About     Get Involved     Archives     Search

inspired by (and stealing its name from) an
episode of Vatos in Space by Jon Monastero...


written & directed by David LM McIntyre

1 Episode

Winning isn't everything. It's just what winners do!


Corey Klemow

Lewis Chaptham, the writer

David LM McIntyre

Frank Marshalli, the producer

Henry Dittman

Oscar McGee, the announcer

Curt Collier

Tiny Lefty Squat-Zone Brown, the commentator

JJ Mayes

Unnamed Apple Pie Sportsballer

Stephen Simon

Joe Murphy-Smith Cortiz, the natural

Donal Thoms-Capello

Chuck Lookherse, the professional

Eric Johnson

Buz Mashengi, the reporter

Matt Valle

Lenny Pederasty, the heel

Colin Willkie

Johnny Beshoigen, the rookie

Bruno Oliver

Greyson Lizard-Hammer, the coach

Stacey Jackson

Jenny Slinksleeves, the temptress

by Emily Donn

Writer Lewis Chaptham - a screenwriter who knows nothing about sports, but loves
sports MOVIES - has written a sports movie screenplay!  Here are just some of the
characters from his magnum opus, about the sport of Sportsball.  We open just before
the big game, on the morning of the annual end-of-the-year Sportsball Tournee.

Sportsballer Lenny Pederasty (Matt Valle) - it's pronounced Pe-DRASTY... it's a
traditional Irish-Catholic name... and Joe Murphy-Smith Cortiz (Stephen Simon),
a natural drafted into the sport at an advanced age after a lifetime on the farm.

Rookie Johnny Beshoigen (Colin Willkie), a player for the hometown Apple Pies,
is interviewed by reporter Buzz Mashengi (Eric Johnson).  Unconscious behind
them is Chuck Lookherse (Donal Thoms-Cappello), who is suffering from a
terrible illness, but insists he's going to pull it together for the sake of the team.

Jenny Slinksleeves (Stacey Jackson) seduces Lenny -
the heel! - in order to get him to throw the game.

The cast of SPORTSBALLERS!  L-R: Eric Johnson, Colin Willkie,
Henry Dittman, Corey Klemow, David LM McIntyre, JJ Mayes, Matt Valle,
Stephen Simon, Stacey Jackson, Bruno Oliver and Curt Collier
(Not pictured: Donal Thoms-Capello)