," Terrence tells us. "Tomorrow, someone is
going to die."
EPISODE SEVEN (4/4/09)
This week's sexy fruit: the banana.
Terrence reads in the manuscript that he meets Twitters at the
catfish pond... so he does.
Twitters learned English by staring at the spines of Terrence's
books for years and years.
Twitters just wanted to make Terrence proud. "You think I
don't respect you?"
"You're a famous novelist. I clean my butthole with my face. I
sensed an imbalance."
Ultimately, Twitters can't kill Terrence... he sold his knife to
a "hairy man."
Twitters bringing the lights up leads to
another interlude with Smacky and Chaz...
who he doesn't remember writing into his play.
To save Twitters, Terrence makes him flee the
catfish pond... but little does he know what he's set in motion.
Chad arrives at the pond, still searching for Kit... but Lacey
finds him first. Kit loves cats, so Chad
has let Kit and Lacey think he's a cat named Socks. Lacey
read in the book that she was to strangle
at cat at the catfish pond... so she strangles Chad.
Kit finds Chad's body.
The Accordion Man tells Lacey that she killed
the wrong cat.
And to make matters worse, says the Accordion
Man, he's not even dead.
The the book says somebody will die today... and indeed...
...Smacky is dead, stabbed in the back with a
EPISODE EIGHT (4/11/09)
This week's sexy fruit: the eggplant.
Within Twitters' story, Terrence finds a copy
of his own novel,
"The Tobbaconist"... but oddly altered by Twitters.
The Accordion Man tells Lacey to finish the
job and kill Chad.
Chad, believing Kit betrayed him and asked Lacey
try to kill him,
has been transformed. He's out for vengeance... and she's
going to die.
Chaz, looking for Smacky, meets Dog (Joe Fria)...
who says he knows how to bring Smacky back.
Tobbaconist" - and Chaz tries to deal with the loss of Smacky.
EPISODE NINE (4/18/09)
This week's sexy fruit: a delightful bowl of
Dog's ritual, involving things Smacky loved,
works - Smacky lives again!
Twitters sings Terrence a song to try to beg
Menwhile, Chad has murdered Kit. His
face still bloody, Lacey kisses and seduces him.
Dog confronts Terrence over a woman named
"You broke my heart." "No, YOU broke your heart."
"I thought she was real..." says Dog, then eats a berry.
"It tastes just like her," he says.
"I want you to make things right," says Dog.
"Have you ever wondered why I fuck fruit?" says
Terrence to the audience. "You're about to find out."
EPISODE TEN (4/25/09)
This week's sexy fruit: the peach.
The ghost of a woman named Penelope (Rachel
Germaine), who Terrence
and Dog used to see working at the Farmer's Market, haunts
asking again and again, "Answer me one question..."
Terrence is discomfited, and needs to take a
so he gives us an interlude with Chaz and Smacky.
puppets were built last week by fans Erika Salomon
and Rachel Howe, and written into the show!)
caked with Kit's blood, Chad and Lacey enjoy a post-coital
Lacey poisons Chad with a peach. He's
served his purpose. Lacey's pregnant.
Dog and Twitters join forces to destroy
"Answer me one question... WHY DID YOU KILL
EPISODE ELEVEN (5/2/09)
This week's sexy fruit: the pomegranate.
Chaz and Smacky perform some Pinter.
Smacky and Chaz present: Harold Pinter's
Bab and Dan emerge from the story to
fetch Kit's mother. "We'll take you to her!"
Lacey's about to give birth, but as the child
Twitters exclaims, "That don't look right! That don't
look like a person! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"
Chad, dead, is in Hell.
And Dog is threatening to send Terrence there
story of Dog and Terrence's enmity.
EPISODE TWELVE (5/30/09) - PLAYOFFS WEEK ONE!
This week's sexy fruit: the honeydew.
Chaz and Smacky are horrified to find
themselves in Hell,
but quickly recover and decide to go to a disco to meet ladies.
Chad meets Dog in Hell.
They find a weeping Penelope - turns out that
really was her name after all - but
she won't go back to the land of the living. She's
terrified and says that "He'll be mad."
Who? The man who created all of this. She's seen his
face. And she runs off.
is this man that she's talking about? Not me. Not Twitters.
Whoever it is, one thing is for certain - A CAT DID NOT WRITE
EPISODE THIRTEEN (6/6/09) - PLAYOFFS WEEK TWO! Stills taken from video by Suze Campagna
This week's sexy fruit: corn.
At the disco, Smacky meets Jackie (Jaime
Andrews)... and she
promises to set Chaz up with her friend Jaz. It's short
And it turns out that Chaz is short for Chazmin! YAY!
Though they can't find the real Penelope
again, Chad suggests writing
a letter to the fictional Penelope - who for all intents and
"died" when Terrence's letters stopped - to see if she writes
"Vacation in hell, YAY!"
Jessica is finally reunited with Kit.
"It seems I'm not just a narrator any
Terrence remembers a magical, mysterious night from his youth,
and Jessica's search for Kit will change all their lives...
EPISODE FOURTEEN (6/13/09) - PLAYOFFS WEEK THREE! Photos by C.M. Gonzalez, plus stills taken from video by Suze Campagna
Terrence has forgotten to bring a fruit this
so Kit gives him a pear she found here... in hell.
The fruit brings visions of things that are happening now.
Dog writes a letter to the fictional Penelope,
with Chad's "help."
"How do I send it?" "Just... let go."
The letter flaps and flies away.
Jackie introduces her friend Jaz (Tifanie
Jaz 'n' Chaz.
Jessica tells Terrence that they must
defeat Bird - he has no soul.
"You'd be surprised what a person can do without one."
Meanwhile, Lacey finally gives birth... to a
The Accordion Man orders her to open it and
"In walks the Bird." (David LM McIntyre)
terrified by the Bird's power.
In walks the
EPISODE FIFTEEN (6/20/09) - PLAYOFFS WEEK FOUR! Photos by Juliette Storace, plus stills taken from video by Suze Campagna
This week's sexy fruit: the orange.
Dan has a present for Terrence, who is his
Dancing Oranges! (C.M. Gonzalez & Julia
Dan plans to propose to Bab, as Chad follow's
love letter (Kelsey Wedeen) through the Underworld.
And a love letter in Hell is a very powerful thing.
Jaz and Chaz's first date goes well.
"You know those pictures you
have in your head of what the rest of your life is gonna be
I'm gonna have to take all those pictures and paste you in."
leads Chad to Kit at last. He tearfully apologizes, and they reconcile.
She wonders why she still has cuts and bruises all over her face when he
He shows her it comes off easily. Such is the power of love, even in Hell.
Bird, who is
mute but can make others speak for him with a mere touch (although Twitters just
so he sticks with Lacey), spells out his plans for world domination. A
walk on the beach, kill all the humans, then
maybe a massage. But first... someone has to die. But who? He
whispers the name to Jessica.
that keeps her from uttering the name.
But I know the name. Because it's mine."
EPISODE SIXTEEN (6/27/09) - PLAYOFFS WEEK FIVE!
This week's sexy fruit: the kumquat.
Say it with me now: "Kumquat."
Kit and Chad
need souls to escape Hell - they lost theirs when they died -
and happen to run into soul salesman Rick (Bryan Krasner), who gives
them a special: with every two souls, they get an extra soul.
But what are they gonna do with an extra soul?
his associate, Kyle (Colin Willkie).
Kyle's 36 years old, and Rick has stolen his soul.
gone missing, so Chaz and Jaz go to
visit Smacky's mom, Jenniferackie (Pat Towne).
likes to play slinky better than watching "Damages."
And she's glad that her son has such good friends.
Dog finds the
How real can
their love be?
to see The Bird to find out why he has to die.
"Do you really think you're trapped in this story?" he asks.
The Bird frees Lacey... then has him wait with the Accordion Man.
over the narration. "Terrence was waiting for his killer to arrive.
And somewhere deep down inside, he was fine with that. He knew that
somehow, his death would help save all of his friends. So he waited.
And as he waited, he felt a joy bubble up from out of his soul."
cast joins in an explosion of joy.
surrenders himself to his fate.
Joy from the
EPISODE SEVENTEEN (7/11/09) - PLAYOFFS WEEK SIX (FINALS)! Photos by Juliette Storace
This week's sexy fruit: the apple. We've
come full circle.
And Terrence remembers that he's dying... he's been shot by
is dying herself. She's begun to bleed and cough; without
a soul, she'll fade away.
Dog is distraught. The real Penelope doesn't like
pistachio or dasies like her...
but the real Penelope doesn't know anything about Dog. She
does. And that's why he loves her.
The Accordion Man explains to Lacey why
Terrence must die.
Jaz and Jenniferackie find that Smacky's simply been marching around the forest,
berate him for running off like that. An argument ensues, but eventually,
it all works out, because...
Kit and Chad have resolved to give their extra
soul to Penelope...
but they run into the Bird en route, and he has other plans.
Kyle wants to
buy his soul back from Rick. Dan supports him. In the
ensuing struggle, the suitcase breaks open... and the souls inside take flight.
Everyone without a soul suddenly gets one...
Penelope. It's too late. She'd died
moments earlier, and then burned off like the mist.
is not lost. Dog, armed with a new soul,
decides to find the real Penelope, and say the things to
her that he couldn't say so long ago. It's a new beginning.