Welcome to Sacred Fools Theater Company, est. 1997
CLOSE SEASON ONE, July 2005 - July 2006       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio
CLOSE SEASON TWO, Oct. 2006 - July 2007       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio
CLOSE SEASON THREE, Sept. 2007 - July 2008       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio
CLOSE SEASON FOUR, Sept. 2008 - July 2009       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow = Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON FIVE, Sept. 2009 - June 2010       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow = Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON SIX, Sept. 2010 - June 2011       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow = Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON SEVEN, Sept. 2011 - June 2012       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON EIGHT, Sept. 2012 - July 2013       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON NINE, Sept. 2013 - Aug. 2014       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON TEN, Sept. 2014 - May 2015       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON ELEVEN, Sept. 2015 - May 2016       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoffs Finalists
CLOSE SEASON TWELVE, Oct. 2016 - May 2017       = Photos  = Videos  = Audio   Yellow= Playoff Serials
CLOSE THE NIGHTCAP and Other Miscellany      
10/27/07: A Halloween Song - a song by Richard Levinson
 4/05/08: An Easter Song - a song by Richard Levinson
07/12/08: Patrick Duffy Pays Tribute - Patrick Duffy pays tribute to fallen serials at the 3rd Annual Thurstys
07/12/08: The Proposal Song - a song at the 3rd Annual Thurstys becomes a real marriage proposal!
10/18/08: Biting Political Satire - a song by Richard Levinson
 2/21/09: High Five City - celebrations at our 100th episode
 4/04/09: All The Leaves Are Brown - Terry helps us pass time at vote count
 4/11/09: Dear Back Pain - Joe Hernandez-Kolski wites a breakup letter
 5/02/09: Klagdor & Keely - Klagdor the aspiring-actor robot auditions for "Louis & Keely"
 4/02/11: Send in the Carnies - a song by Richard Levinson
 5/28/11: The Serial Killers Dancers: Bad Karma
 6/25/11: The Serial Killers Dancers: Cannibal
10/08/11: The Serial Killers Dancers: Hell on Heels
 2/11/12: Elvis Prestello: Tramp the Dirt Down
 4/21/12: The Serial Killers Dancers: Backstabber Lady
 6/09/12: The Serial Killers Dancers: Do It Like a Dude
10/06/12: The Serial Killers Dancers: Promises
10/20/12: The Hip News: Vote Dizzy - The Hip News swings the election!
 2/23/13: The Serial Killers Dancers: Hey, Big Spender
 3/02/13: Bela Lugosi's Passion - Cabaret act For Lovers Only combines two great songs.
 4/27/13: The Serial Killers Dancers: Black Sheep
 7/13/13: Joe Dances Dirty - Joe Hernandez-Kolski talks about wanting to be Patrick Swayze
 7/20/13: The Engagement Dance of Walter Trey Perkins & Donnelle Fuller - Our second live-on-stage real-life proposal!
 9/28/13: Russell Sings - Cub Sinatra
10/19/13: Only a Lad - Marz Richards sings to round out your evening.
11/23/13: Karl and Little Joey - Karl describes an outrageous act to his pal Joey.
12/07/13: Karl and Little Joey Apologize - An abject Karl apologizes for last week's act.
12/14/13: Smooth Movementz - The dancing sensation that's sweeping the nation.
02/15/14: For Singles Only - Marz Richards will turn you into a lover.
02/08/14: Khan Khan - A musical number from China: The Whole Enchilada.
02/22/14: Roar and Jump - Michelle Gardner performs dances in American Sign Language.
03/01/14: Smooth Moviementz - Smooth Movementz returns with a salute to the movies.
04/12/14: Lovers Dance Apart - "For Lovers Only" presents a lovers musical mashup.
04/19/14: Giter Brider Itzik & Better Off Without a Wife - The dulcet tones of Bryan Krasner.
04/26/14: Rhune Kincaid - Songs of love and doom.
05/03/14: Zachary Bernstein - Zach sings "I've Got My Eye on You" and "Crispy Crispy Clementine."
05/24/14: Devil Doll - Disturbing doings from Marz Richards.
05/24/14: An Encounter with Sates - Sates sings "Encounter."
07/05/14: Tribute to America - Smooth Movementz presents a July 4 weekend patriotic tribute.
07/19/14: Big Finish - A big finish as many of the Season 9 Nightcaps combine for one mega-Nightcap.
09/13/14: Maral Adams - Stand-up comedy from Maral Adams.
09/20/14: Mr. Snapper & Mr. Buddy Make Whoopee - Thoughts on the most important part of matrimony.
09/20/14: Mr. Snapper & Mr. Buddy Cowboy Up - An old cowhand on the Rio Grande.
09/27/14: Glen Frazier - Stand-up comic Glen Frazier.
10/04/14: Milo Martin - Utopian nihilist and master of poetry Milo Martin performs a new work.
10/11/14: Korey Simeone - A short history lesson about fiddle music.
10/25/14: Your Host, Birthday Clown - Birthday Clown performs Renfield's "Stuntshow."
01/31/15: Karl Herlinger & Little Joey's Dating Tips - Questionable advice.
02/21/15: Michelle Gardner - Lip-sync sign language dance.
02/28/15: Before Dawn - Musical duo from Austin, Texas.
03/07/15: For Lovers Only - "Thunderbass" - Another musical mashup from "For Lovers Only."
04/04/15: A Word From the Producers of 99 Seat Theater - We're in the money.
04/11/15: The Awesome Gentleman's Society - Gentrifying the hip-hops.
04/18/15: Zachary Bernstein & Friends & Enemies - A "No Scrubs" musical interlude.
04/25/15: Jeremy Gayhorse & Uni - Famed stallion Jeremy Gayhorse visits with insight and poetry.
05/02/15: Orange Blossom Special - Korey Simeone (fiddle), Ryan Johnson (keyboard) and Chris Novicki (drum).
05/16/15: Smooth TV Movementz - Smooth Movementz returns with their tribute to television.
09/20/15: The Radioactive Chickenheads - Punk band The Radioactive Chickenheads rock the Nightcap.
09/26/15: Tyler Tyler - The magic of Tyler Tyler.
10/03/15: Red Light District - Red Light District perform a stripped-down version of their music.
10/10/15: Korey Simeone - Maybe - Korey Simeone may or may not be our entertainment tonight.
11/21/15: Nikki Muller - The Cole Porter of vagina songs.
12/05/15: Dinah Steward - A jazzy "Ghostbusters" and an original song from this classy vocalist.
12/12/15: Ari Radousky's Game Show Thing - High-speed trivia, loud and lightning-fast! Can YOU keep up with Ari?
12/19/15: Smooth Movementz - They're back with a salute to one-hit wonders!
02/20/16: Einstein's Girl - Science and romance collide in this musical performance.
02/27/16: Brendan Sings Bowie - Brendan Hunt and Zachary Bernstein pay tribute to the Starman.
03/12/16: Smokey Miles - Three bespoke songs from the human alter-ego of cult-favorite Count Smokula.
04/16/16: Brandon McCulloch - Three songs from balladeer Brandon McCulloch.
10/08/16: Doña Oxford - Doña Oxford sings "Something You Got"
10/15/16: Nate Shelkey - Nate performs the seasonally appropriate "Halloween 1987."
10/22/16: les petits guignolers - in "La Petit Mort" (The Little Death).
10/29/16: SKULLDUGGERY: "Eight Phases" - A musical number from our mainstage show, a prequel to Hamlet.
11/12/16: R.J. Comer - The Gentleman Outlaw sings "Smothered," "Leave Your Light On" and "St. James Infirmary"
02/04/17: Host Segment: Victor Isaac - Handsome can't compensate for some things.
02/25/17: Michelle Gardner: "Creep" & "F*** You" - w/Rodnesha K. Green, Monica Greene & Cj Merriman.
04/08/17: Amir Levi w/Brenda Varda - Excerpts from Amir Levi's cabaret show, with Brenda Varda on keys.
04/15/17: Joe Hernandez-Kolski: "Letter to My Future Wife" - Award-winning Spoken word artist Joe H-K returns.
04/22/17: Ian Smith - Original music.
04/29/17: Tina B. - Spoken word artist Tina B.

PRETENCIA!
written & directed by Scott Leggett
co-directed by JJ Mayes (ep. 2)

10 Episodes
Original Run: 5 Episodes - 11/29/08 - 2/7/09
Playoffs: 5 Episodes - 5/30/09 - 6/27/09

Better to have beasts that let themselves
be killed than men who run away.

CAST

Jaime Robledo

The Crier (Eps. 1-10)

Julia Griswold

The Screamer (Eps. 1-10)

Michael Holmes

The Cowboy (Eps. 1-10)

JJ Mayes

The Owner (Eps. 1-5)
The Android Owner (Eps. 6-10)

Brian Wallis

The Friend (Eps. 1-5)
The Android Friend (Eps. 6-10)

Jaime Andrews

Hermaphroditic Jesus (Eps. 1-8)
Not Hermaphroditic Jesus (Ep. 9)

Joe Hendrix

Pet Hitler (Eps. 1-5)

Paul Plunkett

Android Pet Hitler (Eps. 6-10)

Emily Pennington

The Punk-Girl (Eps. 2-5)

Natasha Norman

Eva Braun (Ep. 2)

Richard Levinson

The Player (Eps. 2, 4 & 10)

Bryan Krasner

The Idiot (Eps. 3 & 5)
Cyborg Cecil B. DeMille (Ep. 10)

Philip Newby

Mephistopheles (Ep. 3)

Rebecca Larsen

Jackie Kennedy Onassis (Ep. 3)

Jenelle Riley

The Wife (Ep. 4-5)

Matt Valle

Schlog (Ep. 4-5)

Franci Montgomery

Marilyn Monroe Maid (Ep. 4-5)
Marilyn Monroe Sex Slave (Eps. 6-9)

Henry Dittman

Philip Newby (Ep. 4)
Moustache Man (Ep. 5)
Shiva (Eps. 6-8)

Michael Lanahan

Vampyre Gandhi (Ep. 5)

Stephen Simon

The Rest of Shiva (Eps. 6-8)

Joe Fria

Android Homicide Detective (Ep. 8)

Peter Fluet

Herr Direktor Bertolt Hugemeyer (Eps. 8-9)
Cyborg Millard Filmore (Ep. 10)

Kat Bardot

Virgin Mary-Bot 9000 (Ep. 9)

Pat Towne

Cyborg Woodie Guthrie (Ep. 10)

Derek Mehn

Speaker the Time Baby (Ep. 10)

Rebecca Larsen

Inana the Time Baby (Ep. 10)

Matt Valle

Utu the Time Baby (Ep. 10)

Carrie Wiita

The Cowgirl (Ep. 10)
Music & Lyrics ("My Pet Hitler" and
"Song of the Time Babies")
by Richard Levinson
(Eps. 2 & 15)
Choreography by Natasha Norman (Eps. 2-3)

PHOTOS
by C.M. Gonzalez

EPISODE ONE (11/29/08)


The Screamer (Julia Griswold), The Crier (Jaime Robledo)
and The Owner (JJ Mayes).


Enter the lonely Cowboy (Michael Holmes), who just wants 30 pieces
of silver in order to purchase some land where he can grow beets with
a special someone, and rest his scrotum bag and all of its contents.


The Friend (Brian Wallis) listens to all The Owner's troubles.


The Owner's pet Hitler (Joe Hendrix) has been a very naughty Hitler...
he bit the Owner's face and ran away after the Owner yelled at him.


Jesus (Jaime Andrews) has come back!
And now has both a penis and a vagina!


Jesus and the Cowboy seem to share a bond...


...but he/she winds up in the arms of the pet Hitler!


It all went down a little something like this...

EPISODE TWO (12/6/08)
Photos this week by Suze Campagna


The Cowboy broods.  As he does.


The Screamer hates The Punk Girl (Emily Pennington).


Jesus tries to bring peace and love between the rivals.


Jesus' expression says what all of us are thinking.

EPISODE THREE (12/13/08)
Photos this week by Aaron Francis


Distraught at the conflict wrought by the rivalry of The Cowboy and Hitler
for his/her love, Hermaphrodite Jesus flees the
discothèque.


The Crier's new pet, The Idiot (Bryan Krasner).


The Owner and The Friend want Jesus eliminated so that the pet Hitler
will return home.  They offer the conflicted Cowboy... 30 pieces of silver.
They invite him home for a dinner of steak fried baby to give him time to consider.


The Punk Girl, who is the daughter of The Owner,
likes The Cowboy.  Also, she's been saving her spit.


Casual dinner conversation.
Click below to hear this scene!
 


Jackie Kennedy Onasis (Rebecca Larsen) is the maid.  The Punk Girl thinks
she is the worst Jackie Kennedy Onasis maid ever and makes her drink her spit.


Jesus wonders why his/her father has abandoned him/her.


Enter Mephistopheles (Philip Newby, in his final stage performance).


Mephistopheles tries to tempt Jesus!


Mephistopheles and Hitler meet... and it's love at first sight.


It all went down a little something like this...


In a "Special Christmas Greeting," the entire cast sings "Feed the World"
while The Idiot throws candy and condoms into the audience.

EPISODE FOUR (1/31/09)
Photos this week by Amber Rey


The story so far is recapped... up to a point.  But the dinner goes differently this time.
We meet The Owner's despondent wife, The Wife (Jenelle Riley)...


...The Punk Girl's dissafected boyfriend, Schlog (Matt Valle)...


...and the Marilyn Monroe maid (Franci Montgomery),
who has replaced the Jackie Kennedy Onasis maid.


The Marilyn Monroe maid tries to seduce The Cowboy into killing Jesus.


Schlog, accompanied by The Player (Richard Levinson), sings "Happiness Is a Warm Gun."


Bang bang, shoot shoot.


But before he can pull the trigger, he is stopped by a
mysterious stranger... a Moustache Man (Henry Dittman), who tells
him that this action will not bring him the happiness he seeks.
How does he know so much about The Cowboy?  Because...


"I am Phil Newby."


One by one, the entire cast and crew of that night's
Serial Killers emerge and proclaim, "I am Phil Newby."


It all went down a little something like this...

EPISODE FIVE (2/7/08)


The Punk Girl meets Vampire Gandhi (Michael Lanahan)
and decides to become one of his followers. Super-duper!


The Idiot reveals to a lonely Jesus that he is, in fact, God.

END OF PRETENCIA.  SLOW FADE TO BLACK.

EPISODE SIX (5/30/09) - "Dawn of the Cowboy of 1000 Years"
PLAYOFFS WEEK ONE!


Re-Introduction, as the story shifts... to the FUTURE!

A Thousand Years Hence, and the rich and powerful have downloaded
their thoughts and memories into android bodies... ROBOTS!
They look, talk and act like people... but they are fucking ROBOTS!


Shiva (Henry Dittman with Stephen Simon) is
the bartender in the future discothèque.


The Android Owner scolds Android Pet Hitler (Paul Plunkett)
for making sheitze on Shiva's bar.


Enter the Cowboy, who has lived a thousand years,
searching fruitlessly for the stranger.


Hermaphrodite Jesus watches in horror as the Cowboy prepares
to give himself to the Android Owner's Marilyn Monroe Sex Slave.
And the Marilyn Monroe Sex Slave says she's no robot...

EPISODE SEVEN (6/6/09) - "Temptation of the Cowboy of 1000 Years"
PLAYOFFS WEEK TWO!

For the first time in many, many centuries,
the Cowboy felt a stirring in his scrotum bag.

"On a hot summer night, would you offer your
android throat to the Pumatar with the red roses?"


Well... she took the words right out of his mouth.


Shiva officiates a wedding while Hitler does what Hitler does best.


Hermaphrodite Jesus has shot the Cowboy!
"The Assassination of Hope!  Slow fade to black!"

EPISODE EIGHT (6/13/09) - "Deconstruction of the Cowboy of 1000 Years"
PLAYOFFS WEEK THREE!


Jesus claims she did it for love.  Nobody's buying it.


The Cowboy is dying.


"A cowboy, shot, barely alive.  Androids, we can rebuild him.
He will be better than he vass before... STRONGER!  FASTER!"


The Android Homicide Detective (Joe Fria)
demands to know why Jesus isn't an android.


Steve wanders in from the next sketch over and is totally freaked out.


"I am become... android."
"BUT WHAT OF THE PROPHECY?" wails Jesus.


Herr Direktor Bertolt Hugemeyer (Peter Fluet) calls a halt to the proceedings.  After After excoriating
the Pretencia Players, he apologies to the audience - "This episode is stupid and vulgar."

And he drops a couple of bombshells:
"By the way, Android Marilyn Monroe Sex Slave is PREGNANT!  VASS?
Also, THAT'S NOT REALLY JESUS EITHER!  VASS DA FUCK?"

EPISODE NINE (6/20/09) - "Trial of the Hermaphrodite Jesus"
PLAYOFFS WEEK FOUR!
Photos by Juliette Storace, plus stills from video by Suze Campagna


The Cowboy is dead.  There is only Android Cowboy now.


Herr Direktor apologizes that this week's
 performance is "unsuitable - i.e. IT IS SHIT!"


Therefore, he is handing out new scripts - live - that the actors HAVE
NEVER SEEN BEFORE - and directing them LIVE ON STAGE.  For reals.


The Cowboy is made to do push-ups during
his angsty monologue.  SLOW push-ups.


As Marilyn Monroe reveals she's pregnant with the android's
child, Herr Direktor tells her to do it like she's from the Valley.


The Screamer and the Crier are briefly made to switch roles.


Hermaphrodite Jesus is put on trial for shooting the Cowboy.


The Virgin Mary-Bot (Kat Bardot)
testifies that this is not her son!


Hermaphrodite Jesus rips off his/her beard and admits he/she is NOT Jesus,
but rather Vomitrov, a time-traveler from the future where humanity has evolved
into a race of hermaphrodites!  Herr Direktor has her deliver her monologue like
Liza Minelli.  She then escapes her trial via time travel, having prevented the
Prophecy from coming true by shooting the Cowboy and turning him Android!  I think.
The plot points were kind of hard to follow this week.  As you might imagine.


The Virgin Mary-Bot offers comfort to Marilyn Monroe.


The Android Pet Hitler won't come down from the tree.
The Owner and Friend kiss in Hitler's golden shower.


While doing an expressive dance routine, the Cowboy
realizes that even as an Android, he still loves the
Marilyn Monroe Sex Slave and their unborn child.


Vomitrov returns from the future, announcing that the
Prophecy CAN now be fulfilled - for he/she is pregnant!


And the Screamer reveals to the Crier that she is also pregnant.
"You're going to be a papa, Kristov."  The couple express their joy.


Some brief... highlights?... from this episode.

EPISODE TEN (6/27/09) - "Children of the Third Millennium"
PLAYOFFS WEEK FIVE!

Another 1000 years hence...
the Cyborg revolution is at hand
to destroy the androids!

L-R: Peter Fluet as "Cyborg Millard Fillmore,"
Pat Towne as "Cyborg Woody Guthrie"
and Bryan Krasner as "Cyborg Cecil B. DeMille"


Almost nothing can stop the Cyborgs... other than...
TIME BABIES! Conceived at the moment of a nuclear explosion!
They can go back in time, find the original programmers and
destroy them! It's like The Terminator in reverse!
(L-R: Matt Valle as "Utu" and Derek Mehn as "Speaker")


Nothing is the same... what will happen to their baby?
Time does not affect the Crier, the teller of tales! He must continue!
Before the motherfucking baby kicks her uterus black and blue!


Android Friend and Owner are genetically
fused together and begging for alms.
Android Pet Hitler has escaped through the time rift with the Time Babies.


Enter a Stranger.  She has no
routing code. For she is... human.


She is the Cowgirl (Carrie Wiita).  She is the daughter of the Cowboy and Android
Marilyn Monroe Sex Slave.  And she is... a TIME BABY.  She seeks the other Time Babies,
so that she may conquer the Cybogs, and then rest her uterus box and all its contents.


Android Pet Hitler mothers the Time Babies.
(Far Right: Rebecca Larsen as "Inana")


The Cowgirl arrives to take the Time Babies,
much to the consternation of Android Pet Hitler.


Inappropriate Musical Number: "Song of the Time Babies"


The Time Babies embark on their quest to the
past to destroy the Cyborg Programmer.


"My dear Android Marilyn Monroe... be careful.
Our daughter is on her way to murder you. She will fulfill
the prophecy. And I will do everything I can... to help her."

What the fuck!?  Slow fade to black!