May 2, 2001 -
Well, it was another big week, This Week in Crime
But not just in Crime…it’s also been a big week
in Punishment as once again the will of the people has been thwarted by
the Left-Wing, Commie-Loving, Anti-American Bolsheviks at the Federal
Bureau of Investigation… So a few thousand documents were withheld
during the trial of America’s Greatest Serial Killer, Timothy McVeigh,
well boo hoo hoo.
Let’s get the facts straight -- something the
Liberal Media just can’t seem to do -- FACT: Timothy McVeigh is guilty.
FACT: He bombed the Edward R. Murrow building. Period. That’s it. He did
it. He admitted he did it. And that’s it.
Why does he need to look at these new documents?
Is he hoping to find out that he didn’t do it?
Not only did he do it. He bragged about doing it. And so it is our patriotic American Duty to make sure he dies as quickly as possible.
The American People can not stand yet another thirty
days of Timothy McVeigh being alive before we kill him! He must die. He
must die. And he must die quickly and now…Before he can escape from his
solitary confinement in his maximum security prison, build another
enormous bomb, and blow up the Walter G. Cronkite building.
As our excellent new Attorney General, John Ashcroft
recently said: QUOTE - “Every day that Timothy McVeigh doesn’t die is
another day that Jesus Christ weeps tears of blood and angry
vengeance”…Okay, maybe he didn’t say exactly that…but
still…we must hurry up and kill this man quickly! Because that is the
And speaking of the American Way, let us not forget
the greatest American President of our day, George W. Bush, who, as
Governor of Texas signed into legislation the brilliant no-tolerance,
that the Liberal Media would let you know it…but it turns out
that in Texas, the penalty for the third Underage Drinking offense is –
you guessed it – the Death Penalty… So I don’t care if she is the
President’s Daughter. One more Frozen Margarita and that little Lady is
And speaking of frying…where does that Robert Blake get off killing his wife and claiming his “innocence”. I say Baretta must die!
Also, both Colombo and McGyver should also be
And while we’re killing people, I say we kill that
guy who says “if we don’t beat our competitors price, your Mattress is
Also, I’d like to kill Larry King. Just because,
frankly, I think we’d be doing both him, and his next six or seven wives
As yesterdays Crown Prince, but today’s new KING of
Nepal has proven…This country…even though that was Nepal and this is
America…is built on the right to kill people with indiscriminant
And justice, and death, and perhaps occasional random
and televised dismemberments is all that we demand from our government. Is
that too much to ask? Sissy Fag Boys?! I think not.
…And that’s this week’s This Week In Crime…