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written & directed by Padraic Duffy
additional music by Kubilay Uner

17 Episodes
Original Run: 1
/31/09 - 5/2/09
Playoffs: All 6 Episodes - 5/30/09 - 6/27/09 & 7/11/09

Who doesn't love a good yarn?



Scott Leggett

Terrence (Eps. 1-16)

Sean Sweeney

Dan (Eps. 1-2, 4-8, 13 & 16)

Lauren Nasman

Bab (Eps. 1-2, 4-8, 13 & 16)

Brendan Hunt

Jim (Ep. 1)
Twitters (Eps. 5-7, 9-11 & 14-15)

Eric Johnson

Accordion Man (Eps. 1-2, 5-11, 14 & 16)

Colin Willkie

Trap Operator (Ep. 1)
Puppeteer (Eps. 4-5 & 14)
Kyle (Ep. 16)

Natasha Norman

Accordion Dancer (Ep. 1)

Jennifer Fenten

Accordion Dancer (Eps. 1-2)
Lacey (Eps. 4-11 & 14-16)

Kat Bardot

Accordion Dancer (Ep. 2)

Paul Plunkett

Chaz (Eps. 2-16)

Henry Dittman

Smacky (Eps. 2-7 & 9-14)

Corey Klemow

Chad/Socks (Eps. 2-16)

Emily Kosloski

Jessica (Eps. 3-4, 11 & 13-16)

Heather Klinke

Kit (Eps. 3-8 & 13-16)

Joe Fria

Dog (Eps. 8-14 & 16)

Rachel Germaine

Penelope (Eps. 10-12 & 16)

Jaime Andrews

Jackie (Eps. 13-14)

Tifanie McQueen

Jaz (Eps. 14-16)

David LM McIntyre

The Bird (Eps. 14-16)

C.M. Gonzalez & Julia Griswold

The Orange Dancers (Ep. 15)

Kelsey Wedeen

Love Letter Puppeteer (Ep. 15)

Bryan Krasner

Rick (Ep. 16)

Pat Towne

Jenniferackie (Ep. 16)

Alicia Wollerton
Daniel Corral
Matthew Patrick Davis

Accordion Band (Ep. 16)

Puppets by Erika Salomon & Rachel Howe (Ep. 10)

Choreography by Natasha Norman (Ep. 16)

by C.M. Gonzalez

EPISODE ONE (1/31/09)
Photos this week by Amber Rey

Meet Terrence (Scott Leggett), a novelist,
famous for his great work, "The Tobacconist."

Terrence was just enjoying "a sexy piece of fruit"... in this case, an apple.  He eats
apples like he kisses women:  it's lots of fun, but it doesn't mean you're getting in.

Terrence, whose cat, Twitters, ran away two weeks ago, finds a mysterious
manuscript that appears to have been written by... Twitters!  It starts off with
gibberish, then slowly resolves into words, and then characters and dialogue...
like Twitters was slowly trying to understand what it meant to be human.

Bab (Lauren Nasman) and Dan (Sean Sweeney), characters in Twitters' play.

Twitters experiments with conflict:  a new character (Brendan Hunt) suddenly
runs in and takes Bab and Dan's food, then is never seen again.

Tonal shift!  Suddenly, instead of discussing food stores, green paper
or emotions, an Accordion Man (Eric Johnson) sings a song about tuna.

Twitters addresses Terrence directly through Bab and Dan's
dialogue. They tell him to look in the basement, where he'll
find... something amazing.  "This story is starting to get juicy,"
says Terrence, taking a big bite of the apple.  "Want in?"

EPISODE TWO (2/7/09)

This week, Terrence is accompanied by a pineapple.

Terrence demonstrates his love of pineapple.

Twitters created the characters of Dan and Bab,
perhaps to start to try to understand human behavior.

Twitters' manuscript inexplicably contains two characters wholly unrelated
to anything else in his story, Smacky (Henry Dittman) and Chaz (Paul Plunkett).

Terrence reads of Smacky and Chaz for the first time.

An inexplicable musical number.  (Featuring Eric Johnson as "Accordion Man"
and Kat Bardot and Jennifer Fenten as "Accordion Dancers")

The manuscript instructs Terrence to go to the basement to find "something amazing."
He finds a kitten (Corey Klemow)... no, a book... no, a kitten.  There's a note on the kitten/book.
Terrence reads it... and says, "You're right, Twitters.  This IS amazing."

Photos this week by Angela Carper Lanahan

This week, Terrance loves a kiwi.

The note says the boy is a kitten named Socks, but he says that's not true.
The note also says, "He is not real" - and to ask him about his writing.
But, OH NO...

...Socks' play is about Smacky and Chaz!  How can this be?
Socks says that Twitters helped him write it.

Elsewhere, Kit (Heather Klinke) is being read a bedtime story
by her mother, Jessica (Emily Kosloski).  And the story... is about
Terrence.  It's the story we've been following all this time!

Things get even stranger when Kit stays up to continue reading... and Terrence begs her not to stop.
It turns out that Kit ALSO has a cat named Twitters who hasn't come home.  Terrence tells her
that she needs to join him in the story.  All she has to do is jump in.  He'll catch her...

EPISODE FOUR (2/21/09)

This week's naughty fruit: the tomato.

Socks - whose real name is Chad - meets Smacky and Chaz.

Kit, blown off course as she fell into the book, is caught by Dan and Bab.
They tell her she's in a beautiful story, but a dangerous one... and
become scared when she mentions Twitters is her cat.
"You haven't met the Twitters in here," they tell her.

In the real world, Jessica asks Kit's creepy best friend
Lacey (Jennifer Fenten) if she knows where Kit's vanished to.

Lacey creeps Jessica out, and Terrence gives a history of the tomato.

EPISODE FIVE (2/28/09)

This week's naughty fruit: the watermelon.

Terrence talks about his love of watermelon.

A watermelon - somewhat used - for a lucky audience member.

Bab and Dan admit they don't know where Twitters is... they just
wanted Kit to stay with them so they could see what it's like
to have a family.  Finding Twitters would be dangerous.

Chad gets stuck in a story written by Smacky and Chaz.

Smacky and Chaz make Chad wear
a funny hat and do a little butt dance.

Chaz write the end of Chad's scene:  he and Kit meet, and instantly fall in love.
Chad's so smitten that when he finds out Kit loves cats, he lets her call him Socks.

However, Lacey has an evil plan.  Shhhhh.

She lures Kit back to the real world, and then screams "FUCK YOU, TWITTERS!"
again and again.  Her shouts terrify all the characters in the book.

And with good reason.  Twitters (Brendan Hunt), tended to by the Accordion Man,
just wanted to write a story that would transcend that which is cat in him and
result result in the sublime, but his creations have turned on him, and so they
shall be plunged into darkness... forever!  He closes his book, and the lights go out.

"You can't keep us in darkness forever, Twitters," says Terrance.  "I can
make my own light. This story isn't over. Not by a long shot."

EPISODE SIX (3/28/09)

This week's sexy fruit: the blueberry... a Gargamel's wet dream.

In the dark:
? Kit and Lacey search for Twitters
? Chad is searching for Kit with Dan and Bab, then strikes
off on his own when they're unable to focus on that task
? Terrence finds Twitters' original manuscript, and does
some rewrites in order to bring the lights back up... but the houselights
also come on, initiating an interlude with Smacky and Chaz.

Twitters is upset that he's lost control of the story, and is even more upset
when the Accordion Man tells him Terrence is responsible.  "He wouldn't...
Terrence loves me!"  The Accordion Man says that Twitters will
meet Terrence at the catfish pond... and then stab him.

Meanwhile, Kit and Lacey are now lit by moonlight.  Kit reads in Lacey's book
that Lacey will find a cat at the catfish pond, comfort him... then strangle him.
Where did Lacey get this book?  From a man... a man with an accordion.

"There's no doubt about it," Terrence tells us.  "Tomorrow, someone is going to die."


This week's sexy fruit: the banana.

Terrence reads in the manuscript that he meets Twitters at the catfish pond... so he does.
Twitters learned English by staring at the spines of Terrence's books for years and years.
Twitters just wanted to make Terrence proud.  "You think I don't respect you?"
"You're a famous novelist. I clean my butthole with my face. I sensed an imbalance."
Ultimately, Twitters can't kill Terrence... he sold his knife to a "hairy man."

Twitters bringing the lights up leads to
another interlude with Smacky and Chaz...
who he doesn't remember writing into his play.

To save Twitters, Terrence makes him flee the catfish pond... but little does he know what he's set in motion.
Chad arrives at the pond, still searching for Kit... but Lacey finds him first.  Kit loves cats, so Chad
has let Kit and Lacey think he's a cat named Socks.  Lacey read in the book that she was to strangle
at cat at the catfish pond... so she strangles Chad.

Kit finds Chad's body.

The Accordion Man tells Lacey that she killed the wrong cat.

And to make matters worse, says the Accordion Man, he's not even dead.
The the book says somebody will die today... and indeed...

...Smacky is dead, stabbed in the back with a knife.


This week's sexy fruit: the eggplant.

Within Twitters' story, Terrence finds a copy of his own novel,
"The Tobbaconist"... but oddly altered by Twitters.

The Accordion Man tells Lacey to finish the job and kill Chad.

Chad, believing Kit betrayed him and asked Lacey try to kill him,
has been transformed.  He's out for vengeance... and she's going to die.

Chaz, looking for Smacky, meets Dog (Joe Fria)...
who says he knows how to bring Smacky back.

"The Tobbaconist" - and Chaz tries to deal with the loss of Smacky.

EPISODE NINE (4/18/09)

This week's sexy fruit: a delightful bowl of berries.

Dog's ritual, involving things Smacky loved, works - Smacky lives again!

Twitters sings Terrence a song to try to beg forgiveness.

Twitters' song.

Menwhile, Chad has murdered Kit.  His hands and
face still bloody, Lacey kisses and seduces him.

Dog confronts Terrence over a woman named Penelope.
"You broke my heart."  "No, YOU broke your heart."
"I thought she was real..." says Dog, then eats a berry.
"It tastes just like her," he says.

"I want you to make things right," says Dog.
"Have you ever wondered why I fuck fruit?" says
Terrence to the audience. "You're about to find out."

EPISODE TEN (4/25/09)

This week's sexy fruit: the peach.

The ghost of a woman named Penelope (Rachel Germaine), who Terrence
and Dog used to see working at the Farmer's Market, haunts Terrence,
asking again and again, "Answer me one question..."

Terrence is discomfited, and needs to take a break,
so he gives us an interlude with Chaz and Smacky.
The puppets were built last week by fans Erika Salomon
and Rachel Howe, and written into the show!)

Puppets!  Yay!

Still caked with Kit's blood, Chad and Lacey enjoy a post-coital moment.

Lacey poisons Chad with a peach.  He's
served his purpose.  Lacey's pregnant.

Dog and Twitters join forces to destroy Terrence.

"Answer me one question... WHY DID YOU KILL ME?"


This week's sexy fruit: the pomegranate.

Chaz and Smacky perform some Pinter.

Smacky and Chaz present: Harold Pinter's "Silence."

Bab and Dan emerge from the story to
fetch Kit's mother.  "We'll take you to her!"

Lacey's about to give birth, but as the child is born,
Twitters exclaims, "That don't look right! That don't
look like a person! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

Chad, dead, is in Hell.

And Dog is threatening to send Terrence there as well.

The story of Dog and Terrence's enmity.


This week's sexy fruit: the honeydew.

Chaz and Smacky are horrified to find themselves in Hell,
but quickly recover and decide to go to a disco to meet ladies.

Chad meets Dog in Hell.

They find a weeping Penelope - turns out that really was her name after all - but
she won't go back to the land of the living.  She's terrified and says that "He'll be mad."
Who?  The man who created all of this.  She's seen his face.  And she runs off.

"Who is this man that she's talking about? Not me. Not Twitters.
Whoever it is, one thing is for certain - A CAT DID NOT WRITE THIS PLAY."

Stills taken from video by Suze Campagna

This week's sexy fruit: corn.

At the disco, Smacky meets Jackie (Jaime Andrews)... and she
promises to set Chaz up with her friend Jaz.  It's short for Jazmin.
And it turns out that Chaz is short for Chazmin!  YAY!

Though they can't find the real Penelope again, Chad suggests writing
a letter to the fictional Penelope - who for all intents and purposes
"died" when Terrence's letters stopped - to see if she writes back.

"Vacation in hell, YAY!"

Jessica is finally reunited with Kit.

"It seems I'm not just a narrator any more."

Terrence remembers a magical, mysterious night from his youth,
and Jessica's search for Kit will change all their lives... forever.

Photos by C.M. Gonzalez, plus stills taken from video by Suze Campagna

Terrence has forgotten to bring a fruit this week,
so Kit gives him a pear she found here... in hell.
The fruit brings visions of things that are happening now.

Dog writes a letter to the fictional Penelope, with Chad's "help."

"How do I send it?"  "Just... let go."
The letter flaps and flies away.

Jackie introduces her friend Jaz (Tifanie McQueen).

Double date!

Jaz 'n' Chaz.

Jessica tells Terrence that they must
defeat Bird - he has no soul.
"You'd be surprised what a person can do without one."

Meanwhile, Lacey finally gives birth... to a book.

The Accordion Man orders her to open it and read it.

"In walks the Bird."  (David LM McIntyre)

Twitters is terrified by the Bird's power.

In walks the Bird.

Photos by Juliette Storace, plus stills taken from video by Suze Campagna

This week's sexy fruit: the orange.


Dan has a present for Terrence, who is his only friend.

Dancing Oranges!  (C.M. Gonzalez & Julia Griswold)

Dan plans to propose to Bab, as Chad follow's Dog's
love letter (Kelsey Wedeen) through the Underworld.
And a love letter in Hell is a very powerful thing.

Jaz and Chaz's first date goes well.  "You know those pictures you
have in your head of what the rest of your life is gonna be like?
I'm gonna have to take all those pictures and paste you in."

The letter leads Chad to Kit at last.  He tearfully apologizes, and they reconcile.
She wonders why she still has cuts and bruises all over her face when he doesn't.
He shows her it comes off easily.  Such is the power of love, even in Hell.

Bird, who is mute but can make others speak for him with a mere touch (although Twitters just spews nonsense,
so he sticks with Lacey), spells out his plans for world domination.  A walk on the beach, kill all the humans, then
maybe a massage.  But first... someone has to die.  But who?  He whispers the name to Jessica.

"It's love that keeps her from uttering the name.
But I know the name.  Because it's mine."


This week's sexy fruit: the kumquat.

Say it with me now: "Kumquat."

Dan proposes to Bab.

Dan's proposal.

Kit and Chad need souls to escape Hell - they lost theirs when they died -
and happen to run into soul salesman Rick (Bryan Krasner), who gives
them a special:  with every two souls, they get an extra soul.
But what are they gonna do with an extra soul?

Rick berates his associate, Kyle (Colin Willkie).
Kyle's 36 years old, and Rick has stolen his soul.

Smacky has gone missing, so Chaz and Jaz go to
visit Smacky's mom, Jenniferackie (Pat Towne).

Jenniferackie likes to play slinky better than watching "Damages."
And she's glad that her son has such good friends.

Dog finds the fictional Penelope.

How real can their love be?

Terrence goes to see The Bird to find out why he has to die.
"Do you really think you're trapped in this story?" he asks.
The Bird frees Lacey... then has him wait with the Accordion Man.

Jessica takes over the narration. "Terrence was waiting for his killer to arrive.
And somewhere deep down inside, he was fine with that.  He knew that
somehow, his death would help save all of his friends.  So he waited.
And as he waited, he felt a joy bubble up from out of his soul."


The entire cast joins in an explosion of joy.

Terrence is content...

...and surrenders himself to his fate.

Joy from the soul.

Photos by Juliette Storace

This week's sexy fruit: the apple.  We've come full circle.
And Terrence remembers that he's dying... he's been shot by Penelope...

...who is dying herself.  She's begun to bleed and cough; without a soul, she'll fade away.
Dog is distraught.  The real Penelope doesn't like pistachio or dasies like her...
but the real Penelope doesn't know anything about Dog.  She does. And that's why he loves her.

The Accordion Man explains to Lacey why Terrence must die.


When Chaz, Jaz and Jenniferackie find that Smacky's simply been marching around the forest, they
berate him for running off like that.  An argument ensues, but eventually, it all works out, because...


Kit and Chad have resolved to give their extra soul to Penelope...
but they run into the Bird en route, and he has other plans.

Kyle wants to buy his soul back from Rick.  Dan supports him.  In the
ensuing struggle, the suitcase breaks open... and the souls inside take flight.
Everyone without a soul suddenly gets one...

...except Penelope. It's too late. She'd died
moments earlier, and then burned off like the mist.

However, all is not lost.  Dog, armed with a new soul,
decides to find the real Penelope, and say the things to
her that he couldn't say so long ago.  It's a new beginning.

Terrence dies.  And then...